I have not lived an especially tragic or dramatic life. But like everyone, I have suffered losses and privations, and I have also had burdens lifted and obstacles removed. Strangely enough, the latter—the lifting of burdens and the removal of obstacles—was often more violent and painful and less welcome than the overt trials. Why? For so much of my life, oh how badly I have simply wanted to be left alone, undisturbed. I have wanted to live out my days among the familiar highs and lows of my familiar life, suffering comfortably, crumbling slowly, resisting disruption, wincing at the very thought of change. Slowly eating little chocolates as I count down my days.
But to meet Christ is to be disrupted.
Read the rest of my latest for America Magazine.
Image: The Last Angel by Nicholas Roerich
Loved this line so very much, without even the context of Advent: “Slowly eating little chocolates as I count down my days.” That’s a place of spiritual despair that I know too well. Desiring death, but settling for too much chocolate as I wait my end.