Sorry for the delay! Last week was a week of great stupitude and everything is late. Here’s what we had. Carb counts at the end.
SATURDAY
Chicken quesadillas, tortilla chips, strawberries
I drizzled a bunch of chicken breasts with olive oil and dusted them thoroughly with salt, pepper, cumin, and chili powder, then broiled them, let them cool a bit, and sliced them.
People could choose a combination of cheddar cheese, chicken, jalapeño slices, and chopped scallions for their quesadillas.
Served with sour cream and salsa, strawberries on the side. Lovely.
SUNDAY
Chicken sandwiches with bacon, green apple, and cheddar on sourdough; spicy fries
A very fine sandwich. My husband used olive oil, salt, and pepper and broiled the chicken, then cut it into thick slices. Each sandwich had chicken, a few pieces of crisp bacon, a slice or two of Granny Smith apple, and a thick slice of sharp cheddar, all on thick, toasted sourdough bread with honey mustard dressing. So good.
We had spicy fries, from frozen, on the side.
MONDAY
Ramen with pork and pickled vegetables
In the morning, I set some carrots and baby cucumbers pickling. I sliced the cukes into thin coins, and used a horizontal vegetable peeler to make wide ribbons of the carrots. I put them in a bowl with some white vinegar and a quarter cup or so of sugar. Pickled vegetables add a wonderful crunch and brightness to otherwise dull food.
Before dinner, I dusted some thick pork ribs with salt and pepper and sautéed them in olive oil. While they were cooing, I soft boiled a bunch of eggs, chopped scallions, and started some ramen cooking. Then I sliced the pork thin and served everything in separate bowls, along with sesame seeds, sriracha sesame seeds, wasabi sauce, and soy sauce.
And how delighted I am to be eating dinner while the sun is still up. HOW DELIGHTED.
TUESDAY
Stuffed shells, salad
Benny has been begging for lasagna, and I have a real mental block about making lasagna. I always end up like the Three Stooges in the one where they’re hanging wallpaper. So I made stuffed shells instead.
I cooked two 12-oz boxes of jumbo shells, and stuffed them with this filling:
2 32-oz tubs of ricotta cheese
8 oz. grated parmesan
4 beaten eggs
1 Tbs garlic powder
2 Tbs dried basil
2 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
3 cups of shredded mozzarella
I put sauce in the casserole dish, then put in the stuffed shells, then added more sauce and topped it with another cup of mozzarella cheese. I covered it and put it in a 350 oven for maybe 40 minutes. I forgot to eat that day, so I almost devoured my own hand in my haste to put stuffed shells inside my face. The kids who weren’t starving also thought they were quite good, too.
WEDNESDAY
Hamburgers, spicy roast cauliflower
I’m trying to serve chips less reflexively, so I tried cauliflower. Because I happen to like cauliflower, and not because I think it’s some kind of magical hylomorphic substance that can be browbeaten into becoming anything your carb-loving heart desires. Yes, I know that’s not what hylomorphic means. Don’t care. I just like cauliflower.
So I broke it into florets and mixed it up with olive oil, salt, pepper, tons of minced garlic, and some hot pepper flakes, and shoved the pan under a hot broiler until the cauliflower was a little charred. It was okay. I thought it would be exciting, but it was just kind of hot. I forgot to take a picture, but you can probably imagine.
THURSDAY
Pizza and birthday cake
A sleepover party with I don’t even know how many little nine-year-olds. Guess what? They were so much better behaved than the three high school kids who slept over the night before. Land.
This party was a pirate party. We’ve thrown a lot of parties, and my greatest tip is: Have a few bucks to spare so you can just run out and buy a bunch of crap right before the party. I spray painted a skull and crossbones on a plastic tablecloth and blew up balloons, and that was decorations.
I cut a watermelon into a pirate ship full of fruit salad, which is honest to goodness not that hard if you stay calm. Look at the little carrot cannons! The girls supplied little clay mermaids to lounge here and there.
You cut the melon in half lengthwise and slice the fruit in the bottom like a grid and scoop it out with a big spoon. Then scoop out the top rind and trim it into a few sail shapes, and put it together with wooden skewers for masts. I had to put some extra shell bits in the bottom to anchor the skewers. I also cut holes in the side for baby carrot cannons, and taped a little flag to the top. In other lifetime, I’ll go nuts with scrolling and scrimshaw and little flags and spars and rope ladders, but not this lifetime.
Then I made a treasure chest cake! Sort of!
It looks a little bit like a clam eating Oreos, but it also looks a little bit like a treasure chest, don’t you think?
I made a double recipe, and used about 1/4 of the batter to make a round base, which I frosted and then sprinkled with crushed graham cracker for sand (pirate sand). Then I poured the rest of the batter into a large loaf pan, to make the chest. When it was cool, I sliced the rounded top off for a lid, and frosted the bottom.
I used gold food grade spray (affiliate link!) to make gold coins out of Oreos. I have no idea why I didn’t use yellow Oreos, but I didn’t. (There were also gluten free cupcakes, and I topped them with GF chocolate chip cookies sprayed gold, to be gold nuggets, I guess.
Piratey! It took two cans of spray to cover all the cookies on both sides.) Then I arranged the coins on the bottom/chest part of the cake with a plastic necklace, put the top “lid” back on, and frosted that.
Then I added the trim.
If I had had more time, I would have mixed different shades of chocolate frosting together to make the chest look like wood, and I would have used chocolate chips for the rivets. Next time! I thought it turned out well, though, and the birthday girl was pleased.
The kids made their own pizzas. This is a great party activity, as it’s both project and meal.
Everyone had a red pirate head scarf ($1 each at Walmart) and an eye patch (which I bought in bulk here – affiliate link!). To make pirate scarves, fold the kerchief into a triangle. Lay it over the head, fold the two side corners in, tucking in the folds that makes, and tie a knot at the nape of the neck. Works best for kids without a cubic yard of curly hair.
They played “walk the plank” down by the stream. I don’t know what that entails, but everyone did come back.
FRIDAY
Blintzes and grits
Yep, that’s what we had. As befitted such a meal, I didn’t take any pictures.
***
So here’s the carb counts, more or less:
Chicken apple sandwiches:
Sourdough bread – 23 carbs per slice – 46 for sandwich
Chicken 0
Bacon 0
Honey Mustard dressing – 6 carb per 2 tablespoons
alternate:
Mustard – 0
Mayonnaise – 0
Chicken quesadillas:
Pueblo Lindo large burrito size tortilla: 34
Cheddar cheese: negligible
scallions: doesn’t want
Clancy’s restaurant style tortilla chips: 14 chips, 38 carbs
Pork ramen:
1 package Top Ramen, chicken flavor: 26
Pork cooked in olive oil and sesame oil: 0
one 7″ carrot and 1 mini cuke, pickled in vinegar and sugar: 10
(sauteed mushrooms, 4 medium sliced: 2.4)
sriracha sauce:
iced tea: 34 grams per two cups of Lipton lemonade/iced tea mix
Stuffed shells:
- 2 32-oz tubs of ricotta cheese, approx 8 cups: 45 per container, 90 total recipe
- 8 oz grated Parmesan cheese: 0
- 4 eggs: 0
- 1 Tbs garlic powder: 7
- 2 Tbs dried basil: 4.2
- 2 tsp salt: 0
1 tsp pepper: negligible
4 cups shredded mozzarella cheese: 16 - Makes about 9 cups cheese filling: 117.2 total
2 boxes of Jumbo Shells, 12 oz each: 246 per box, - carbs in six shells:
41 g per six pasta shells
Reggano marinara sauce, 1/2 cup (divided top and bottom): 13
cheese filling, i cup: 13.02
_______
67.2 per six shells
1 Tbs balsamic vinegar: 2.7
Pizza and cake:
260 total ball of Portland Pie white dough
1/4 of a pizza:
1/4 cup Hunts sauce: 5.5
1/2 cup shredded cheese: 2
1 of 12 Live GF yellow cake : 37
frosting:20
oreo: 866138.5 total meal
Blintz and grits:
blintz 13
milk, 2 cups: 24
—–
100
1. You have the most creative birthdays.
2. (Totally not judging or complaining, I just honestly think this was hysterical) I want to know what happened to make the ramen pork ribs coo!
That cake is great! I’ll have to remember it when it’s time to celebrate my youngest son’s birthday. I’m not eating any flour and sugar these days, so the motivation to bake has decreased, but I’ll still do it for my family and watch them enjoy. I got really tired of carrying around 70 pounds of fat into middle age and also started to have some health problems, so I committed myself to “Bright Line Eating.” It turns out not eating any flour or sugar, eating only three meals a day and limiting food quantities was not the killer I thought it would be. By the end of the first week, I had way more energy, slept better, my indigestion disappeared, and I was a more chipper woman. And I’m even losing weight. At 55, looking toward old age, comfort foods aren’t the comfort they used to be.
the fact that you have 10 kids and manage to celebrate birthdays all-out like you do is simply amazing. Anytime you ever start to think negative thoughts about yourself, you should just look at old pics of birthday cakes you’ve made!
Simcha, I thought of you this morning when I was making this recipe for breakfast:
1/3 pound of rinsed, farm raised salmon sliced thin (reliably sourced and fresh -$10 a pound at Whole Foods) liberally spritzed with lemon
Japanese white sticky rice
Avocado sliced thin
Soy sauce
sesame seeds
wasabe
1/4 Serrano chili marinated over night in sweet balsamic vinegar or rice wine vinegar
I was looking for the dry seaweed to mince and put on top but couldn’t find it.
I’l bet a bit of cucumber would have been good too.
This is great if you have only had coffee for breakfast. I wait a few hours after that and then make it for a brunch.
So tasty and kills the sushi cravings. Sticks to the ribs until an early dinner.
Your southern friend says: you had grits?! Did you use a recipe?? Mine are pretty good but I am always interested in new ideas.
What are blintzes?
The birthday cake was fabulous. Good job you.
oh. . . .I just followed the recipe on the side of the cardboard canister. I had mine with butter and salt.
Blintzes are sweet cheese rolled up in crepes – Eastern European food.
Haha I guess I was surprised because my twenty something daughters in law are from Maine and upstate New York respectively and hadn’t had many grits encounters before moving south…
Try a little sharp cheddar and a lot of pepper next time! Fabulous with fish😁
I used to eat Asian food a few times in the past.
I love the cake!
I’ve noticed that you guys eat more (non-takeout) Asian food than most white people I know — is this related to your children’s interest in Asian pop culture, or just because it’s the world’s most delicious food (you’re welcome, The West), or what? (Are my white friends just lame?)
I’m not really sure! I have always loved Asian food (I remember irritating my in-laws by insisting that our wedding rehearsal dinner be Chinese takeout), but only started cooking it recently. I have some friends married to Korean guys, and another friend who is half Japanese. I guess it’s just peer pressure.
The best kind of peer pressure!
That cake should be the only piece of supporting evidence to get you the title of Mother of the Year, 2018.
Congratulations!
I love, love, love that cake.
That cake looks fabulous, and so does the ship fruit salad.
I’d love to try your cooing pork ribs.
Yummy.
Cauliflower soup is my new favorite. My kids ate cauliflower for the first time and loved it–because they couldn’t see it. Mwahhahaha
Have you seen that episode of Chef’s table where the Jewish kid from NY becomes a sensation in Tokyo for his Top Ramen? I was mesmerized. (Also had late-night munchies…) Looks soooo good. Yours looks great too. I love having a bunch of fresh condiments to top off a great broth. I just have *not* been able to find any decent bone broth that can substitute for the home made kind that tastes decent enough. 🙁 Even the expensive one from Whole Foods was a no-go. And the box variety?–So bogus. How dare they.
I have to confess something. I finally –after 30.9 years of being a mother–succumbed to the dishonor of throwing a Chuck E Cheese birthday party. The little stinker begged and begged (a kid at school must have poisoned her mind because she’s never been inside of one.)
It was truly as appalling as I thought it would be. But as I sat on that bench with a giant Taylor Swift video blaring in the background, chatting with my husband–this joy began to well up in me. We didn’t have to *do* a darn thing! except DRIVE there! I looked at my husband in wonder and said, “I have seen the light.”
As a fellow birthday cake-making mom (my mother was not and I go a bit overboard as a consequence), that looks really good and I’m stealing the idea in case any of mine want a pirate party in the future.
Our last week included an 18th birthday, a car accident, and a trip to get me a new car for Mother’s Day. Not because I had the car accident, but because (happily) my husband had a fender bender that ended up destroying his already-nearly-dead car. So he said he would drive my car and give me the new, safest car because I tote the kids around.
So meals were a bit scattered. I think on Monday we had something involving chicken. Maybe. Tuesday was a day of birthday prep and car accident, so I was elbow-deep in buttercream and cake batter and on the phone with my husband a lot. I told the kids they could have a picnic dinner and I made them grilled cheeses.
Wednesday we had ham, per the guest of honor’s request, and cooked apples that I make in the crockpot and every damn time I swear I am going to only cook them on Low for two hours, and I forget and cook them on High and they end up applesauce. Delicious applesauce, but not cooked buttered apples. We also had cole slaw and corn and crescent rolls.
The cake itself was pretty simple, I just baked a two layer 9×13 chocolate cake (I always think a single layer 9×13 looks skimpy for a birthday, I have issues), and the frosting ended up being all-butter buttercream, since I thought I was out of shortening. Turns out that all-butter buttercream > buttercream made with half shortening, and it was deeeelicious. And the cake was, I think, Duncan Hines Chocolate Fudge and everyone said it was the best cake ever. For decoration, my very mature son had no input, so I tried my hand at a Flag of Numenor (Middle-Earth), and my main accomplishment was finding purple fondant. It wasn’t awesome looking, in my mind, but it was okay. The main thing is always a special cake you don’t have on other days, right?
Thursday we had leftover ham (I had a ham-over from too much ham the night before, geddit?), scrambled eggs and hashbrown patties that were taking up room in the freezer.
Friday was pasta night. I tried these Cauliflower Gnocchi from Trader Joe’s, not because I think cauliflower is a substitute for everything, but because they were gluten free and I miss gnocchi. They are…gelatinous. I ate them, because I love me some carbs, but they were not a repeat.
I love how the use of cauliflower requires a disclaimer now.
It really does.
This all sounds really good! You are such a fun mom about party-planning and birthday celebrations (I’m sure about other things too but that’s what’s applicable here). Love the cake!