Oh, I forgot!

. . . Sed Noli Modo put up the interview she did with me a while back, for Catholic Speaker’s Month.  Check it out!

50 books: Sabbath edition

Yarr (that’s my “shamefaced pirate” voice), it’s Sunday.  Not supposed to conduct commerce on Sundays.  But if I skip a day, I’ll never get back on track, believe me.  So out of respect for the Lord’s day, for today’s book for the “50 books” list, I’m recommending a children’s Bible which is being sold used for under $2; so if I’m corrupting the Sabbath, I’m certainly not doing a very good job of it:

The Golden Bible, Old Testament, illustrated by Feodor Rojankovsky

We own approximately 523 children’s Bibles, and this is far and away my favorite one.  The illustrations are completely magnificent.  Unforgettable, every single one of them — lively, absolutely blazing with color, and bursting with the strange glory and tenderness of the stories.  Even the endpapers are full of fascinating detail.  If you want your kids to come to you and say, “What is THIS about?” then leave this Old Testament where they can find it.

This is an oversized, hardcover book, printed back when books didn’t shed their pages after being read by kids a few times.  I’m having hard time finding examples of the illustrations online (and of course our scanner is broken), but here is the cover of one edition, showing creation:

I wish I could find the illustration for Solomon, with the false mother calm and pale as death, dressed in dainty pastels, and the real mother so earthy and passionate as she begs for her baby.  I wish Rojankovsky had done a New Testament!  I guess it’s that old Inferno/Paradiso problem – -it’s so much easier to tell a compelling story when it doesn’t have a happy ending.  Not that the Old Testament doesn’t have a happy ending, but you know what I mean.

 

50 Books, Day 6, I think

Poetry!  We all want to have read it, but we don’t want to read it!  Amiright?  How about this:

The Rattle Bag edited by poets Seamus Heaney and Ted Hughes

Here is a great anthology to leave lying around.  It’s designed to surprise you.  It isn’t organized chronologically or by theme — it’s in alphabetical order of the poets’ names, so you can open it up and find ANYTHING (and there is a glossary and index in the back, too).  It isn’t horrifyingly thick, and the pages aren’t frustratingly thin.

Most of the poems are short, and most of them are great, but chosen to be a little more accessible to modern readers.  This doesn’t mean it’s a watered-down, pandering collection; it’s just been put together by people who know how to suck unsuspecting readers into enjoying something they might never have chosen deliberately.

It’s the perfect anthology if you’re intimidated by poetry, and don’t know where to start — or if you used to like poetry, but can’t get into it anymore — or if you read poetry every day, but are in a rut with your same old familiar favorites.

Guest Post! — 7 Quick Books

Hey, I know the world ended on Tuesday and everything, but  they can have my seven quick takes

when they pry them from my cold, dead hands.  By which I mean we never really planned to put the computer in this area, so there is no heat in my workspace.  My hands hurt.  Stupid winter.  I blame Obama.  And Ron Paul, Mark Shea, Jane Fonda, Ashton Kutcher, Burt Bacharach and effing overrated Joan Miro.  I’m sorry, what is that?  Is that a chicken, some tinker toys, and a piece of macaroni?  Wow, that’s nice.  Here’s a million dollars.

Today’s post was written by my fourteen year old daughter, who is just as cranky as I am, but who hides it better.  Hoping to diversify my “50 books” list, I asked her what her favorite book was these days.  She said, “Just a minute!” and dashed upstairs.  A short while later, she came down and casually tossed onto my desk two pages of single-spaced book reviews of her seven favorite books.  This is what she said:

1.  Leviathan by Scott Westerfield

An excellent alternate history sci-fi novel.  It takes place in Europe during World War I, but a Europe that is divided into two opposing forces:  Clankers, who have steampunk machinery, and Darwinists, who have genetically engineered “beasties” for performing everyday tasks.  There’s also romance, action, snappy dialogue, lovable characters, and amazing ink drawing in every chapter that will keep you turning the pages around the clock.

2.  The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

Despite being dead for several decades, Tolkien is still the reigning king of fantasy.  If you haven’t read The Hobbit or The Lord of the Rings yet, then now is the time to start.

3.  Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas Adams

Even more than his Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series, Dirk Gently and its sequel, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul showcase Adams’ ability to portray the insanity of normal people.  A lot of strange, screwed-up, and/or wicked funny things happen, and in the end it turns out that every one of them is connected.

4.  The Thief by Megan Whalen Turner

The plot is devilishly complex, and the main character is sympathetic and appealing from the very beginning of the novel.  There are two sequels which I have yet to read, but my cousin says they are actually better.  Inconceivable.

5.  A Dog’s Life:  The Autobiography of a Stray by Ann M. Martin

Despite common misconception, Ann M. Martin of Babysitter’s Club infamy is not a bad writer.  When she’s not writing about whiny, babysitting obsessed teenagers, Martin is actually a wonderful writer.  A Dog’s Life is one of the most bittersweet and touching novels I’ve ever read.  Luckily, it has a happy ending.

6.  The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Patterson

Realistic fiction about adolescents with troubled pasts is hardly my cup of tea, but Katherine Patterson is the only person who can make it readable.  Even wonderful.

7.  The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare

Kit is a girl from Barbados, and when she moves in with her Puritan relatives, she refuses to act like a decent Puritan girl and behaves as though she is still free as she was on her island home.  Not to sound sappy, but it’s really a timeless novel.

Okay, this is me, Simcha, again.  I have to say that I HAVE NOT READ ALL OF THESE BOOKS.  I know you’re supposed to be all up on what your kids are reading, but dude, I have nine kids.  That Leviathan one and The Thief make me a little  nervous (although not as nervous as I was when I thought she was telling me that she was reading Thomas Hobbes for pleasure.  I thought I had given birth to an alien). But I did realize that, even if my daughter is reading books she’s not supposed to be reading, she would be smart enough not to let me know that she’s reading books she shouldn’t be reading.  So I think this is a pretty safe list.

Happy Friday, and don’t forget to check out the other seven quick takes by people who probably had to actually do the writing themselves, ha-ha!

I was of two minds

Like a tree, in which there are three blackbirds, but one of them is actually just a regular blackbird.

On the one hand, yesterday’s election results want me to take everyone by the shoulders and remind them:  Hey, it’s okay!   We still belong to one family, the family of man.  Life goes on.  Obama is just a guy, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned from Donna Summer, it’s that there is no guy who can make life not worth living.

But seriously, here is a book which reminds you most gorgeously of the timelessness of human experience, which perdures with dignity no matter which clown is in the oval office:

The Family of Man by Edward Steichen and Carl Sandburg

This is the book version of an exhibit which collected over 500 photos from 68 countries, interspersed with illuminating fragments of verse and prose.  I looked through this book maybe twelve thousand times when I was growing up, and I think I remember every single image in it.  I consider this book to be an absolutely essential part of a basic education.  There is no message; it simply shows you what life is like.  It’s completely accessible, not overly arty — but never descends into cliches.  Magnificent.

On the other hand, there is this (WARNING:  uses the f-word):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=z2Q7YRDL90E

50 books, Day 2

For today’s book, I was torn between choosing something that would be appropriate for the election, and something that would take your mind off the election.  So I decided to go with both.

I know I’ve mentioned this one before, but seriously, you need to have this book in your house:

It Could Always Be Worse:  A Yiddish Folktale written and illustrated by Margo Zemach

This is the book that my five-year-old says is her favorite.  She reviews it this way:  “There’s feathers in the soup!  And he keeps on coming to the rabbi.  Sometimes he pulls his beard to think!  It was hilarious.”  That’s pretty much it.  A poor man lives in a one-room hut with his wife and six children.  They are so cramped and crowded and quarrelsome, he can’t stand it anymore, and runs to the rabbi for help.  And the rabbi gives him some very strange advice.

An amazingly compact little story, completely satisfying at the end.  It’s lots of fun to read (you know how some books just aren’t?  It’s like the authors have no ear; but Zemach definitely does) and the pictures are a scream.  The kids’ favorite part is when things get so bad that the moon comes in the window.  Warning:  There are some contextually relevant tushies involved.

50 Books Till Christmas

My son pointed out to me that it was 50 days until Christmas.  Being a cynical and mistrustful person, I didn’t believe him; but being an incredibly lazy person, I didn’t feel like turning my head forty degrees to the right to check the wall calendar.  I was also too lazy to open up the calculator on the desktop of the computer I’m sitting in front of.  I did, however, manage to Google “how many days  until christmas 2012″ and sure enough!  The little crumb is right.

So how’s about, for the next fifty days, I tell you about my favorite books. Fiction, non-fiction, art collections, poetry, picture books, board books, books you have been hunting for six days and then suddenly realize have been holding up the tippy end of the couch.  Books, books, books!

(illustration from Arnold Lobel’s Pigericks.  Argh, or possibly from Whiskers and Rhymes!  Sorry, I have to run out!  Both are great books, though)

If you care to buy one of them (or anything else from Amazon, as long as you click through the links on this blog), I will get a small percentage of the sale, which I have opted to receive in the form of Amazon credits, to prevent me from spending it all on Twinkies and gin.  Wait, do they sell gin on Amazon?  Probably not.  Which means I’ll be spending those credits on Christmas presents for the kids, to whom, in a rash moment, I promised that we would not be having an Imagination Christmas this year.

The first book is great for someone who wants to do some spiritual reading for Advent, but who doesn’t like doing spiritual reading:

The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis

It’s fiction, a sort of fantasy/thought experiment with a nod to the Divine Comedy.  The speaker finds himself in a dim and dismal land and nervously gets on line for a bus.  The bus turns out to be headed to Heaven, and everyone who gets off has a chance to stay there, if they wish.  We witness the ghosts (because Heaven is so bright and substantial, the bus passengers are flimsy and transparent, like smoke in that land.  Even the grass hurts their feet) meeting people they knew on Earth, who try to persuade them to give up whatever is holding them back from leaving their fatal sins behind.  Some do, and some do not.

So, this is good spiritual reading because Lewis hits home again and again as he exposes the foolishness and lies that we harbor in our hearts, leading us away from God.  But it’s eminently entertaining, easy to follow, fascinating, piercingly insightful, and moving.  And it’s short!  I would recommend this book for adults or for teenagers as young as 14 or 15.

I’m giving really short shrift to an unforgettable book.  What’s worse, I’ve used up about 30% of my book reviewer’s adjectives on the first day.  Oh well.

Go ahead, October. Surprise me.

My husband — my HUSBAND! — make me take out the part about how, every time Obama goes down in the polls,  he does the Dutch Oven on Michelle.  But the rest stands.

In other news, don’t forget to enter the apron raffle!   Just $3!  Ends tomorrow!

In other news, happy anniversary to my husband.  Fifteen years with you is proof that God is good.

I have six minutes free!

For Seven Quick Takes.  See if you can figure out which one got the shaft, minutewise.  (Hint:  all of them.)

1.  You guys.  We got cookies!

The generous and talented Kate Essenberg sent us dozens of completely gorgeous cookies.  I took pictures.  Adorable, hilarious pictures of the kids in various stages of astonishment and glee as they discovered what was in the box.  Well, after three days of running various diagnostics and patches and rewiring and whatnot, my husband has discerned that everything on our computer expired at the same time.  Or something.  So I can’t upload any pictures (and they probably kind of sucked anyway, to be honest, because we’ve been losing colors, one by one, on the monitor.  Everything is glowing in Radiation Sickness Peach right now).  So you will have to imagine these cookies, which are astonishing — full of delicately molded detail, some gilded, some glittery, and all sweet, tender and entirely delectable (which I wasn’t expecting, since they are so beautiful).

The kids paused for a moment in their wolfish devouring and asked why she sent them, and I said, “I guess she likes my writing.”  So they howled, “Well, KEEP WRITING, Mama!”

2.  I can talk with my mouth!  Also, if I have a microphone in one hand and a sheaf of notes in the other, I don’t nervously pick at my face and ears  in a way that fills the audience with revulsion.  So, I think my first official speaking gig went pretty well.  I spoke about forgiveness, and nobody visibly lost consciousness or lit themselves on fire to get out of hearing the whole thing.  If anyone who was at Murphy’s on the 25th has a copy of the video or audio recordings, could you let me know how I could get my hands on one?  I’m doing the same talk in Keene, NH, sometime in November, and would like to see what I need to work on (more enunciation, less pants-wetting, or what).  Many thanks to Fr. Jon Kalisch of St. Denis in Hanover for hosting so graciously!

Oh, ha, and this was funny: before the talk, Fr. Jon asked me what I most liked to write about.  I didn’t realized that he also asked my husband what I most liked to write about.  So when he introduced me, he said, “Simcha’s husband says that she enjoys writing essays that encourage people to be themselves.  And Simcha says she likes to talk about sex.”  And thus, I had the full attention of a roomful of college students drinking beer.

3.  I had the pleasure of meeting Dartmouth graduate Peter Blair, who is the editor ofFare Forward, A Christian Review of Ideas.  I left my copy in my husband’s car and keep remembering to get it only once he’s already left for work, so it’s been traveling around southern New England very busily for almost two weeks now without me.  But the bits I got to read were intriguing, and I love the idea of Christians (yes, including Catholics!) working together to produce something thoughtful and beautiful.  Check it out!

4.  Catechesis of the Good Shepherd!  If you have little kids and someone in your area offers Catechesis of the Good Shepherd, GO TO IT.  Commit identity theft to get on the waiting list for next year.  Do what you have to do.  We’ve only been to one session so far (it turns out that all the other parents got all fancy and showed up at the churchwhere it was being held, whereas we very reasonably spent our time hunting around the various buildings at the other church that we assumed it was probably at; and then after a while we went home.  So we missed the first one), but it is super duper.   It’s a Montessori-based program, and it is lovely.

5.  For the month of October, I’ll be posting at the Register only on Tuesdays and Thursdays, mostly so I can get caught up on my ebook (and probably audiobook), which is forthcoming, in the same way that the Parousia is forthcoming, like, okay, yes, eventually we all more or less believe that it will happen, but by no means would we be so presumptuous as to assume that we will see it in our lifetimes.  Humph.  So anyway, would you or would you not pay good money for an ebook called How’s Your Goop? And Other Burning Questions About Sex, Marriage, and NFP?  Or does the title need help?  I need help.

6.  Will is make you just shrivel up inside if I tell you about a craft that we did and it was fun?  Check one YES _____ NO ______

7.  We’re trying to think of something nice to do for our fifteenth anniversary.  We’ll probably go out to eat on the actual day, but we would like to do some kind of activity or day trip on the weekend, when we’ll “have” more “time.”  Bowling?  Canoeing?  Ping pong?  One anniversary, we tried to go to the adoration chapel and renew our vows, only to find that (a) it was closed, and (b) we couldn’t remember our vows.  But it was nice anyway.

Theology on Tap!

On Tuesday, September 25th at 9:00, I’ll be at Murphy’s in Hanover, NH, for a widdle Theology on Tap.  I will be chatting about forgiveness — what it is, what it ain’t, how to get started, and maybe a little about what’s holding you back.  I will not be yelling at anyone.  Probably my husband and baby Benny will be there, if you want to buy them a beer.  I would love to meet anyone who’s going to be in the area!

Oh, and I just got the latest issue of Catholic Digest, wherin you can find “34 Pro-Life Family Activities,” invented by me (and we even actually do some of them at our house).