Author: simchajfisher

Dr. Greg Popcak on marriage after baby

I’m putting together an article for Our Sunday Visitor about how marriages change after a baby is born — the good, the bad, and the things that need professional intervention (spiritual and otherwise). Dr. Greg Popcak gave me some wonderful information, and he has reprinted our entire interview on his blog. Here’s an excerpt:

Simcha: I assume you mostly work with Catholic couples. Is the strength of a couple’s faith a good predictor for how well they can work through their problems? This sounds like a softball question – like, “yes yes, of course when we are faithful, we will find life’s burdens light” – but I’m really curious, because I know that a strong religious faith doesn’t always translate easily or directly into good emotional health or strong relationships. 

Dr. Greg: You’re right.  In fact, many faithful couples who have more rigid role expectations may struggle more with birth than other couples.  If you tend to be of the mindset the God made men to do X and women to do Y and never the twain shall meet, you may tend to fail to be there for each other, take on too much for yourself, and make excuses for behavior that would be otherwise inexcusable.

Faith tends to be helpful when it is expressed, not as “rules to live by” but rather as “a call to be generous and understanding regarding each other’s needs.”  Babies have a way of stretching your comfort zones.  If your faith helps you deal with that and respond accordingly, both your faith and relationships will become healthier as you grow as a person.  But if your faith is mainly about having hard and fast rules to live by, you might not adapt as well to the unpredictability that comes with post-baby life.

Good stuff, with lots of practical advice — things we learned the hard way, and are still working on learning. Read the rest here.

I will post a link to the finished OSV article when it comes out; and also keep an eye out for Popcak’s newest book, written with his wife: Then Comes Baby:  Surviving and Thriving in the First Three Years of Parenthood  (Ave Maria Press–Nov 2014).

Summer Drawing Club starts now!

Sorry for the slow start, everyone! We are still in school, because we had so many snow days this year. I did get my book, and some of my kids (ages 14, 13, and 8) have agreed to join me. Lots of readers are planning to participate! I’m really excited.

Here’s a recap: a bunch of us are going to go through the book Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain to beef up our drawing and looking skills. The idea is that, while some people have a natural, inborn talent, just about anyone can learn to be a competent artist. People who follow this course typically see dramatic improvement in their drawing skills. Here are some “before and after” examples from the book:

 

It’s not a gimmick; it’s just system for learning how to think in a new way about what you see.  (There is a workbook available, but it covers the same material as the book, and it is not necessary to buy both. I have only bought the book.)

Every week, I’ll post pictures of our drawing results, and I will set up a blog link-up thingy, so anyone who wants to join in can provide a quick link to his blog (or Tumblr, or Flickr, or any other image hosting site), and we can all see each other’s pics — kind of a virtual drawing club. LOW PRESSURE. FUN. This is just meant to be a pleasant change from the things we spend our time thinking and doing every day. No criticism, just encouragement!

So, there is still time to order your book, if you would like to join in.

You don’t need expensive, professional materials – just regular paper, pencil and eraser will be fine. The first lesson includes a self-portrait, so you will need a wall mirror and a hard surface to draw on.

Read through the introduction and first chapter, and then do the exercises in chapter two. It says it will take about an hour to do all three drawings. Don’t worry about being a super duper artist! The point of these first drawings is to leap in, and to give yourself something to compare your later work to.

The first Summer Drawing Club Link-Up will be next Tuesday, June 24. I hope you can join us!

At the Register: Baby Got Backstory

MR. BAX AND HIS TOXIC BEANS. In this groundbreaking docufairytale, a race of strong, gentle beings lives undisturbed, practicing basic hygiene and relying on essential oils and whatnot to keep them in good health and systemic balance in their home in the clouds — until Big Pharma, headed by the nefarious Dr. Bax, dupes the gullible population on the ground into believing in “Magic Bax Beans” or, as they come to be known, “Baxeans.” Because of these beans, which grow and proliferate at a $u$piciou$ rate, the peaceful lives of the gentle giants are infiltrated and disrupted forever, and everybody falls down and dies.

If, for some reason, you wish you read the rest, you can find it at the Register.

Theologians: Yes, the baby came back to life through the intercession of Fulton Sheen

It’s official! Another hurdle crossed before canonization.

The Most Reverend Daniel R. Jenky, CSC, Bishop of Peoria and President of the Archbishop Fulton Sheen Foundation, received word today that the seven-member theological commission who advise the Congregation of the Causes of Saints at the Vatican unanimously agreed that a reported miracle should be attributed to the intercession of the Venerable Servant of God Archbishop Fulton Sheen. The case involved a stillborn baby born in September 2010. For over an hour the child demonstrated no signs of life as medical professionals attempted every possible life saving procedure, while the child’s parents and loved ones began immediately to seek the intercession of Fulton Sheen. After 61 minutes the baby was restored to full life and over three years later demonstrates a full recovery.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Bonnie Engstrom, the mother of that resurrected baby who grew into this happy, healthy guy:

 

Next up: the case is reviewed by cardinals and bishops, and then by Pope Francs himself.   Come onnnn, Fulton Sheen! Congratulatons, Engstrom family!

There, there.

It’s just part of aging; comes with the territory.

When she was just a little girl, I asked my readers . . .

What will she be?

 

 

What happened was, a compassionate friend sent me a “There, there” bottle of Tanqueray, and my five-year-old immediately got a fork and pried off the red seal. Benny wanted one, too. So she muscled open the fridge, found a bottle of wine and a fork. When I asked what she was doing, she struck this pose.

I feel like there is . . . something . . . in the future for this kid. But what? Will she be a pirate? Scourge of heretics? Doctor of the Church? Crazy fork lady? All of the above?

Because even morons can read the Declaration of Independence

. . . which is apparently more than Gawker is capable of. Here’s the headline:

Duck Dynasty Nephew Running for Congress Says Our Rights Come From God

Hurr hurr hurr! What a idiot! Where does he get off, spouting that religious crap when errybody knows the whole reason they started this country was to get away from religion!

So maybe I drank and slept and wept my way through college, but I do remember reading this:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, endowed by their Creator with inalienable rights…”

Not so self-evident anymore. Sorry, founding fathers. The best lack all conviction, while the worst /Are full of passionate intensity.”  And I can’t even tell which is which anymore!

PIC eagle headdesk

Days with my father

When I was growing up, everybody else’s father would happily (or so I thought) camp overnight outside K-mart to make sure their kids got one of the few remaining Cabbage Patch Kids in town. They would give them the best presents: Game Boys, Simon Says games, and of course the Barbie Dream House, with elevator and real bubbling hot tub. We never got any of these things.

Instead, my father gave us experiences. It took me a while to realize this was a conscious decision; and it took me even longer to realize what a great one it was. He would spend days and weeks planning out trips, making reservations, calling ahead to make sure everything was what he thought it would be, and of course parking in a safe place and then heading out first by himself to “reconnoiter.”

We would set out on long, long excursions with nothing but a few metal canteens of water and several packets of sugar wafer cookies. But when we got there, it was always something amazing.  And, unlike all those cruddy toys I wanted so much, they are something I still have, in my memory. In no particular order, here are a few of the gifts my father gave us:

PIC Alpine Slides
PIC St. Gaudens

PIC Polar Caves
PIC Fenway Park
PIC Queechee Gorge
PIC Peaks Island Ferry

PIC Hamlet
PIC Isabella Stewart Gardner
PIC Rollins Chapel concert
PIC The Cloisters

PIC Hood Museum
PIC Museum of Modern Art
PIC Mt. Ascutney

PIC Metropolitan Opera

PIC Fairbanks Museum
PIC Midsummer Night’s Dream

PIC Coney Island Nathan’s
PIC Covered bridge
PIC Big Apple Circus
PIC Hopkin’s Center Symphony
PIC Lake Sunappee seaplane

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy father’s day, Abba! Thanks for all the days.

New Evanglization WIN: A Cosmological Proof for the Existence of God . . . in comic book form

Got a few minutes? Take your teenagers , or your skeptical, meme-educated internet friend, or yourself through this simple, graphic explanation for why it’s perfectly reasonable to think that God must exist, and what kind of being we mean when we say “God”: Why God Exists: A Rational proof in graphic art form. It makes a heavy topic clear, and is written by a fellow who is thoroughly familiar with the dark alleys and dead ends that pass for logic on the internet. Here’s a little excerpt, where he’s narrowing in on the idea of an uncreated being:

He clears up common misunderstandings (Medieval people were gullible morons, right?) and defines poorly understood words (metaphysics means crystals and smudge pots, doesn’t it?). And it’s funny:

And yes, he covers the Flying Spaghetti Monster. This here’s the new evangelization, folks. Well done! More like this, please.

At the Register: What makes a good dad?

There are a good many variations on the theme of being a good dad. Some fathers emphasize self-mastery or hard work, some are more joyful and relaxed; some are more formidable, some are more approachable; some are more physical, some are more cerebral. What all dads have in common, though, is that their children are no accident. They were given to them, specifically and intentionally by God, because of the gifts they have and because of the virtues they need to cultivate.

Read the rest at the Register.

And I didn’t include this specifically in the post, but good daddies wear the beautiful, beautiful bracelets their daughters made just for them: