By Simcha and Damien Fisher
Kari Beckman was going to build Veritatis Splendor, a village of Catholic “true believers” in the heart of Texas. Now, after acknowledging an illicit relationship, reportedly with Texas Right to Life head and Regina Caeli board member Jim Graham, she’s moved out of the property’s luxury ranch and back to Atlanta, and has stepped down as executive director of Regina Caeli Academy and Veritatis Splendor.
As for the village, one $3 million loan later, not a single structure has yet been built on the land, and the members of Regina Caeli across the nation are left wondering if their homeschool tuition fees and bake sale fundraising dollars paid for the grandiose Tyler, Texas project, or for any of Beckman’s other, more clandestine activities of the past year.
Beckman, who founded the homeschool hybrid Regina Caeli Academy in 2003, sent a letter to the members of Regina Caeli at the end of last week acknowledging “a terrible lapse in judgment with a personal relationship.” Multiple sources confirmed the relationship was with Jim Graham. Beckman and Graham are both married. Beckman said she immediately sought forgiveness through the sacrament of confession, and then, months later, confessed to her husband. She said that she and her husband then both went to the board of Regina Caeli and told them “what had occurred,” and then stepped down as Executive Director.
Shortly before she stepped down, the Board of Directors received an anonymous letter alleging Beckman had carried on an illicit sexual relationship with Graham. Graham was also, until recently, on the Board of Regina Caeli, but his name has recently been removed from that site, along with Kari Beckman’s name. Beckman’s husband remains listed as a board member. Three other board members are no longer listed on the site, and Nicole Juba has been named acting Executive Director.
Texas Right to Life is the organization that launched prolifewhistleblower.com, the tipline website that lets people report abortions in hopes of collecting a $10,000 bounty under the controversial new “Texas Heartbeat Act” (SB8), and Jim Graham has been instrumental in the Texas pro-life movement’s hard shift toward the right. The website has gone offline twice, and now redirects to the Texas Right to Life site, but does not currently function as a tipline. The law, which has undergone several legal challenges, has been unpopular even within some factions of the conservative pro-life community, some of whom view it as anything from distasteful to politically reckless to counter-productive.
Graham, who appears in a fundraising video for Veritatis Splendor along with Beckman, has been Executive Director of Texas Right to Life, which was founded by his father, since 1994. Neither Graham nor the media representative for the Texas Right to Life returned phone calls seeking comment.
“This is two heads of very Catholic organizations. We literally do hold ourselves to a higher standard. And to be lectured about virtue while this was going on . . . unbelievable,” said one Regina Caeli Academy parent and former tutor. She asked not to be identified, for fear of reprisal.
The parent is referring to the fact that Regina Caeli and Veritatis Splendor, including in the very video in which Beckman and Graham both appear, both explicitly framed their organizations as a refuge from the immorality of the secular world. Parents flocked to Regina Caeli in part because it emphasizes the development of personal virtues and traditional values like chastity and self-control.
“The fact that my kids’ tuition was funding their affair,” the parent said, and then attached a “vomit” emoji to their message.
“We essentially bought them a ranch.”
But it’s not merely a matter of spiritual hypocrisy that distresses this and other Regina Caeli families. The anonymous letter-writer told us they also filed two complaints with the IRS on November 12 asking for an investigation of Beckman’s possible financial misuse of Regina Caeli funds. The complaints accused Regina Caeli of “using assets for personal gain” and “questionable fundraising practices.”
As one RCA parent put it, “We essentially bought them a ranch.”
But the alleged financial malfeasance goes deeper than that. The letter-writer alleged, “Mrs. Beckman uses Regina Caeli as her personal bank account” and that Beckman hand-selected the board to do her bidding, and deliberately hid her financial activities from the families who supplied the money she allegedly spent. Regina Caeli’s most recent tax forms list their total assets in 2018 at $4.2 million, with $3.4 million in liabilities.
The letter to the IRS enumerates four major complaints involving Regina Caeli Academy and Veritatis Splendor:
-That Regina Caeli Academy employees were pulled from their RCA jobs to launch and raise funds for Veritatis Splendor;
-that RCA borrowed over $3 million from an RCA board member to finance the property for Veritatis Splendor;
-that the RCA board approved the purchase of a $45,000 Chevy Tahoe for Veritatis Splendor, and has been paying for its insurance, even though the vehicle does not serve Regina Caeli in any way;
-and that the property, purchased by RCA, contains a luxury lodge in which the Beckman family has been living for many months.
The complaint says:
“Fundraising at Regina Caeli was of the utmost importance. Families were required to fundraise in a variety of ways, and were always told that this fundraising was to support the education and mission of Regina Caeli. Of the $423,509.79 that was fundraised between Oct. 20, 2020 and May 21, 2021, how much of that was used for Regina Caeli? How much was used to purchase a piece of land in Winona, Texas so Mrs. Beckman could form a cult?”
The person filing the complaint also had further questions:
“When Regina Caeli Academy used travel and hotel rewards programs for training, campus visits, etc, who reaped the benefits of those massive rewards points? Were those put on Regina Caeli rewards cards, or Mrs. Beckman’s personal rewards cards? Did the Beckman family travel and vacation using those points?
“Is Regina Caeli going to provide Board meeting minutes for the Board meetings where Jim Graham was present as a member of the Board, while the affair was taking place?
“Is Regina Caeli planning to undergo a financial audit? If Mrs. Beckman had such a major lapse in judgement with regards to her personal life, what would prevent her from having a lapse in judgement in the financial affairs of the organization?”
No board member has responded to our repeated calls for comment. Kari Beckman, Rich Beckman, Jim Graham, Nicole Juba, and Regina Caeli and Vertitatis Splendor’s communications offices have not responded to our repeated calls for comment. Bishop Joseph Strickland, an outspoken booster of Veritatis Splendor, was not available for comment.
When Regina Caeli members were first abruptly informed that their school was now an umbrella organization for a quasi-religious megadevelopment in Texas, some complained.
One member said that she and her husband were assured that, at some point, the finances of Regina Caeli Academy and Veritatis Splendor would be separated, but that “these things take time.”
“When I and many other families expressed our surprise and displeasure at this being sprung on us out of nowhere, we were basically told, ‘It’s our organization and we can do whatever the heck we want, and if you don’t like it, there’s the door,'” one former tutor said.
Regina Caeli families were, however, offered the opportunity to buy land at Veritatis Splendor. On August 4, RCA families received a letter from Kari Beckman claiming there has been a “HUGE and overwhelming response to those interested in purchasing lots” which range in price from $90,000 to $140,000 and are between 2 and 5 acres. Beckman reminded prospective buyers that, while the lots are selling quickly, there is no need to build right away after purchasing one, and that lots may be purchased “for primary or vacation/retreat homes.”
The former tutor confirms that she knows just one family who invested $90,000 in Veritatis Splendor land, but said jokingly that the rest of her RCA friends had no interest in accepting Kari Beckman as the head of their homeowner’s association.
“No way, Jose,” she said.
Talking sideways
This isn’t the first time Regina Caeli has been accused of a lack of financial transparency. In 2016, a former RCA member filed a lawsuit alleging that, when he asked to review financial information so he could determine how the school was spending the money their group raised and solicited, the director responded that “it was not RCA’s ‘style’ to provide any financial information, other than the IRS form 990’s.” The suit alleges RCA then retaliated against the entire family for their inquiry. The suit also alleged that RCA ran afoul of Michigan charitable fundraising laws. The lawsuit was settled out of court.
While it’s rare for a member to muster a lawsuit against RCA, it’s common for members and former members to complain that their concerns go unheard, and that they’re routinely bullied into silence under the guise of christian charity.
The school explicitly forbids what it called “murmuring,” allegedly to discourage a spirit of gossip among the families involved.
“Conflict is viewed through a religious lens,” said one former employee. “Instead of taking [complaints] seriously on their merits, this spiritual lens means if you disagree, you’re not just wrong; you’re bad.
“It starts with totally appropriate conflict resolution based on [the book of] Matthew: Go to your brother, etc. Keep things in the proper channels of communication. As a first principle, this is good. However, that morphs into culture. There is this total obsession with not ‘talking sideways’ or gossiping. Don’t talk to anybody about any issues you have, from small to big.
“But most of the families are also employees. So if I have an issue, I only have one person I’m supposed to talk to, and their next person up is Kari, or one person down from up. There is a near obsession with, ‘Who have you talked to about this?’ If you’re mad, talk to that person. That’s good. But it morphs into a hierarchical obsession with being quiet,” the former employee said.
At the same time, the school exerted a tight micromanagement of its members — sometimes insisting on puritanical standards that contrast starkly with what members now know about Beckman’s private behavior.
The school cracked down on staffers who shared photos of themselves in tank tops on social media. There are bizarre stories of moral panic over innocent outings with even the whiff of immorality. A group of Regina Caeli families travelled together to see a production of The Nutcracker, and although it was not an official school outing, they had used the school email to communicate about it, and Regina Caeli heads considered the trip problematic because the tutus worn by the dancers were too short, and deemed the show “soft porn.”
The former employee said that she remembers how Beckman once saw a staff member post on social media about decorating her house for Christmas, and Beckman contacted her to chide her, saying that visible Christmas decorations during the Advent season could cause scandal.
This pervasive straight-laced environment has made the revelations of extramarital misconduct especially hard for RCA members to stomach. Several members recalled that, when they applied to teach for Regina Caeli, they were required to sign a statement of fidelity to the magisterium, and that, during their interview, Regina Caeli recruiters asked them if their marriage was canonically valid, and whether they use contraception.
“Apparently, the sexual ethics of one family was so critical to the culture of the organization, but the fact that the executive director is sleeping with a board member is something that can just be chalked up to spiritual attack,” said one former RCA family who had a position in national leadership.
Multiple sources told us they were willing to speak on the record, but only anonymously, because they feared social or even legal retaliation for what would be perceived as disloyalty. Some RCA families have become adept in creating secret groups to communicate with each under the radar. More than one source has expressed concern that their emails to us may be monitored.
Still worth saving?
While members are reeling from the recent revelations, many hope the good fruits of the school can be rescued from Beckman’s influence. Many parents have described the school as something of a godsend, allowing them both the freedom of homeschooling and the structure of the traditional classroom. Mothers of small children often teach with their babies and toddlers in tow, allowing them to be fully involved with their children’s education while leaning on a supportive and nurturing community.
But others believe the very structure of the program routinely becomes exploitative, and is, in practice, uncomfortably close to a multi-level marketing scheme.
In Regina Caeli’s program, paying members homeschool their own children for three days a week, using a standardized curriculum, and the school provides support and access to tutors and extracurricular activities. Parents who are also tutors receive a discount on the entire program, and all members are expected to fundraise and to recruit new members, in addition to paying tuition. Tuition, which covers two classroom days (for which uniforms are required), ranges from $2,800 per PreK student for a half day to $4,500 per high school student.
There are twenty-three RCA satellite schools throughout the country, and they are all run on precisely the same plan, down to minutiae of how to dress and how to have parties. In practice, a family of four children will tote up a bill of over $10,000 as a base, not counting curriculum or uniforms. Parents can knock that total down by several thousand dollars by working for minimum wage for what can end up being as much as sixty hours a week, not counting the volunteer and fundraising work the family is expected to provide.
As exhausting, frustrating, and dissatisfied as parents were, and despite how frustrated they became with the school’s lack of transparency over how tuition and fundraising money was spent, several parents reported feeling like they had no choice but to continue with the school. A family’s entire educational, social, and spiritual community would be at the school; and they have been told repeatedly that their children’s souls will be in danger if they attempt some other form of schooling. And even if they suspected that wasn’t true, they knew there would be reprisals if they questioned it.
“If you have your seven kids and this is their school, and their friends, the only way you can make it work is by working as a tutor,” said a former employee. “You get paid minimum wage plus a fat tuition discount, and the only way you can make it work is to work there, so you’re really afraid to rock the boat, because it will affect your children.”
The former tutor quoted above said that several moms have told her, “I feel like a battered woman, going back every year.”
A spiritual bouquet and a meal train for Beckman
But Beckman and her supporters have done their best to portray her as the victim in the current scandal.
She said in her letter to RCA members that keeping the secret of her relationship “left me feeling despondent and it began to take a physical toll on my mind and my body.”
She said, “I have been in therapy and have been receiving daily spiritual direction in order to get strong enough to face my shame. My therapist has diagnosed me with Complex PTSD due to the circumstances which led to my fall.”
She said, “I do not expect your forgiveness nor do I expect your understanding. I am struggling to forgive myself and to make sense of what I did. I am sorry this did not come sooner, but honestly, I was not in an emotional place to make good decisions.”
On October 25, RCA families and staff received an email from Nicole Juba, who had at that point asked for increased prayers for Beckman.
“As Mrs. Beckman has started her journey towards recovery, the RCA Board of Directors has become aware of a serious spiritual matter that is the underlying basis for her current physical and emotional suffering. Accordingly, the Board has asked her to take additional time away for both physical and spiritual healing and counseling,” the letter said.
They also requested a meal train for the Beckman family.
Many RCA members are less concerned with Beckman’s personal suffering, though, and more concerned with the fate of Regina Caeli Academy going forward. The anonymous letter writer has written a second letter to the board on November 14, urging them to divest themselves completely of Beckman’s influence.
“Although I am relieved to hear of her separation from the organization, there must be follow up from you specifying that her retirement is permanent and irrevocable. She should no longer have access to her email account. There is no need for her to supervise or have any role in the transition,” the letter said.
The letter calls for Kari Beckman’s husband Rich Beckman to step down as Chairman of the Board, because “many Regina Caeli families have for years believed that the Board of Directors is in place simply to do Mrs. Beckman’s bidding.” The letter writer believes that Kari Beckman is likely to attempt to continue to run Regina Caeli by proxy.
“Board members must be stewards of community trust. The Board has a fiduciary duty to the members of the organization – not to Mrs. Beckman personally. Can all the members of the Board claim they have always acted in the best interest of the mission of Regina Caeli?” the letter asks.
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Therapy – yeah – that’s the ticket.
Many families have left Regina Caeli because of Kari Beckman, this has been happening since the school first opened. Now, the school has the chance to flourish!!! Funny how God always seems to squeeze good from bad.
Kari Beckman interviewed our family in 2013 for my children to be admitted in RCA. At the time, I left the interview feeling like a very inept mother, as she let me know she had 8 children and they didn’t have TV. She continued to grandiosely broadcast her superiority as a mother and business woman and Catholic. She headlined all the things she accomplished as a real estate mogul, in an elevated tone, while talking to my husband, as though I didn’t exist and I wasn’t in the room sitting there. She projected that she was above others, and that her faith and conversion experience is what brought about the financial blessings of her real estate success.
To read that she has been diagnosed with C-PTSD, is so acidic. She is a narcissist. She has no empathy, and a grandiose controlling ego.
I have C-PTSD, and that is the result of narcissistic abuse, whoever is her therapist is getting paid to tell her what she wants to hear so that she will keep paying him/her. This is disgusting for her family, the real victims.
I wrote this because the people at RCA need to read up on manipulative personalities, which are cluster B group. She is a narcissist, which is basically a Judas.
She is profiting monetarily off of the spiritual desert we see in postmodern times. She is profiting off of the empathy of others to gain personal power, and she wants people to feel sorry for her, when in reality she has no conscience, or in fact a very dull one. She may have felt glee for the pain she caused her husband or nothing at all from the affair; she only felt guilt for the harm in her reputation and the harm it has done to her position of power- that’s the only pain a narcissist feels. Her husband knows she is a narcissist and so do her children. They are the ones who will have C-PTSD from this. She actually watches people and takes in their reactions. She knows how to gather sympathy from poor unsuspecting victimized supporters of her operation.
She is malignant- so much so, that she is broadcasting having C-PTSD. This is terrible for people who actually have this condition. C-PTSD condition comes from being the victim of psychological narcissistic abuse, not the perpetrator.
I speak from a standpoint of being victimized by a narcissist, and they use religion for personal power. They despise the cross. They are self-seeking, and feign intimacy. Narcissists are incapable of compromise. They are incapable of submitting to another’s opinion or demands.
Reading that she was diagnosed with C-PTSD is going to stigmatize those who actually live with this, and it is the result of being raised or married to a narcissist like her. Kari Beckman has narcissistic personality disorder, NPD, and I hope her family gets treatment for their C-PTSD.
As someone whose mother had NPD, and as someone who had close contact with Kari Beckman for one very miserable year working as an admin at an RCA center, I think you’ve probably nailed it. I lost my narcissistic mother recently, and I’ve been shocked to discover that her death didn’t free me emotionally the way I thought it would. I’ve really been struggling, and the RCA revelations last week have troubled me deeply, as I recall the year wasted trying to please a narcissistic leader and her cultish minions, and how severely it impacted my family. It was years ago, but I’m still angry about the fallout. My sole consolation has been reading the multitude of comments from others who experienced similar treatment at centers across the country. I always suspected that it had to be as bad at other centers as it was in ours, but Kari insisted that ours was the only “problem” in an otherwise perfect organization.
I am sorry you weren’t released from your prison when your mother with NPD passed. You probably are suffering from C-PTSD. I want to say that I’m on a similar path, and I’ve spent tons of money and hours in therapy, only through the grace of God and lots of prayer. Having C-PTSD is a personal prison because narcissists mirror to you that you are the problem. Kari Beckman made everyone believe they weren’t holy enough because they let their kids wear tank tops or watch Disney movies. This is called narcissistic projection, and empaths, like you and me, feel like we are not enough, or we feel defective. This is covert manipulation. Empaths suffer from C-PTSD because we love people to be loved in return, and NPDs see people as pawns on a chess board- or they see life as a game of poker, reading people in order to see what they can get from them for free. Loving others to feel loved is vulnerable and natural. Narcissists despise the vulnerability and create a false mask to mirror a relationship, they mirror empathy only with an end goal in mind- it’s psychological control. They are covert aggressors or the manipulate others with hidden aggression. Living with them is like walking in a house of funhouse mirrors- they way they reflect to you who you are. Just writing about it makes me nauseated.
If you can find a therapist that specializes in highly sensitive people (empaths) and narcissistic abuse- you will start standing on your own two feet, cutting the strings of manipulation your mother tied you up with years ago.
Dr. Ramani on YouTube is a good starting point.
Books I recommend for healing:
“In Sheep’s Clothing” by Dr. George Simon, Jr.
“The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Dealing with Toxic People” by Shahida Arabi, MA
“Enough About You, Let’s Talk About Me” by Dr. Les Carter
I send you love and strength. We live in a culture of narcissists- they are everywhere, and you can’t let them know you know, because they will fly into rage. You can’t throw rocks at glass houses- which might be why Beckman got the C-PTSD label. Her therapist might see that she can’t handle the truth… just sucks for those who actually have it- we bear guilt and shame for things we never did. Narcissists just can’t bear the consequences of being held accountable. They don’t have shame or guilt- the shift blame upon others.
Pray to St. Jude- he has C-PTSD also. He bore the name of the traitor, and even in scripture there are parts of the Gospel where we can’t distinguish which Judas they are referring to. He had to change his name and wear the Holy Face of Jesus to keep from being gaslit that he was the traitor. He knows the pain of narcissistic abuse. He is the patron saint of the impossible for so many reasons.
Jesus loves you- projected warts from your mother and all. He knows they aren’t there, but you may not.
Thank you, truly, for all of this information. I definitely will pray to St. Jude. I will pray for your continued healing, as well.
Thank you for sharing!! You are very Courageous to share you story and Have excellent instincts- You speaking out will help soo many others I think you will find that you are not alone with your experiences with Mrs Beckman and Culty culture that RCA became –
I truly believe God brings what is done in the dark to light -He creates a storm to clear the path for the truth !!
This is a excellent resource to support your path of healing from narcissistic abuse website https://margalistherapy.com/
Book a must read very helpful and empowering !! https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1442238321/ref=dbs_a_w_dp_1442238321
Thank you again for sharing ❤️🙏
Concern Catholic- Thank you for your resource and book! I am constantly learning more- I want to share that about two years ago, I heard a sermon that, “Justice is not revenge; justice is the truth.” God led me on this path of learning, and it has been the map to freedom from my prison.
As a survivor of abuse who was on disability with C-PTS for years, I agree 100% with what you say. Thank you.
I am sorry, but this is defamation and detraction, even if there is truth. This is unchristian and inappropriate.
I drove out to the Veritatis Splendor property this morning, and must tell you that you have received incorrect information. There are, in fact, several new structures since I last visited in July, several more in progress, and a bustling atmosphere with building materials and utility supplies coming in. Furthermore, the ranch house where the Beckmans lived is nothing close to a luxury home. It is more like a nice suburban tract home. Should you not verify your facts before you publish them, especially in an emotional situation?
I can confirm this. I live about a mile from the property. Construction crews are working and I saw a load of building materials delivered about 5 hours ago.
FALSE I work on site, There is not a single structure other than the transformation of the side of the original lodge into a chapel. No other structures have been even started, I am on site and will verify this to anyone with factual proof. Why give false information???
There are 12 homes currently being built.
I know families who live there presently. I attend Mass in the Oratory chapel as I live within a few miles of VS . It’s quite beautiful.
Thank you, Mr. Sloane. The truth must be told.
Mr Prats
It’s no longer ‘the truth’. Please update-
There ARE houses in VS, an office and parish hall space, and a chapel. I attend Mass there regularly. The priest there offers classes to homeschooling families. https://piadomustyler.org/
I knew within 1 day of starting the program that it was a cult. A few months later I saw an article in a good Catholic publication about cults and how even seemingly good Church groups can become a cult. RCA checked every category.
I stayed because I liked the tutors at my center and our CCE shielded us from most of the worst dictates on the kids. (There were supposed to be assigned seats- and assigned conversations!- at lunch, we did not follow this)
Overall I just pretended that Corporate didn’t exist. They were truly toxic.
Oh my gosh! Yes, the assigned seats and assigned conversations at lunch. My upper school daughter hated that. The only things they were allowed to talk about was school work! It was horrible for her. You were lucky that your CCE didn’t follow that practice. Ours did, as well as all the other corporate mandates. It just became too much.
My kids, all in elementary, are at one of the newer satellites. This is their second year. I’m trying to figure out whether it would be less damaging to them to wait until summer to quit; or whether I should pull them out now (viewing the contractual obligation to continue paying fees as a sunk cost).
There are some arguments against pulling them out right now. The main is the disruption to their education. Also, they’re too young to know about any of this, thank God. I’m not concerned about Beckman’s adultery per se (though of course it raises questions about her character generally), nor even about the allegations of “misuse” of RCA funds to pay for other things. I considered and accepted that risk when I signed up. Further, I know at least half the parent-teachers personally — they’re good people, a couple of them saintly. My kids have no direct contact with corporate that I’m aware of, only with these good folks.
OTOH, the main argument in favor of pulling out NOW is the risk of the abusive atmosphere of corporate filtering down to the teachers, who will take it out on my kids. A second is whether my kids will ask me, when they’re older, why I didn’t pull them out immediately on becoming aware of these allegations. A third is that, even if the environment at my satellite was non-abusive up until now, it will get worse as the organization flounders. (The Board is half the size it was in September 2020. This is not a sign of a thriving organization.)
I offer these thoughts to anyone else making this tough decision. I would appreciate any further thoughts, since many others must be thinking this way. God will make it clear. Either way, I doubt we’ll be signing up for 2022-23. I would be more inclined to do so had they not chosen an insider to replace Beckman.
My recommendation is to stick with it and see if your co-op can just do some restructuring
Our co-op parted ways with RCA a few years ago
We just re-formed without RCA, and we’re thriving. You probably have great parents, tutors/instructors , and students in place. The curriculum is solid. The only flaw was the management structure – Kari and her people.
If you have anyone with a hero worship of Kari, though (which appeared to be some odd Regina Caeli thing), you have to kick those to the curb. Kari had bright, talented, hardworking, under appreciated people working directly or indirectly for her and looking up to her, but they all have terrible personal judgment and can’t be in charge. Make that update, re-empower your administrators and tutors and you’re golden.
I’m replying about 3 months late to this, but I’m curious to hear more about how your local co-op broke away from RCA. I think the idea of what they’re doing is great, but I see and hear so much about how bad and micromanaging the administration is (even with Beckman out). Plus tutors keep leaving because the pay is so bad (even though they charge us, per day, similar rates to a regular private school).
Are you able to give me any tips on how your group broke away from RCA? I’d be very interested to hear. I think there’d be great interest in my city.
I am curious what you decided. I am a former local admin. My kids were older, and they (as well as I) were traumatized by being there, and by being admin kids. I do believe things will be much better under Mrs. Juba.
Why is no one looking into her compadre Lisa Wheeler? She is just as sketchy just in different ways. Community’s still being built and religious moving in…. This project was her idea…same as the giant catholic conference they all hosted to raise funds. Probably tax free too.
If hell had a blog, this would be it. Strickland has the Faith. The vaxx is a blood poison. The vaxxed are dying en masse. Shea hates Goodness and spins it as evil. Vigano is telling the truth about the scamdemic. Shea can’t write a non-lie. He is the devil’s mouthpiece.
John – is there any American “Catholic” conspiracy theory in which you don’t indulge? Or did you run out of space?
Or has the 5G got control of your brain?
I’ll take things that have nothing to do with the article, the authors and the topic at hand for $500, Alex.
Mark Shea is definitely suffering from TDS…but Vigano is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Actually, that’s saying too much. He’s just trying to cover his own negligence.
I was so excited when RCA came to my area, but after joining the RCA FB group for my area, going to a meeting about it and looking at what they demanded for school, I decided not to do it.
I got a bad feeling about it from the get-go, there was a lot of pressure to sign up NOW and I felt that the price was very steep when I could pay less to send my kids full time to a certified Catholic school, but when I mentioned that, I got lam-blasted for the comment.
I’m very glad I decided to skip this, as a person married to a non-Catholic, this would have made him even more against Catholicism if we had joined.
It’s a shame, I really wanted a Catholic homeschooling group with solid, wonderful Catholics.
Sounds like a cult to me.
We went to RCA when it first started in Texas. The families that started there were amazing and holy. Kari Beckham was the issue and not the local families. We had such a scary and cruel experience. We got a certified letter by Kari Beckman’s attorney threatening suit because we asked ,two days after signing a contract, if we could be let out of the upcoming school year. We could no longer afford it. They had taken away my tutor job for no given reason and gave it to someone else and therefore the tuition was beyond our means. We had actually suffered a horrible tragedy that same year and truly could not afford the tuition and when I explained this to Kari Beckham she told me it was not her problem and then her attorney sent us a certified letter threatening suit for a years of tuition for five children. There was a waiting list that year and so I knew we were not taking away from the financial stability of the school. I had even offered to find another family to take our place that same school year and our only response was… speak to my attorney. It was a scary time for my family and Kari Beckman was at the center of it… she preached charity to our children and yet her actions were so cruel. My heart breaks for all the beautiful families involved, just trying to raise holy children. However, she is a different issue.
I have known the Beckmans and many families who attend the original school for many years. My primary concern in all of this is for the souls of her children and those who attend the school. This is true scandal, committing a sin so severe and hypocritical that it truly risks dozens or even hundreds of people losing their faith because of it.
The only way out is a penitential response proportionate to the magnitude of the harm, that is, for Mrs Beckman to live a private penitential life for the rest of her life; to remind every parent and child involved that our faith is in Christ Jesus, not in any human person; and for the schools, if they continue to exist, to divest entirely from any involvement with Mr or Mrs Beckman or anyone else who knew of the scandalous financial and/or sexual behavior.
The adultery, while salacious, isn’t the real scandal here. The real scandal is the ongoing abuse that has been revealed now that the abuser’s reputation has been tarnished by adultery. Read the article and the comments here. Folks in RCA didn’t feel they could come forward about the spiritual, emotional and financial manipulation until their abuser was shown publicly to be a fraud.
This quote is so revealing: “If you have your seven kids and this is their school, and their friends, the only way you can make it work is by working as a tutor,” said a former employee. “You get paid minimum wage plus a fat tuition discount, and the only way you can make it work is to work there, so you’re really afraid to rock the boat, because it will affect your children.”
This is a high-control group. I hope the families being manipulated here can now find a healthier social and religious community.
Amen. This comment gets to the heart of the matter. Leading little ones astray is a grave matter. Families’ trust has been betrayed. Souls are at stake. Those involved must do the right thing now before more damage is done.
Just to be certain that no one believes the danger to souls caused by this scandal is hypothetical, I can attest that this, combined with a number of other similar situations, has put another nail in my coffin of cynicism. The thing may be nailed completely shut soon.
As a former RCA tutor, I can say that the level of control from the top was crazy. One of the first things we were told was that if we have *any* problem with the school, we should not spread gossip or even talk to our coworkers about anything negative regarding RCA. The rules for the students were extreme too – if a student was caught with a cell phone, the phone would be confiscated by the school for the duration of the school year. It is a very manipulative environment, and I’m just sorry for the good families who are affected by this.
Now that’s a lie. It’s taken for the day and returned to the parent after school hours. Sheesh! Can we find a shed of truth in the comments section everyone once in a while? Guess not.
Dear “Parent who really *thinks* they know”…Um, she’s absolutely 1000% correct. My son had *TWO* cell phones confiscated and they were not returned until May per the handbook rules! In fact, after the 2nd one, he was threatened to be expelled all b/c his FLIP PHONE dinged during study hall in his backpack and his boss was requesting if he would be able to work a shift. Neither time was he actually even USING his flip phone before it was confiscated but the fact that he brought it “on campus” violated the rules and it was kept for the remainder of the year!
You signed the contract with complete and full knowlwdge of the rules.
While I was a student at the Detroit center, the policy was (and still is, to my knowledge) to confiscate the technology for the duration of the entire school year – and we were told this was a policy directly from corporate.
My friend had their phone confiscated for an entire school year while their mother was in the hospital battling cancer.
There’s your “shed” of truth.
That’s not true. It was in the school handbook that we signed that said ANY electronic device brought to center were confiscated for the year. I do t know about the last two years, but that was the policy for the two years before that. My husband almost pulled us out because of that, and some similar over-controlling policies, and our kids don’t own electronic devices. I wish he had and we hadn’t had the two years there.
The administration openly bragged about the time she confiscated an iPad that a kid brought to school – it was his dad’s work iPad, but RCA kept it for the year. Because that’s how dedicated they are.
If you check the rule book, it does say for the year. I have seen children write tearful letters after a half year to get it back for the holidays and be denied.
Not a lie. I work as a tutor. We are told from the beginning that if a student is caught with a cell phone that it will be confiscated and returned at the end of the year. This is a policy. Your CCE may have ignored that policy, but the REAL policy is that it will be returned at the end of the year.
As of Nov. 16, all comments will automatically go into moderation and must be approved manually. I have many other responsibilities besides monitoring this comment box, and may not be able to approve your comment immediately. Thanks for understanding. Please note that if you post comments using under a name maliciously intended to deceive, you will be permanently banned.
Fuck off lmao
Are you going to update this post and your FB release with the new information? Mr. Beckman is stepping down, the board is seeking nominations from RCA parents and staff for new board members, and Ms. Juba is now Executive Director. They state they will have an independent financial audit and promise to provide periodic updates to increase financial transparency. And, they announce VS is now completely separate from RCA.
Can the Fischers personally testify they have seen evidence that the 2016 lawsuit resulted in a settlement to the defendants? This is important as saying so conveys that the plaintiffs’ case had merit. The case was dismissed after essentially just getting going, arguing about the extent of each side’s discovery requests.
There is plenty of verifiable dirt here for a journalist to dig into. You are heavy on rumor and allegations and have so many anonymous sources, I can’t even tell how many people were interviewed for this article. In that regard, it does read like an In Touch “article”. You also don’t seem to interview any sources other than disgruntled ex-employees or families. Are any of your sources still attending RCA centers? You could get an anonymous review from a current family or two, to round out the perspective on your article.
FWIW, I was never asked if I use contraception in my family interview this year. Reading through the 2016 lawsuit pleadings, I can tell the company has since made several operational changes for the better. If any good things come out of this scandal, I hope that increased financial transparency will be one of them.
“Isn’t Laura actually Kari Beckman?”
That’s what I thought.
Or the Laura who founded the curriculum program used by RCA?
The 2016 Michigan suit absolutely ended in settlement payments being made. I was closely involved with leadership in the organization at the time and I know that to be a fact, although I was not privy to the amount of the settlement because of the confidentiality agreement with respect to the settlement.
I would also like the “anonymous” source to make themselves know! They want to bring stuff out into the light, Let’s do it!!! Bring everything out into the light, what Kari Beckman has done wrong & who is accusing her of each thing… Christ owns what’s in the light!! Satan is the king of dark, he lies, kills & destroys… he is loving all this division… let’s meet at the foot of the cross & be United as the sinners we are, broken & flawed! Christ is merciful & HE alone is our Savior!!
Is Ms. Fischer going to update her article and FB release with the new information from this morning’s email? Mr. Beckman has stepped down, RCA is now completely separate from VS, and the board is now seeking nominations from RCA families for new board members. Ms. Juba is now the Executive Director. The Board will “initiate an independent forensic audit” and promises to provide periodic updates to increase transparency.
How do you know the 2016 lawsuit was settled out of court? This is important. Saying it was settled out of court conveys the impression that the plaintiffs case has merit and defendants admit it, essentially. There is nothing in the docket to suggest anything other than the case being dismissed, so the only way Simcha can assert it was “settled out of court” is if she has personal knowledge of it, presumably from the Kruses themselves, who may not be able to talk about it publically as a condition of their payout. If I were her, claiming to be a journalist, writing this article, I would only feel comfortable saying that having seen evidence of a payout to the plaintiffs. If she hasn’t, then how does Ms. Fischer know there has been a settlement?
How many persons were interviewed for this report, from how many different centers? I can’t parse out how many anonymous sources you have here. It does read like a InTouch article. “A source close to the couple said…” “A close family friend who wished to remain anonymous said…” “A person in the know…” This is weak.
Scandals are bad enough without sloppy journalism making them unnecessarily worse. You have plenty of dirt; let’s just have the verified dirt. You’re heavy on innuendo and rumor, and have not provided any interviews with any employees or families who aren’t disgruntled whistleblowers.
FWIW, I was never asked if my husband and I use contraceptives this summer in our family interview. Reading that 2016 case, I note that the organization has since made several operational changes, all for the better. I hope that the company continues to improve its interior corporate culture and hope that no evidence of financial misdeeds come out.
As a former RCA tutor I can say that the quotes from the tutors are 100% accurate. RCA became the cult of Kari Beckman. The financials were always sketchy and she controlled everything in each center, right down to how you set up the classroom. Her answer was always “this is how we do it in Atlanta”. And boy, don’t ever disagree with her . I made that mistake. All that being said, the concept of RCA was great and there were great families involved.
They usually don’t in “secret government investigations.” Note how the subjects of the article decided not to respond to questions. They knew what the subject matter was, but declined to take the trouble to speak to the authors. That tells you a lot. It may even suggest the subjects had enough integrity to not falsely deny what they did.
My goodness, the comments on this are unusually spicy.
I responded to one in jest then kept reading…I regret adding fuel to the dumpster fire.
Excellent article, as usual.
You can try Aiden down on 42nd, but his stuff seems poor quality– I always barf through the high.
Prayers for the families affected by this. I hope that their local communities can work with their dioceses and form their own group with the guidance of the Church. A year or two back I remember reading about this organization, it did seem a very costly as a hybrid option.
Where I live we have a local parish school where I live, many of the teachers are mothers of the students or former students. The students are getting a religious community, and the school gets the support of the local parishioners and past alumni across the county. The school also gets oversight from the Archdiocese and other administrative supports
I am sure it’s possible to create structure with the Church for those who want to continue the hybrid format.
Former student of RCA here. My experience with the school is that it is full of good people and faithful families who are looking for a better way to educate their children. I am grateful for my experiences there and it gave me many academic skills that I still use today. But at the same time each of these quotes hit home. The curriculum was biased and unchecked, the means and reason for discipline were disproportional and unhelpful, and the rules meant to bring people together only served to isolate us. I could write a book on the kind of toxic community that is bred inside of RCA schools. As a student I only encountered part of this culture, but I could see the effects it had on the adults in my life and how it hurt them. It enrages me that the founder of such a “moral” school has the audacity to present RCA as a safe haven only for it to be a cult to push her own harmful agenda down the throats of CHILDREN and take financial advantage of our parents. I would say I feel hurt and betrayed but even without this revelation I felt this way about RCA. To this day I am still sorting through the emotional damage that place did to me, and I know for a FACT I am not the only one. Not by a long shot. I hope this conversation about RCA continues and people learn for themselves how truly cultish and medieval this place was from the start.
As a former RCA student I completely agree with this comment. I attended RCA my whole life preschool to 12 grade. The individual families were amazing but the administration was extremely toxic. The amount of emotional baggage I have from RCA is unreal.
So heartbreaking…..as someone who has been part if this program I feel bad for all of thr moms who day in and day out gave everything to make this program work foe their children. They trusted her and even though we were wronged in the past by her here in the Michigan location, we forgive here.
I pray she sincerely gets right with christ and her family. This is so sad.
A bummer to read about Kari, but we all know that good fruit from an organization can still be abundant even if the leaders publicly and dramatically stumble. All I can say is from today’s Thanksgiving presentation by the RCA at our Kirkland, WA location the teachers and tutors are wonderful, and my grandchildren who attend there are happy. From what I can see the other children attending there are happy also. My wife and I homeschooled our children, but it was my wife who did the major effort. I wish RCA’s hybrid program were available to us 30+ years ago! In the meantime let us keep Kari, her husband & family, and all those affected by this scandal in our prayers for resolution and recovery.
One of the special gifts and particular insidiousness of the organization is perpetual growth, whereby (not dissimilar to an MLM) new people are brought in, sold on the vision and who are innocent to the perils. Absolutely – the tutors and kids and families at your new center are wonderful. They always are. That’s not the point. The point is that the leadership was so toxic that literally hundreds of families have left with diverse but analogous stories of emotional and spiritual abuse that usually harmed moms the most.
Matt,
Here you go, on the record: RCA provided something beautiful for my family (9 years in RCA) and much of that due to Mrs. Beckman’s hard work. Thanks, Kari and Rich and the whole board! It was an awesome run, and I believe RCA will transcend this moment. I wouldn’t blame them though if they skipped reading all this blather.
Haters are on here saying “they’re brainwashing kids, it’s a cult $5k scam”, the scam is the involuntary public school district taxes, wasted on crap thinking and institutions, hemorrhaging kids, searching for alternatives like RCA if they can find it.
Welp many graduates of rca I went to have left the church and kari beckman called our pastor the devil bc he questioned their business practices. So uh, be careful whose side your taking. Just because you didn’t have a bad experience doesn’t mean it’s not a horrible organization.
Amen! We’ve benefited from RCA over the last three years as well. It has been a huge blessing to us in this time where the Church has left us with a gaping hole in helping to educate our children. As a tutor, I have chosen this, not unwillingly. I’m certainly not doing it for the pay. I’m doing it for the payoff of seeing children, my own included, grow in their faith in a joyful environment with peers who also revere their faith. To call RCA families “cultists” is ridiculous.
I do want answers, but I don’t want to throw the baby out with the bath water.
Additionally, the Beckman family is suffering tremendously through this, and although Kari has brought this on through her sin, her children and husband don’t need you adding salt to the wound.
Regina Caeli was a huge part of my return to the Catholic faith (after a pathetically catechized childhood in the falling-apart Church of the late 70’s/early 80’s). God put RCA on my path and because of it I had my marriage blessed in the Church and have raised my children in the faith. My oldest daughter was confirmed last week. Kari is human and we would all do well to extend her some charity.
Simcha,
What sort of trauma has happened to you to make you SO obsessed with Kari Beckham and her family? To the point where you are posting comments on your own article, acting like you are someone else. (There’s a way to check that you know.) Your article’s “sources” and former “RCA parents” are YOU and maybe a few of your friends. We all know that. How about instead of spending all this time focused on someone else’s sins, you go to confession for being such an asshole.
You sound mighty defensive, like this has hit close to home. My sense is this is reporting that is needed. Too often, those most invested in a group or institution have the greatest interest in whitewashing and covering up. Which is the opposite of “Truth.” (Btw, I’m not sure I can imagine a more narcissistic online moniker than the self-reverential “Truth”)
No. This needed to be done. She bullied my mom so intensely my mom had to quit mid year. Most of my friends who went there left the church because of the emotional trauma of a fundamentalist community like this. RCA is a cult, and this is justice being served.
RCA was/is a beautiful community of many conservative Catholics who share a faith and want to educate our children in a program that offers the structure and social support that is sometimes lacking when educating in the home exclusively. None of us are perfect and most of us are just making our journey through this life wanting to serve Christ in this world as He called us to do. As a former RCA family, I experienced this wonderful community, however I ALSO experienced *everything* every.single.anonymous quote written above to be true and I know WHY they are anonymous b/c exactly what they have stated for fear of retribution in some fashion. I honestly can say I am not the least bit shocked at this turn of events. However, I am greatly saddened that it leaves such an immense taint for the program, the other families still there and mostly our Catholic faith. However disheartening this is, thank you for exposing this to the light.
To others, please, your regard for those not directly involved in this scandal but deeply affected by it would be greatly appreciated.
There is nothing stated in this article that denies that you and other families were trying to give the very best to your children. Iam praying for wisdom for you and all others affected by this.
So… Kari Beckman had an affair with a board member. There is a pending IRS inquiry into RCA’s use of funds.
How did you verify if anything has been built on the land in TX yet?
What proof do you have the 2016 suit was settled out of court? Do you have the word of the plaintiffs and anything to verify that word? All I can see is that the suit was dropped. Kruse and Kruse. v. RCA, USDC Eastern Mich 2016.
In one of the depositions, a lawyer for the plaintiffs asks the deposed if they asked families in interviews what kind of contraception they used, which the deposed denied.
You write “Several members recalled that…during their interview, Regina Caeli recruiters asked them if their marriage was canonically valid, and whether they use contraception.”
Are these “several members” different people who you personally interviewed? Or is this your disgruntled whistleblower alleging “several members” told her this?
How many people were interviewed for this article?
How did you get ahold of the deposition transcripts? No one ever suggested that we were asked “what kind” of contraception we used. We were absolutely asked whether we used contraception. I was.
It’s publicly available information. Excerpts from the deps are used as exhibits to various motions from either side. This lawsuit looked to be stalling for some reason. Sometimes lawsuits just run out of steam. People run out of money to keep up the pleadings and pay the lawyers, plaintiffs realize they just don’t have a case no matter how right they are, all kind of reasons for cases to be dropped. Ms. Fischer has asserted this case was “settled out of court” twice now. How does she know this? She doesn’t say, and no one asks.
Preach
As a RCA parent, I have never felt any of the things this article says. Shame on this person for writing this. I feel like I just read an Intouch Magazine article filled with the latest gossip and slander. I’m all about transparency and the truth but not running people’s name through the mud along with spitting on it! Root out the evil yes but don’t suggest that RCA is filled with hypocrite Catholics being manipulated. RCA has provided something beautiful for my family.
If it’s not true, why won’t you go on record? The fact that you feel compelled to post anonymously speaks volumes. Mind you, I don’t have a single dog in this fight but this whole story, as described, had more red flags in the beginning than a communist parade.
“If it’s not true, why won’t you go on record? The fact that you feel compelled to post anonymously speaks volumes.”
Matt, your comment could apply to every source quoted in this article.
At least anonymous up there doesn’t have to worry about being waterboarded in Guantanamo Ba- I mean Veritatis Splendor. You think these sources want to open themselves up to the wrath of an organization that kicks a family out for questioning where their money is going? An organization that consistently preaches how only it has the answers. At RCA different perspectives are always on the knife’s edge of being considered heresy or sinful. If I had a nickel for every time someone’s new way of thinking about something was likened to the dangers of “modernism,” I might have more money than Kari Beckman scammed from families. I understand the need for accurate sources, but in situations like this an organization has very likely made it difficult for people to come forward non-anonymously, which means the situation gets a little more complicated. I myself can testify to 90% of the claims in the article, but I understand that that probably doesn’t hold a lot of weight to you.
I really do see where you’re coming from. I always worry about a few in corrupt leadership leaving their stink on an entire operation (Hello, American bishops). But there were a few things from this article that jumped out at me and I’d love to hear your perspective. Is it true that they compared ballet tutus to soft porn? Also, did the school really crackdown on tank tops (in Texas!)? If these incidents weren’t known to you, would you have been ok with them? How about calling the lady about her Christmas decorations? I understand wanting to protect our kids from an increasingly secular and often demonic society, but it seems to me like the line between protective and cultish was crossed.
I have not been involved in any of these organizations but am a convert to the faith from atheism of many decades. As much as I love the Church it’s pretty easy to spot unhealthy groups from a mile away. Curious about V.S. in Texas after reading about it in the National Catholic Register I checked their website. If you look at the list of what members are expected to comply to it seems extremely controlling and paranoid and is clearly obsessed with stifling criticism or dissent. It reminded me of a Catholic group I was involved with as an idealistic new young Catholic. The (self-appointed) leader would describe any questioning of his decision making as having a “personal agenda” which always implied that his own point of view was neutral and Godly in comparison. That’s exactly what you will find in the community rules of conduct. There is also an obsession with what kind of swimsuits people in the community will be wearing at a swimming pool that doesn’t exist yet. These rules are coming from above and not from from the community that is forming and putting large amounts of $$$$ into purchasing land and building a home. Treating adults like children or having expectations of obedience to a secular organization that is still in formation has Red Flags 🚩 flying. I immediately started looking online for another POV and sure enough find the self righteous leader obsessed with others modesty commuted adultery and is still actively involved in the project. This whole project is extremely dodgy and unhealthy spiritually.
Amen! I feel the same as a past RCA mom
Agreed 100%. For Simcha and Mark Shea to be attacking families at RCA, is totally unnecessary and immature. Simcha breeds division amongst Catholics and that is not of God. Hate the sin but love the sinner.
It’s the facts this Article-
I totally believe the former student as well -God brings what is done in the dark to the Light – This was a long time coming !!!!!
You know when ( some) members start acting like they belong to a cult bad news is going to follow ( saw the same thing with “Classical Conversations”. )
I was never expected to “recruit” and Regina Caeli helped my family tremendously during the several years I was there. I didn’t care how Mrs. Beckman spent her own money or what her compensation was. She worked tremendously hard. Pretty sure all these people were free to leave at any time. This piece also relies too much on anonymous sources for an article complaining about someone else’s transparency. But still, it isn’t easy to defend an organization with an all too human head. I do hope they survive and other Catholic families can benefit the way my family did.
Hear! Hear! This has been our family’s experience. Thanks Mrs. Wolfgang!
I agree with your critique of this article – yes, Beckman did a terrible thing, but then the piling on of other accusations and complaints from anonymous sources feels wrong. It’s bad enough what she did, without the unproven allegations of financial misconduct from an anonymous letter-writer.
Hypocrisy and duplicity in one significant matter tends to make people suspicious in others. That is not an unreasonable reaction.
Yeah well it’s not her money we’re talking about here. She exploited the families of the children she and her cheater were entrusted to raise in the faith.
Imagine if they was covering abortions instead of an affair.
Hmm. The Beckmans were very involved with Regnum Christi and the Legionaries at one time. All of the RCA stuff sounds eerily similar.
Tell me more about this. Legionaries also have a similar cultish way about them…
I’m so tired of smug, pretentious, elitest Catholics who present such moral superiority to the world and privately are unable to live up to their own standards. If they’re so perfect and that’s the standard, why do we need Jesus anyway? I am currently going through a VERY necessary divorce and the lambasting from my Catholic friends was initially crushing. Ex is happily playing the victim after his terrible behavior led to my decision, while they all cautioned me about hell and no longer speak to me. I understand why people leave the church, even if they don’t leave the Church. There is such a lack of charity and zero grace given from the most pious Catholics. They are so exclusive and will discard anyone who has a whiff of “scandal” in their lives. The standards Kari Beckman imposed upon RCA in order to “belong,” the crazy and intrusive questions about marital sex lives??? Why weren’t those red flags to the families? And to be honest, those who wanted to be part of this “refuge from society” maybe need to re-examine that desire. We are called to live IN the world, not segregated in a Catholic commune where the (cult)ure of silence and toxic obedience leads to corrupt leadership as we see here (and in the magisterium). So sad and pathetic that in their collective attempt to thwart any exposure to sin, they were all entrenched in every manner of sin.
This comment really resonates with me. I’ve been through this too. Hanging onto my faith by my fingernails…
I agree with you. People don’t understand that sometimes divorce is necessary. I wish you the best as you go through this process, as I know it’s not easy.
The Catholic Church is infiltrated with hypocrites (aka Pope Francis and many liberal bishops). Now what Beckman did was wrong but there is still some good that came from the schools…what they teach is good, the good prayers, that God is the center of everything. But good thing she stepped down and I know someone who works there and she verifies that a lot of this is true that they do try to silence her sometimes and though she is disappointed she still is glad that the teaching is better than public school. Also some of the claims are not fully backed up … yet… our faith is not about people but about God. The humans might break down good but I stay a faithful Catholic because I trust in God not man. Also I will pray for what you are going through right now. 🙏
May God Bless You
I’m going through a divorce, too. Cps got involved with us and ordered my husband out…I was so brainwashed and gaslighted by him, it took me a few months to finally file for divorce. God saved me and the children. I couldn’t stop blaming myself in the beginning, though, because that’s what he always did. I am always responsible for his behavior. Even with CPS involved, and obvious abuse, there were still catholic “friends” telling me it was my job to reconcile! A priest even told me I should let him kill me-“after all”, he said, “Jesus did die on the cross”! Most people have been supportive, though.
I wish you the best. It’s been a rough year for so many people.
I’m so sorry. I’ll pray for all of you.
And Whoa! You should report that priest to his superior. He needs help.
I did report him. He told me that during confession and almost withheld absolution because of the divorce. I had to ask for absolution at the end! He had been talking to my husband, though, I think. I had just filed for a restraining order, too, my husband was threatening the caseworkers and was expressing extreme hate toward me and my oldest daughter for what he viewed as us betraying him. I was very distraught after that confession and all the stress I was under. I had to flee to a friend’s house with the children for safety and it was a day after that that I went into an acute psychosis and had to be hospitalized! I am doing very well six months later and have full custody of eight children, am in school getting my masters and teaching license, and my abusive soon to be ex is in the background where he belongs. I’m focusing on Jesus and his path for me and the children.
Michelle, I’m so sorry to hear about your experience with that priest. It resonates with me because I had an experience with a priest in confession at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in NYC a few years ago who implied that I should be homeless rather than to pursue the only option for housing that I could think of that I could afford, called me a slut, accused me of confessing sins I wasn’t sorry for, refused me absolution, and said that I’d have to live without the sacraments. I felt like I had encountered the devil himself in that confessional. The experience kept me away from confession for a couple of years, and I cried when I finally returned.
Some of life’s important decisions are not straightforward and have no easy answers. In my experience, people who pretend otherwise often end up making decisions like Mrs. Beckman. I used to think that following the most rigorous interpretations of Catholic teaching would make me holy, but now I now believe that being overly rigid and being lax are two sides of the same coin: they both deflect responsibility from listening to the will of God in our lives.
Unfortunately some individuals need reminding they are not Jesus. Policing yourself and others and lacking mercy is the opposite of Christianity. I know people are looking for sanctuary and wholesomeness in these chaotic times, but looking inward as a group in constant navel gazing and judging others as to whether they are holy enough to belong is sad and toxic. Also very immature and implies an undeveloped personality. Humility and willingness to hear criticism are necessary for any healthy organization. Rigidity and condemnation of the searcher for truth is not present from Jesus’ mouth or actions in any of the gospels.
Re this:
She said in her letter to RCA members that keeping the secret of her relationship “left me feeling despondent and it began to take a physical toll on my mind and my body.”
DARVO = “deny, attack, reverse victim and offender.”
This is a gold-standard reversal of victim and offender. Now instead of being a cheater, she’s a victim of despair whose very body is crumbling all around her as she deals with “keeping the secret of the relationship” that she shouldn’t have started in the first place
Every single part of this reads like it came from the cheater’s handbook or the pages of the Chumplady website. The entitlement, the blameshifting, the coercive control, the spiritual abuse–all of it.
and the vague “spiritual matter” that led her to these decisions. Supposedly.
I can’t wait to see what Chumplady’s UBT says about this
Preach, Jane! I really wish more Catholics/Christians knew about these psychological manipulation tactics so they could better recognize and protect themselves and each other from abuse. Years of spiritual and financial abuse of these families, but she’s the victim. Smdh.
Yes x 1,000,000
Bingo. It’s been a sentiment and experienced behavior when RCA was first started in Norcross, Georgia out of a parish hall that was offered for RCA’s use (which they paid nothing for, yet demanded “tuition”). When you have 3/4ths of the families at the time split off to complete their respective families’ education as a group after year 1 of attempting to get RCA started – that’s all I need to say…
The families that left were able to accomplish the very same goals RCA set out sans the Beckman family (before board members and the laughable business model Catholic families fell prey to).
You don’t need a franchise to form a lasting Catholic family co-op. I know because a lot of educated, concerned, and loving parents were able to pool together their resources and skillsets and provide a beautiful community as a fall out from a McCatholic Experience Franchise™ The beauty of RCA is its community of Catholic families, and this can be accomplished by the community aside from the fundraising and fees that seemingly go nowhere tangibly noticed.
I cannot speak to this points in the article or the events thereafter the growth of the franchising of RCA – only to what I’ve experienced.
People need to understand that they too, under the guise of charity, virtue signalling, gas lighting, et al. can be deceived via their own convictions. Just like Regnum Christi and the Legionnaire’s of Christ prior to the death of Fr. Maciel Marciel. One might find there were a lot of similarities between the means of silence and control. Truth needs no defending or silence.
Absolutely Vincent. I also came across Regnum Christi in the early 2000s when I was invited to a meeting and it was so obviously unhealthy, especially the way the members were setting up a secret “parallel parish” within our own because of course nothing was considered Catholic or good enough for the RCs. It was easy to find all the scandal that had happened in Mexico online even then, and aI couldn’t understand why so many people were ignoring or refused to believe the evidence that the leadership was corrupt and abusive.
A dear devout and saintly friend of mine was so thrilled to see so many young priests at the time, but I found it very concerning how regimented the Legionnaires were that they even controlled the haircuts the young men were allowed to have (straight out of the 1930s). It’s so sad that so many genuinely enthusiastic and devout Catholics can ignore Red Flags over and over and want to believe everything inside an organization is good and everything outside is bad ( a sign of a cult if there ever was one).
Preach!!
Preach!
Thank you for exposing this.
Also, I think all parts of the Christian church need to examine why we’re so often the locus of affinity fraud like this. Beckman presented her project as a way for ‘persecuted’ Catholics to escape the horrors of ordinary American life. “Persecution” for Beckman and her marks was defined as ‘having to live around people who think we’re wrong,’ which is rather far from Red Martyrdom. Perhaps if we turned down on the volume about how horrifying it is to exist in a world where we don’t hang women who’ve had abortions or burn drag queens at the stake, we might avoid scandals like this in the future.
Typically, the state Attorney General’s office regulates non-profits. Has the Texas AG non-profit unit opened an investigation? That would be the usual course after allegations of mismanagement and financial irregularities by a charitable organization. The AG is often the only effective overseer, because non-profits don’t have shareholders and directors with a financial stake that usually guarantees close scrutiny of management.
lol Dan Patrick opening up investigations into stuff like this. that would also mean he would have to open up an investigation into himself and his affairs and getting favors for women he was sleeping with.
I wouldn’t expect Ken Paxton (the Texas AG) to open an investigation on this. He has a lot of other problems he’s caused himself.
Bravo, Fishers! Well done!
Wow. I really hope the Catholic Church and the pro-life movement can prevail against the evil they have been infiltrated with.
And thank you, Simcha and Damien, for bringing this to light.
By the way, how do you immediately seek forgiveness for an affair? You immediately seek forgiveness for a onetime action, not something ongoing. Sorry for the numerous comments. This has just really floored me.
How do you know it was “an affair” rather than a one-time action? Beckman admitted to “a terrible lapse in judgment with a personal relationship” – all the references to an “affair” in the article come from commentators.
Based on her track record, I believe the commentators.
They had a meal train for Beckman’s family? “Hey kids, mom broke one of the ten commandments so people are bringing us food.”
Honestly as a former member I am not at all surprised that it came to this. Everything about Regina Caeli was geared towards Kari Beckman’s profit, unfortunately at the expense of the lives of the families who attended. The isolation that so many tutors experienced simply as a consequence of voicing their concerns is disgusting. Mental health is certainly no joke, but I find it laughable that Kari Beckman is trying to come off as a victim in these circumstances. The true victims are the members of RCA who have been under her thumb for so many years, and I pray that they find peace and healing from their experiences in what can only be described as a cult.
I’m ok with that part. If you ever been a family with serious marriage concerns, you know the headspace to cook and clean is not there. Too busy processing trauma, self-inflicted and otherwise. Sinners gotta eat.
It would have sounded way less weird though if this was a form of penance where the people involved in the affair were the ones offering of *their* service for others who were hungry, thirsty, etc. Imagine a world where stuff like this ever happens.
You begrudge those poor kids a casserole? Come on. They’ve been through enough. Leave them alone.
Prayers and a meal for their children in a tumultuous time when their parents are struggling? Completely separate from the sin of a parent.
I’d love to see these people’s reactions to a Meal Train for a woman leaving a domestic violence situation. Would they be as eager to contribute?
The real test for a hyper con is if they do a meal train for a mom suffering after terminating a pregnancy. (Just to be clear, I’m Team Lasagnas for All God’s Children).
Having known many of the people involved here for many years, yes, they would absolutely do a meal train for a woman leaving a domestic violence situation.
Board members trying to set one up for Mrs Beckman is disgusting. I can only hope that the idea is that it was actually for her children, several of whom are still young.
Yes