Tag: uncategorized

Because when your heart is just full of pain for the plight of women, the first thing you do is design a medical assault rifle that fires a copper barb through her cervix

producing a continual low grade infection which will cause her uterus to expel any fertilized eggs, on the off-chance that sperm survived and an egg was released.  Your goal is to make it so easy to use that you don’t even have to be a doctor.

Of course, she may still want to follow up with a doctor if she experiences any of the common side effects of IUDs, such as severe cramps, infection, heavy bleeding, weight gain, irritability, uterine perforations, anemia, life-threatening ectopic pregnancy, and permanent infertility.  One woman discovered that the IUD had wandered right into her liver, the rascal. And one woman ended up having her sternum cracked open to retrieve the device that had migrated all the way into her rib cage.  Ha!  Ladies and their lady problems.

But basically, other than that, it’s one of the safest medical choices a woman can make.   Yes, it’s safe.  Didn’t I tell you it was safe?  Shut up and spread your legs, so I can aim this thing.

 

Wah, my daughter just left for her first day of high school, and I forgot to tell her she looked pretty.  Well, it’s only a half day, and she seemed like she knew it, anyway.  Tomorrow I’ll give both girls a blessing before they leave.  (The other kids don’t start school until next week!)

And for everyone they meet, here’s some rules (courtesy of an amazing blog, Ask the Past)

Each and every one attached to this university is forbidden to offend with insult, torment, harass, drench with water or urine, throw on or defile with dust or any filth, mock by whistling, cry at them with a terrifying voice, or dare to molest in any way whatsoever physically or severely, any, who are called freshmen, in the market, streets, courts, colleges and living houses, or any place whatsoever, and particularly in the present college, when they have entered in order to matriculate or are leaving after matriculation.
Leipzig University Statute (1495)

 

 

at least it’s an ethos!  According to Philip Primeau of Catholic Lane.  He responds tomy little romp through the pecadillos of our hero Putin with this manly thrashing (emphasis mine):

The fact is, Mrs. Fisher and Mr. Shea do not scorn Putin because of his disregard for Christian values—which he is struggling mightily to restore, however spotted his own soul may be—but because of his disregard for the dangerous ideals of the Enlightenment. These liberal ideals, such as “freedom of speech” and “freedom of religion,” are sacred to many Catholics, despite the church’s longstanding contempt for such intellectual licentiousness. 

Yep, you heard it here first:  The Catholic Church has longstanding contempt for liberal ideals, such as “freedom of speech” and “freedom of religion.”

If John Paul II were alive today, he’d be punching Philip Primeau in the back of the head when no one was looking.

With The Carlos Danger Name Generator.

I entered “Ron Mexico” and came out with “Dario Kill.”  Hard to argue with that.

Oh my sisters and brothers, here is the best story you will read all week.

Rolling Stone, in its wisdom, has chosen to feature alleged Boston bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on its cover, presumably because the murder of innocents is always edgy, especially if there are big brown eyes and lavish curls involved.

CVS is refusing to sell the issue.  Here’s their statement on their Facebook page (via Gawker):

CVS/pharmacy has decided not to sell the current issue of Rolling Stone featuring a cover photo of the Boston Marathon bombing suspect. As a company with deep roots in New England and a strong presence in Boston, we believe this is the right decision out of respect for the victims of the attack and their loved ones.

Don’t waste your time with the comments, as usual.  There’s a bunch of disingenuous snark about how National Review must love and endorse Obama and Osama Bin Laden, since they put him on their cover, nyeh nyeh.  Ugh, as if there isn’t enough stupidity in the world, we have to have people pretending to be stupid.

Anyway, good for CVS.  May God for give Tsarnaev, and may the rest of us have the strength to refrain from sexifying evil.

Marissa Alexander of Jacksonville had said the state’s “Stand Your Ground” law should apply to her because she was defending herself against her allegedly abusive husband when she fired warning shots inside her home in August 2010. She told police it was to escape a brutal beating by her husband, against whom she had already taken out a protective order.

But instead, she got sentenced to 20 years for attempted murder.

And here’s my analysis:

 

Treated a little harshly on the internet yesterday?  Liz Lemon feels your pain.

Yesterday, as I pulled into that treacherous intersection that always makes drape my forearm across the steering wheel so I can steer better, I said to myself, “I’m not going to accidentally honk the horn today.  I’m not going to accidentally honk the horn today.”  And then I was all, “AUGHHH, WHY ARE YOU HONKING AT ME, JERK?”  Then, to cover my confusion, I wadded up an old Burger King bag and vehemently threw it into the backseat.  That’ll show ‘em.

I’m telling you this story because I want you to know what to expect when you read my blog.

I’ve been blogging for about six years now — most recently for the National Catholic Register.   I sometimes write for various other respectable publications, like Catholic Digest and Our Sunday Visitor, and I wrote the chapter on motherhood for Style, Sex, and Substance.  I speak at conferences and events.  And this fall, I’ll have my first book out:  an ebook and audiobook called The Sinner’s Guide to NFP.

I write about books and more books, art (good and bad), pro-life issues (good andbad), how to raise decent kids and have a decent marriage in an indecent world, and how to tell the difference between coming closer to God, and just copy-catting people’s holiness style; and how to see stuff that you need to see and do the stuff you need to do.  Among other things, I have recently covered the papal conclave, a secular company that’s bucking Obamacare, and, over the years, more posts than you mightthink it’s possible to write about modesty.

And then sometimes I just write about HONK HONNNK!

I think today is one of those days, and all of you guys out there — you know, my new readers, who have no idea who I am and no particular reason to keep on reading my stuff  – you’re the people in the cars around me.  Just living your lives, following the rules of the road, looking straight ahead so you don’t accidentally make eye contact with the twitchy lady driving the van with all the crooked bumper stickers and the windows that are so smeary, you can’t tell if that’s nine kids inside, or just an enormous amount of car garbage.  Carbage.

Well, before the light turns green, let me introduce myself.  I’m Simcha Fisher.  I’m 38 years old, I’ve been married for fifteen years, and I have both nine kids and a van full of garbage.  I’m a homeschooling failure, a drinker, a sorehead, a slob, a pedant, and, depending on who you ask, a prime example of what’s wrong with religious people, what’s wrong with the Church today, or what will continue to be wrong with the Church tomorrow unless we dooooooooooooo something.

The archives from my old blog should be up soon!  In the mean time, here is what I look like:

and here is what I feel like:

 

This lady is not me, however.  Repeat:  not me.

My sincere thanks to Elizabeth Scalia the Great for inviting me on!