What’s for supper? Vol. 387 and 388: Water, water everywhere, and all the Fishers stink

Happy Friday! I didn’t get a WFS done last week because we were still on the road, and then, rather than unpacking, I spent the week personally unravelling. Something to do with kids moving out into their own apartments and me forgetting to refill my prescriptions, and 80% humidity and whatnot. 

And then the water stopped working. Damien tried replacing the well pump switch, and that didn’t work. The guys are still down in the basement as I begin to write, getting dripped on and battling hanging insulation out of their faces.

At one point they asked me where the actual well was, and I, who have lived here for fifteen years, suddenly did not know. There are two wells on the property. One is defunct, and they’re both completely overgrown by briars because we wanted to discourage the kids from playing on them and turning into a tragic headline. So I led the repair guys to the briar patch I thought was more likely, and this involved me tripping over a canoe and then also tripping over some shit-smeared duck eggs that were lying around on the ground because our ducks are even worse housekeepers than I am. 

Here they are, trying to eat a shoe. 

Anyway, we still have no water, but the good news is, I don’t know what the good news is. Tra la la, it’s just money. It comes, it goes. Even money you don’t have goes! At least we have some duck eggs. And a shoe. 

Anyway, we WERE on vacation on Peak’s Island off the coast of Portland, Maine, and it was VERY NICE.

I’ll just do a super quick run down of what we ate there, because it may interest you to know how a large family eats away from home without a big budget. The main thing to know is that we were staying on an island that is accessible only by ferry, and there is only one food market on the island, and that market charges . . . 

$12.39 for a little jar of mayonnaise!

I didn’t even want mayonnaise that much, but really! There was also no grill outside, because this grassy, breezy little island is understandably finicky about not having fires started on it. 

So I packed a lot of food! Sandwiches, pizzas, chicken drumsticks, a hunk of beef, ground beef, and hot dogs, fruit and frozen vegetables, ice pops, coffee and ice tea mix, and a bunch of cereal and crackers and snacks, milk, and two watermelons, and also two giant sacks of candy from the “je ne sais expiration dates pas” discount store. 

Next time, I will remember to bring Fisher-sized cooking pots and pans, and at least a few decent knives, and a pizza cutter. I did bring heavy duty paper plates, and ziplock bags and trash bags, and I packed all the food in laundry baskets, which were useful for other stuff during the week. 

SATURDAY:

We ate Market Basket pre-made subs while waiting for the ferry. And then we got on the ferry!

and got to the house and settled in.

I’m feeling super overwhelmed with photos, so this is lame, but I guess just please feel free to check out my Facebook page, where I posted all about our adventures all week. We climbed around on rocks, used a rope as a rappel line to get down to a little hidden beach, kayaked around the cove, went fishing, explored a dark and abandoned military fort, built cairns, found sea glass and pretty shells, visited the Umbrella Cover Museum, checked out a Civil War-era cemetery, and spent a day on the mainland and visited the Portland Museum of Art, and probably more that I’m forgetting!

Damien and I also decided at one point to take a “shortcut” around the perimeter of the island, rather than climbing up onto the road, and it turns out there’s a reason they built a road. Nice to know we still have the knack of goading each other into completely unnecessary stupid stunts. It was actually super fun and we giggled our heads off while almost plummeting to our deaths, and ended up emerging through the hedges into someone’s private garden party, oops.

And that was Peak’s Island!

So here’s what we ate: 

SUNDAY:

Aldi pizza (you can stuff four of those extra-large pizzas into one of those soft insulated Aldi coolers)

MONDAY: Oven-fried chicken, mashed potatoes, watermelon.
For reference, here is my usual recipe for oven fried chicken:

Jump to Recipe

But here is what I made, based on things that were in the beach house and things I could bear to buy at Marché de Priceless Mayo:
I made a thin batter of eggs, milk, cornstarch, salt, pepper, and cumin, and then rolled in crushed corn flakes and baked in a hot oven in melted margarine (cheap) and olive oil (at the house). Corrie helped with this meal:

and it turned out okay, not amazing, but fine. 

The mashed potatoes were instant from a box. I made lots and lots of chicken, and the kids had it for lunch, along with leftover pizza, for the next few days. 

TUESDAY: Beef “stir fry” and rice. I made a somewhat dubious marinade of soy sauce, white sugar, fresh lime juice, and pepper, and cut the beef into strips to marinate. Then I microwaved the frozen veg I brought, and kept them warm on top of the pot of rice while I cooked up the meat. 

Not ideal, but we were hungry and it was fine. 

WEDNESDAY: Restaurant food, yay! We took the Ferry into Portland and went to the Portland Museum of Art, then ate at some restaurant by the water, I forget what. I had a sandwich stuffed with fried clams that the kids insisted I buy because they had a funny name. 

Tittyleg Shorties or Bognipples or something like that. I don’t know why all clams have ridiculous names, but I’m not complaining.

 Anyway, it was delicious food and the staff was super friendly.

THURSDAY: Hamburgers, more chips, and the other watermelon. I have no regrets about bringing two watermelons in the car. 

FRIDAY:  we spent the morning cleaning the house and packing, hopped on the ferry at the last possible moment, gassed up and loaded up on snacks at a 7-11, and started the drive home. My AC broke at the beginning of the trip, so it was kind of a long drive with the windows down and no radio (because it was too loud), but the kids were good sports. 

We stopped and spent several hours at Hampton Beach, because I realized too late that most of the kids were really hoping for lots of sand and big waves on the same beach, which the island, for all its charms, simply doesn’t have. You either get huge, crashing waves on the windward side, which is rocky and dramatic and covered with wild roses and flailing mats of seaweed, or you have the leeward side, which is sandy when the tide goes out, but the water just laps mildly against you and it’s mostly pebbles. Also, it’s Maine, so your legs go numb in the water. Sorry, kids! Next time, we’ll go south instead of north. 

Anyway, we got our Relatively Big Beach time in,

and I actually fell asleep on the beach, which I’ve never done before.  Then everybody got giant slabs of fried dough, which tided us over until we got closer to home. Then I got lost, and my phone died, and the charger was in Damien’s car, and I had to rely on the kindness of strangers in Burger King, and then I realized I could just buy a new charger, and relied on the kindness of the gas station guy who helped me figure out which one to get. I thought I was having a fairly dramatic time getting home, but it turns out Damien had to stop several times and put more oil in his car, and then as soon as we got home, he had to fix a cracked oil something or other, so I guess he wins.

Anyway, it was lovely to be home, and the dog went absolutely apeshit. The cat, however, was furious, and has only just started talking to us again. 

And that brings us up to this week!

SATURDAY
Well-travelled hot dogs

Yeah, we cooked and ate the hot dogs I brought to Maine and back. They were the nice, expensive kind of hot dogs, and I kept them cold the whole time, so there.

I took Benny and Corrie out to a local street fair thing, which we thought we had missed this year, but we didn’t. Good thing we went, because it turns out Warner Bros legal department is not cool with you making a Harry Potter-themed street fair, even if you euphemistically call it “Wizarding Week.” So they got a cease and desist and I guess that’s the end of that! It was really just a vendorpalooza plus some light satanism anyway, and the sorting hat put Benny in Slytherin, so the heck with them. We got our chocolate frogs and our 3D printed dragons and the kids were happy. 

SUNDAY
Hamburgers again, grilled corn on the cob, chips

I did a little shopping, just to get us back in toilet paper and stuff, but I was sooo tired and confused and didn’t really know what day it was, so I only got a few day’s worth of food. I got pre-made hamburger patties and Damien cooked them on the grill, and he also grilled a bunch of corn on the cob, right in the husk. 

I did shuck it before I ate it. It really turns out nice that way, very juicy and sweet. 

MONDAY
Spaghetti carbonara, bread

People were feeling a little gloomy, so I cheered things up with duck egg carbonara

Here’s the carbonara recipe:

Jump to Recipe

If you look close, you can see that I didn’t stir it up fast enough, and the eggs went right ahead and scrambled themselves onto the pasta. Oh well! Still good!

TUESDAY
Terrible tacos

Just miserable tacos. I couldn’t find any of my seasonings, and I still hadn’t unpacked, and it was insanely humid, and things just went poorly all day. Oh well. 

WEDNESDAY
Chicken shawarma and stuffed grape leaves

On Wednesday, I bullied myself into imitating a functioning adult, and started some chicken thighs marinating in the morning, and then spent the rest of the day dashing around from one seemingly urgent task to another — buying paint, trying to install a new overhead light fixture, loading up on half-dead plants on clearance at Home Depot, ordering a paper marbling kit and and new bathroom exhaust fan, looking up how to make fresh mozzarella —  until Damien asked if I was okay. I stopped to think, and it turns out, not really! It turns out the drugs I take to keep myself on an even keel were actually working, and when I skip several weeks, things become less even! Why didn’t someone say something? 

Anyway, the shawarma was very tasty,

Here that recipe:

Jump to Recipe

and I made some yogurt sauce

Jump to Recipe

and cut up a bunch of tomatoes and cucumbers, and gathered feta cheese, store-bought pita and various olives. 

Then I sent the kids out to pick some grape leaves, because I got it into my head that we needed stuffed grape leaves. This inspiration didn’t propel me far enough to find the actual recipe I use, though, and I just chucked a bunch of stuff in rice (tons of fresh mint, salt and pepper, chicken broth, olive oil, and some green za’atar) and I also didn’t blanch the grape leaves. 

Corrie said she knew how to roll grape leaves, and that was good enough for me.  

Then I just shoveled them into the Instant Pot with some water, and squeezed a few lemons into it, and set it to cook for ten minutes. 

Does it turn out good this way? NOT REALLY. I mean they were good in their way, but this is not really a recipe, and I can’t really recommend it. 

HOWEVER, it was a great meal together, and I felt a little more like myself, having cooked something. 

Then, right before bed, the water went out. 

You said it, Hayao. 

THURSDAY
One-pan kielbasa, potato, and broccoli 

That was the plan, anyway, but I called the well people and they tramped all over the property and informed me that the thing that I have always thought was the well is actually the sewer, and they couldn’t find the well, even with  . . . some kind of device which I’m sure isn’t a dowsing rod, but which is designed to find your well.

Anyway, it didn’t work, and it wasn’t until about 45 minutes after they left that I got mad enough to find it myself. So that cost $300, and then I called them back to say I found it, and they said they’d be back tomorrow to do the rest, which is going to be about $3,000, or maybe $5,000, who can say. I called my homeowner’s insurance agent, and apparently we don’t have an entropy rider, so that’s-a no good. 

At least we have duck eggs. Which I would wash, if I had some water. But it could be worse! The well is apparently from 1982, and sometimes well heads from that era were buried, for some reason. So at least we haven’t had to use our fake money that we don’t have to hire an excavator to find the well! Yay!

Damien used the sump pump to fill the bathtub full of stream water, and showed the kids how to dip up a bucket of it and dump it into the toilet to make it flush. Then, and it is not clear how, exactly, but somehow, in a very police-involved shooting kind of voice, the toilet got broken. Only on the top part, though, so it’s not like we’re having a bad time here. 

Oh, anyway we decided to have Aldi pizza, because you can eat them directly off cardboard. 

FRIDAY
Grilled cheese

The well guys are here and so far, they have spent forty minutes weed whacking, and then they knocked on the door and said, “Okay, so WHERE is the well?” So I showed them. The ducks are absolutely amazed. We’re all amazed. Corrie is siting next to me on the couch, watching me write and telling me where I should have added a comma. So I’ve got that going for me, as well. 

The kid who moved out likes her new apartment, the kid who moved into the newly-free room is delighted with her new room, and we found the gorilla mask that Irene bought to wear to her first dance. See, water isn’t everything. 

And that’s my story! It’s not a good story, but I wasn’t sure I would ever get to the end of this post, but I did. If you’re here, too, congratulations. Excelsior. 

WP Recipe Maker #158184remove

Oven-fried chicken so much easier than pan frying, and you still get that crisp skin and juicy meat – chicken parts (wings, drumsticks, thighs) – milk (enough to cover the chicken at least halfway up) – eggs (two eggs per cup of milk) – flour – your choice of seasonings (I usually use salt, pepper, garlic powder, cumin, paprika, and chili powder) – oil and butter for cooking 1) At least three hours before you start to cook, make an egg and milk mixture and salt it heavily, using two eggs per cup of milk, so there’s enough to soak the chicken at least halfway up. Beat the eggs, add the milk, stir in salt, and let the chicken soak in this. This helps to make the chicken moist and tender. 2) About 40 minutes before dinner, turn the oven to 425, and put a pan with sides into the oven. I use a 15″x21″ sheet pan and I put about a cup of oil and one or two sticks of butter. Let the pan and the butter and oil heat up. 3) While it is heating up, put a lot of flour in a bowl and add all your seasonings. Use more than you think is reasonable! Take the chicken parts out of the milk mixture and roll them around in the flour until they are coated on all sides. 4) Lay the floured chicken in the hot pan, skin side down. Let it cook for 25 minutes. 5) Flip the chicken over and cook for another 20 minutes. 6) Check for doneness and serve immediately. It’s also great cold.