Bright side! Who’s ready to look for the bright side? I am.
Everyone in the world is at different stages of the pandemic, so it’s hard to tell if it’s the right time for this essay or not. But from where I stand, things are . . . maybe sort of kind of wrapping up? At least they look a lot more hopeful than they did this time last year. It’s been a while since anybody I know has DIED, so that’s awesome.
Here’s what I did. I made a little list of good things that came to us in this awful time, along with all the dire things we know so well.
The vaccine technology itself, for one. We’ve made huge leaps forward in mRNA technology, and we’re looking at being able to treat cancer, Zika, rabies, HIV, malaria, cystic fibrosis, hepatitis B, tuberculosis, and more, because we got pushed into developing this line of research. Of course half the population is choosing to put their own aged urine into humidifiers instead, but never mind! The technology will be there for those who aren’t . . . like that.
And there are other, less earth-shattering but nonetheless pleasant changes the pandemic has brought about. So many businesses finally figured out how to make online ordering and curbside pickup work, which is great for busy single moms, people with disabilities, people who don’t drive, etc. It sounds silly, but so many restaurants figured out that they actually have space for tables outside. It’s just nice.
Doctors and therapists have figured out that there really are some things you can do remotely just fine, and your patients do not need to schlep themselves across town and spend hours in a germy waiting room. Nobody wants to live their whole lives via Zoom — that was awful — but sometimes it’s awesome, like when you have six parent-teacher conferences, or when you’re a sick college kid and don’t want to miss a lecture, or when you’re a Catholic who’s never going to leave the nursing home alive, and you’re awfully glad the parish didn’t stop broadcasting Mass when the churches opened up again.
How about the idea that it’s lazy and selfish to stay home from work just because you’re sick? Did COVID kill that off? Time will tell, but I hope so. And of course we’re waiting to see if employers in general are going to be okay with continuing to let their employees work from home. And it’s been amazing to see essential employees flex their muscles, now that the world was forced to realize just how valuable they really are.
That’s all big, society-wide stuff. What about in our own family? Some things — like drawing pictures together, baking together, saying the Angelus together — was nice, but it came and then went when the novelty wore off. But the pandemic also foisted some changes on us that seem to have become a permanent part of our family culture, and I’m not mad.
Crowd-dodging skills. At the height of the pandemic, when we really didn’t know how contagious the virus was or how it was transmitted, I started doing errands at weird hours, chasing empty stores. It was a hassle, but it was more manageable than I realized, and the payoff was enormous, because it opened up huge swaths of free time on the weekend. We could actually relax and have fun on the weekends. It was like a fairytale. My goal is to do this every summer, and any other time I can get away with it.
Masks. Yes, masks. My family is 100% acclimated to the things. Of course it was COVID we were trying to avoid, but we dodged a lot of other viruses and germs at the same time — and avoided passing them along, as well. I do realize there’s a downside to having everyone wear a mask all the time, and I’ll be very glad when we can just leave the house with bare faces again; but now that it’s no longer socially odd, we plan to mask up every year for flu season when people are bunched together. (And yes, they are downright cozy in the cold weather. Sometimes people gather on the town commons to protest mask mandates. It’s hovering right around zero, so every day someone gets frostbite to own the libs.)
Bird-watching. I don’t know which I enjoyed more: Watching birds at the feeder, or watching my husband and adult kids charge over to the window to get a glimpse of a new bird at the feeder. We ended up with something like seven feeders by the end of one lockdown period, and it’s been immensely rewarding. We recognize not only the bird’s coloration and food preferences, but their songs, their eating habits, their manner of approaching the feeder and each other, and their general attitude toward life. I also took to making rich, hearty seed cakes that incorporated leftover stale snacks, which feels thrifty and satisfying. It’s been a great addition to our family culture.
Landscaping. We didn’t have a lot of strict quarantines, but we sure did spend a lot of time in our own yard, and that made me look for more and more spots to beautify. However else we remember the pandemic, it will be marked with hundreds and hundreds of tulips and daffodils that I planted obsessively when the world seemed very dark, in the fall of 2020 and again in the fall of 2021. Having that burst of color in my own little world next spring gave me such delight, I plan to keep adding to it. There’s never going to be a bad year to plant bulbs. My goal is to plant 100 every year from now on.
Being deliberate about friendship. Many people have had the painful experience of losing friendships because the pandemic and its politicization has polarized people so radically. There are some people I used to think were basically decent and sensible, and it turns out that, under the right conditions, they are actually . . . not. And I don’t want to be friends with them anymore, because it turns out they are terrible people. And there are others who have shown themselves to be valiant, patient, sacrificial, humble, and kind, and I will never forget it, and I want to be more like them.
And there are still others that I disagree with very vehemently about Covid, but we‘ve both been very careful not to talk about it with each other, because we value our friendship. That in itself has been sort of weirdly illuminating and heartwarming: Knowing there’s someone who cares about you so much, they refuse to talk to you about important stuff. Strange times. Anyway, for better or worse, the pandemic has given me new parameters for how to decide how close to remain to people, and while it’s not necessarily information that makes me glad, it’s useful to know. It’s been a sort of painful maturity.
How about you? Did you pick up any pleasant or valuable hobbies or habits because of the pandemic, that you plan to hang onto? I’m more than ready to find the bright side.
A version of this essay was originally published in The Catholic Weekly on January 13, 2022.
I started bagging my groceries at the car (put them back into the cart after scanning) instead of trying to do it at checkout, and that results in much better sorting so that when I get home, I can set one bag aside for the pantry, one with produce that needs washing, and put away the cold stuff first.
I also started wearing shoes in the kitchen after I realized I was spending more time working in there (we didn’t get any takeout for the first six weeks of shutdown), and it not only reduces arthritis pain in my feet but just makes me less tired.
Some time i think if i got any super power to find against the covid. I would definitely beat it up. It leading me towards depression. হাত কাটা পিক
I’ve stopped scouring the internet for information on Covid. I’m trying not to jerk my head up to see who just sneezed in public.
I continue to get within inches of the faces of the kids at school because masks plus mumbling make it impossible for some of them to be understood.
Life doesn’t seem more dangerous than it used to be.
My husband and I have switched. He is still working mostly from home and is doing most of the cooking and laundry. Now he asks me what happened at work. Strange. At times I have succumbed to saying, “now add a screaming baby and a toddler to that.” Mea Culpa.
I will cherish many of our Covid memories too. It was like a long retreat in many ways.
I learned I look like I’m a door dash driver. They always ask me that at restaurants.
Left liberal lockdown maskies have really started getting outed as these puritanical scolds. So that’s fun to be on the other side of that divide for a change.
The trucker protests in Canada have been a delight to read about.
Overall, I think I gained the ability to make choices for our family without worrying what everyone else was doing! It feels a little sad to admit that but I don’t think I realized pre-covid how swayed I was by others’ opinions. Probably 50% of our friends and relatives are vaccinated and take precautions and the other 50%… don’t. Knowing that I can’t possibly please everyone and need to make the choices I can live with has been incredibly freeing.
The other positive thing has been quitting social media altogether. It’s been interesting to see which relationships were only hanging on because of the ease of keeping up via Instagram and which are rooted in true friendship . On that same note, quitting Instagram also disconnected me from Catholic mom Instagram, which holy cow! What a mess. I’m VERY careful about what and who I read now, which is a positive change.
There’ve been some good things to come out of COVID restrictions for sure. One big one is that the masks do seem to keep the colds away and a couple of my asthmatics have been able to give their lungs some badly needed healing time.
In our house, Thursday nights are now Door Dash night! Generally Chick Fil A, but sometimes Chipotle or Wendy’s. We take a vote.
Mandatory parent meetings done via zoom. Thank you Jesus.
But there are some downsides too. From my perspective, living well needs to be balanced with living longer and (to me) living well means satisfying the need for human touch and companionship. I know many senior citizens who were literally begging their adult children to break the rules and see them in person. I’ll always see their families’ adherence to restrictions as cruel even though I think those families genuinely believed they were doing the right thing. We don’t discuss our different choices with each other. But now I see quite a few friends and relatives as good soldiers but not good people and I expect those same people see me as a cavalier, potentially murderous jerk who regularly crossed state lines to visit her elderly mother. But still we’re cordial. The long term effects remain to be seen.
I will most likely continue homeschooling post-covid. I don’t share your confidence that we’re at the tail end of this. We still have 2500 people dying each day which is only 500 less than this time last year. The biggest difference being that today many of the deaths probably would have been prevented by vaccination. But last June I thought this was essentially over, and given how wrong I was, I remain unconvinced at this point. But I know it will end on day. I’m really disappointed that so many employers in both the private and public sector are insisting that their employees return to the office. If the job can be done remotely, and if the workers are performing well, I think they should still be allowed to work remotely if desired. This would in turn but us in a much better position for the next pandemic. It just makes the world less crowded in general, which helps slow the spread of any future viruses. I understand the economic concerns, but remote workers utilize the economy in other ways, and I think the economy would eventually adjust. Not to mention the fact that it would cut down on pollution and waste.