The delightful Claire Swinarski graciously invited me to be on her podcast, The Catholic Feminist. My episode, #50, is up today. It was so refreshing to talk to a young Catholic woman who both loves the Faith and isn’t allergic to the word “feminist.”
Among other topics, we talked about “#metoo,” about why Damien and I covered the Christendom story, how virginity culture objectifies people, how to teach consent so it dovetails with a Catholic understanding of human dignity, and how to come back to Christ after the Church has failed you. You can hear the podcast on The Catholic Feminist Podcast site, or listen to it right here:
I shared a screenshot in which Christendom College clarified the timeline of when they expected to talk with the Fishers, because it seemed to me this could clear things up between them and the Fishers. Simcha was confused about why they were upset that she had printed on Tuesday, and I thought it would clear things up if she knew they had meant to call back Tuesday afternoon. It did not occur to me that anyone would object to this. I wasn’t the only one who shared this screencap, by the way — so did John Jalsevac, a Christendom defender. No one at the time thought there would be anything offensive at sharing Christendom’s explanation; it did not appear to be a private comment at all.
Of course I didn’t know that they were LYING and trying to tell a different story to alumni than they were telling Simcha. I wasn’t trying to catch them in a lie, but that’s inadvertently what I did. No wonder Christendom defenders are so mad at me. But I think that anger is better directed at McFadden, who runs the “Chris Tendom” account and told the lie in the first place.
Sheila Connolly,
Am I to thank you for providing an answer to a question I did not ask?
I’ll repeat it again.
It is my understanding that you ALSO stole screenshots of comments from the Christendom alumni private Facebook page and shared them with a liberal Catholic blogger who used them–out of context–and put the Christendom alumni community–that the CASC says they want to help–in a very poor light.
Was that you or another member of the Christendom Advocacy and Support Coalition?
Jessica Carpenter said,
“Wait, why should they provide transportation? What’s wrong with when you’re raped off campus, calling 911? What’s wrong with immediately after being raped on campus with calling 911? Wouldn’t the emergency services provide you transportation? What about friends, or RAs, or anyone?”
RAs would be Christendom.
Does Christendom have so many rapes that they can’t possibly provide transportation?
Also, maybe just maybe the woman does not wish to be picked up on campus by a police car or ambulance. If you do that, there goes your privacy.
Providing discreet transport to a distant hospital (and explaining that they will do it) is literally the least Christendom can do for the wellbeing of their female students. Also, you just said that “The local community, on the other hand, should have one. Even if Front royal doesn’t, rape is such a truly serious thing that catching the rapist is worth the 30 minute drive to Winchester.”
Rape is such a serious thing that catching the rapist is worth providing transport to students to Winchester.
Or is it not serious? Don’t be putting all the burdens on a traumatized person for figuring this out in a crisis.
“If what you’re suggesting is “a thing”, then I might be able to get behind such a policy, but as it stands, it seems like a weird demand/requirement/expectation given common sense and common human behavior.”
The “common sense and common human behavior” I’m concerned about is traumatized people not thinking clearly and being bad at problem solving. Meanwhile, you envision a woman who has just had the worst thing of her life happen to her busily hustling rides from friends, at the risk of her own privacy. How do you get a ride to the hospital without explaining why you need a ride to the hospital to multiple, some of whom are perhaps prone to gossip?
me: ““Did he put at least equal weight on true claims?”
Jessica Carpenter: “I have no idea, and you don’t have proof one way or another.”
So, all we know is that he really liked using a fake rape example. Until somebody steps forward and says that he also used some true rape examples, we have to assume that that was students’ primary exposure to the topic at the time.
This is getting long. If I have more to say, I’ll do another comment.
Rides can be very hard to get on Christendom’s campus. The nearest hospital that does rape exams is in Winchester, about 40 minutes away. Cabfare from campus to that hospital is about $70 round trip; Uber would be more.
So yeah, it is a major issue. And it is very unfair that the college does not provide transportation or even information about what to do if you are raped (most students simply don’t know about rape exams, or that you have to get them right away, or where to get one) and then blames students after the fact because they didn’t magically know to do all that right away.
Sheila,
Exactly.
A lot of people are expecting college students to magically have information (whether about post-rape exams or consent) that they are only going to have if either somebody tells them or they go looking for it themselves.
We can’t hold young people responsible for not knowing things we haven’t told them.
Sorry! 🙂 Didn’t mean to post my last comment in the wrong place. :'(
“Is Christendom going to provide transportation? And will they publicize that they will do so?”
Wait, why should they provide transportation? What’s wrong with when you’re raped off campus, calling 911? What’s wrong with immediately after being raped on campus with calling 911? Wouldn’t the emergency services provide you transportation? What about friends, or RAs, or anyone?
I don’t understand your point here, or how this obligation would arise on Christendom’s part. It seems that if someone says “I was just raped” and calls 911, or tells a friend, they’re going to get the ride to the hospital. Who has ever denied any of these women a ride? Perhaps you’re not saying someone has, perhaps you misspoke, in which case I get it. This is an emotional topic, and issues get confused. This is not an issue I’ve seen (women who have been raped not being able to get the transportation they need from emergency services, or friends). Maybe someone has mentioned it on the dozens of blogs that have been talking about this in the past few weeks. If what you’re suggesting is “a thing”, then I might be able to get behind such a policy, but as it stands, it seems like a weird demand/requirement/expectation given common sense and common human behavior.
“Did he put at least equal weight on true claims?”
I have no idea, and you don’t have proof one way or another.
“I think that the danger of a professor overemphasizing false claims is that students will take away from the lecture the idea that if they are sexually assaulted, they will not be believed. And worse, it has the potential of convincing predators that they can prey and their victims will not be believed.”
I don’t see how “some women make false claims” = “people will not believe my true claim.” The two are not logically connected, and you further down accuse me of not saying what I mean. You seem to be implying that women are not rational. Frankly, that offends me, and should offfend you in hindsight.
Plus, where is your evidence of any emphasis or over-emphasis on the part of the professor with regard to “false claims”? I don’t even know what you are addressing in his comment.
My initial comment: “I’m sorry, as a woman, I often decide how I feel about things after the fact.”
Amy P’s comment: “Lord have mercy. Do you seriously think that self-deception is a uniquely feminine quality? Have some self-respect and start saying what you mean and meaning what you say.”
First of all, no, I don’t think it is a uniquely feminine quality. And I’m not entirely referring to self-deception if by self-deception you mean something intentional. I absolutely do believe we are more emotional than men on the average. If you don’t, we’ll just have to agree to disagree on that one. And I also believe that emotions tend to cloud issues. Clearly, not everyone who has had their ass grabbed not having fully formed feelings at the time later then claims that they were sexually assaulted. Clearly not even most women do that. My point is more subtle than that and goes to a subset of women of the subset of women who get their asses grabbed. Not every woman who gets their ass grabbed is at a frat/sorority party when it happens. But some who are at parties like that, some I’ve known, color with their later emotions the earlier event in a way that at the time, if questioned about it immediately after the butt grab, they wouldn’t have colored it.
And regard to saying what I mean, I think I’ve made it very clear what I mean in my posts. 🙂
Jessica Carpenter said:
“I don’t see how “some women make false claims” = “people will not believe my true claim.” The two are not logically connected, and you further down accuse me of not saying what I mean.”
What if you had a professor who would go on and on about how “some men make false claims about being mugged.” How much confidence would you have in turning to that professor for help and support after a mugging? It’s a fair assumption that he feels more sympathy for men accused of rape than he feels for women who say they are victims of rape.
If there was evidence of Marshner talking in more detail and with more nuance about rape, that would be different, but we’re just going off of the evidence that we have.
“You seem to be implying that women are not rational. Frankly, that offends me, and should offfend you in hindsight.”
It’s a perfectly rational assumption.
“First of all, no, I don’t think it is a uniquely feminine quality.”
In that case, it’s just as possible for men to lie to themselves that the woman was willing when she wasn’t. Also, why say “I’m sorry, as a woman, I often decide how I feel about things after the fact.” if you don’t mean to say something specifically about women. What is the “as a woman” doing there if both sexes do it?
“I absolutely do believe we are more emotional than men on the average.”
Then why is it that boys and men keep shooting up schools and women don’t?
I think you have a very narrow range of emotions in mind when you say “we are more emotional.”
“And regard to saying what I mean, I think I’ve made it very clear what I mean in my posts. 🙂”
Yeah. You’ve just implied that if you show up to a party, guys are free to grope you.
Ooookay!
Jessica Carpenter,
By saying that women don’t know our own minds, you’re setting us all up for sexual assault.
How is a guy who hears what you said about butt-grabbing supposed to respect women’s personal space or a “no”?
He’s going to think, “Women don’t know what they really want! I know what she wants!” and just do what comes naturally, without making any effort to find out what she actually wants.
Again–have some self-respect. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don’t give anyone an excuse for believing that they get to decide for you.
Also (and apologies for being a thread hog)–the absence of a clear “yes” means “no.”
So, no butt-grabbing strangers!
I enjoyed listening to your podcast.
How someone who has never been to Christendom College or apparently ever spoke to someone who loved their experience there, gets to be the authority is beyond me.
Christendom just like every other college and workplace has its share of problems. But unlike most other places, it actually teaches that women are created equal in the image of God. That women deserve respect by their nature, not because we have to earn it. I have never heard men speak better of their wives, admiration of their strength and abilities, then the professors at Christendom. I personally was encouraged to pursue my career in finance and had interviews and mentors suggested to me by my male falcuty. My network of male and female friends and alumni have helped me get jobs as well as supported me as I started my own small business. I am one of 6 girls in my family, the youngest is a junior, I graduated 20 yrs ago. We all have had great experiences and feel that our college education and community have enriched our lives and fostered our careers. I still count my college friends as some of my closest after 20 yrs, partially because they are good people trying to do the right thing and raise their kids the same way. In a world that objectifies women, exploits them at every turn, Christendom is a breath of fresh air. I am not saying it is perfect, or that bad things have never happened, but I am saying that it has never been a place that encourages the degradation of women or misogyny.
The issue is is that if Christendom values the dignity of women, then they should have responded with some basic well known steps to address the allegations of sexual abuse that supposedly happened. Rape happens on every campus, that’s not what people are upset about. The issue is the way the cases were handled, especially considering the history of Christendom’s chastity policies. The point of the story is to be a wake up call to Catholics who think that if they follow the rules that bad things won’t happen to them in Catholic circles. Pretending that if you’re group, school, church, or college is orthodox catholic, you don’t have to address and have a plan for these situations, is ignorant.
Hello Professor. Your comments regarding CASC are extraordinarily off-point. If you are going to criticize Simcha for not being honest, please at least make an attempt to be honest yourself. My information is available on the CASC website at cascoalition.org. I look forward to talking since you are so concerned with the admirable pursuit of truth.
I know the “professor” could not be more ON POINT with respect to the CASC. In my opinion, the CASC has been creating more victims and is doing more harm than good.
The truth about your organization is going to come out very soon.
We have done nothing but speak the truth. It is entirely shameful for you to demean and belittle victims and victim advocates in such an unchristian and uncharitable way.
From the almost two dozen victims who have reached out in gratitude to the women who spoke up, I know what sort of good work we are doing. I have nothing to hide and neither does CASC. I am not hiding behind false names.
You’ve done nothing but speak the truth? Your statement is untrue. You say you want to help victims, but then members in your “coalition” make new ones, or re-traumatize old ones. You say you want to help Christendom, but then you drag the school’s reputation, and that of the alum through the mud with falsehoods.
1. You are not”helping” Christendom, by publicly attacking the college with a distorted description of it.
2. You claim you want to help victims, all the while people in your “coalition” harassed other victims who did not jump on your “raze” Christendom to the ground bandwagon and threatened to reveal their stories without their CONSENT.
3. You all say you’re about peace yet members in your”coalition” unjustly attacked countless Christendom college alumni in the private Facebook alumni group, calling them “rape apologists,” because they defend the college or “victim shamers” for talking about ways young women can prevent rape and sexual assault.
4. You all say you want to help the college and promote peace but people in your”coalition” stole screenshots of private comments that angry alums made in the heat of the moment on the private Facebook alumni group, and gave them to a blogger who published these screenshots out of context to make the Christendom community look bad.
5. How do you reconcile saying you’re about “peace,” when members of your “coalition” sent screen shots of a fellow alum’s Facebook comments to her employer calling this person a “rape apologist?” Is this peaceful? How is that not vindictive?
6. How do you reconcile saying you’re about “peace,” when members of your “coalition” sent a complaint letter to the bishop and pastor of an alum who is a priest because he worded a Mass invitation to Christendom alums because it was “insensitive” to your group.
What’s shameful is how you exploit the tragedy of some people to promote your progressive ideology and use it to get revenge against people simply because they disagree with your subversive tactics.
I am 100% behind helping victims. However, no one in your group is certified or qualified to help victims. Based on what I’ve heard and seen you’re only reviving old, painful memories and using these painful emotions to weaponize them against those who did not victimize these poor people.
I am happy to see the #metoo movement. As our society becomes more hyper-sexualized, I fear we will see more assaults. I support educating people about this. I support helping victims. I just can’t abide by people affiliated with CASC making new victims.
Who the fuck are you to hide behind a fake screen name and thirteenth threaten a group of open and transparent survivors ? And why is no one willing to question the authenticity of my story but you want to trash my fellow rape survivors?
If you want a real discussion, Potter, be a big boy, man up and use your given name. Call me up or meet me here. My name is Caroline Pollock. I was raped by a founders son at Christendom College in 1999 and I had no one to turn to.
Why would I post my name, Caroline? God forbid you all contact my employer!
Not sure why my system is having issues, but it would not play on the embedded html5 player, so I ended up going straight to the mp3 source: http://traffic.libsyn.com/preview/thecatholicfeministpodcast/episode50_-_3_5_18_10.10_AM.mp3
I like how you address the issues of how the Catholic Church approaches teaching on chastity. Ultimately, I think the responsibility lies with the parents. I have met too many Catholic parents who place expectations on Mass, CCD, and youth group to teach their children about the Catholic Faith and chastity. But then they do next to nothing in the home to teach the faith. So I can see how parents would approach Catholic colleges the same way, and expect those colleges to teach their children how to be adults. It is a vicious cycle of poorly cathecized adults poorly catechizing their children.
However, is this culture changing? You make the statement “Christendom pretty much tells parents ‘You do not have to teach your kids anything about sex or about safety or about consent because they are going to be safe because this is Catholic land.'” Does Christendom explicitly do this? Did they use to do it, but not anymore? Or is it a combination of implication on the college, and inference on the parents? Is Christendom simply responding to a situation where parents don’t teach there children anything, so therefore take up the mantle of teaching about chastity? Much like many university having to deal with kids who do not even have a high school level of literacy by offering remedial English classes, there has to be some remedial “this is how you function as a responsible mature respectful adult” classes.
I would love to see a blog post from you that throughly explores what is happening at Christendom right now regarding official classes/orientatiosn on chasitity, as well as the climate of the student body regarding sexuality.
Joe, I’m afraid if you want a real sense of how things are around here, Simcha is the wrong person to ask.
I’ve been on the faculty here for a long time. NO ONE here believes in the nonsense that Simcha ascribes to us. NO ONE on the faculty teaches that women shouldn’t vote, or that men can’t control their urges, or that the victim is to blame for sexual assault, or that women are “less” made in the image of God than men. NO ONE teaches these things. They are completely made up. Simcha hasn’t even made the slightest effort to be honest during the course of her continued crusade against Christendom College.
It’s really sad, actually. I used to love reading Simcha Fisher. My wife and I were huge fans; I found her really refreshing. Her famous thing about “pants” was hilarious; I also always enjoyed her willingness to humorously point out that being Catholic and being Republican are not necessarily the same thing.
Why she has chosen to obstinately and deliberately distort reality in her protracted campaign against us, is utterly beyond me. She knows nothing about our formation talks for young men and women, nothing about the counseling resources that we provide (FOR FREE) for our students, nothing about all the professional mentorship we provide to young Catholic WOMEN, helping them to get out in the business world, get into law school, get Fulbright awards, etc. etc. She even refuses to acknowledge that we have a state-of-the-art sexual assault reporting policy, which encourages reporting by completely indemnifying victims from any punishment, regardless of what others rules the victim may have broken (this is the Title IX standard, and we’ve had it for years: i.e. if someone reports that they were victimized while drinking on campus or breaking curfew, they cannot and will not be sanctioned for any of that).
No institution is perfect. No institution can be a place where everyone agrees all the time. There is no institution out there that doesn’t have some flawed people among its alums, staff, faculty, students, etc. But we are not what Simcha Fisher has made us out to be. Not even close.
Incidentally, Simcha’s little coalition of allies in this campaign have gone out of their way to destroy the lives of anyone who disagrees with them on social media. They have contacted people’s employers, blackmailing them that “if you don’t fire this person, we’re going to the press to report that you employ a rape apologist,” etc. etc. An alumnus priest disagreed with them on social media, and they contacted his bishop and his pastor. The people running this smear campaign are unscrupulous and Machiavellian in the extreme, and it is sad.
The last paragraph here is actually a lie. My friends, who contacted the employer of the victim-blamer in question, did not ask that anyone be fired, but only notified them that a counselor at their all-girls school was openly blaming and discrediting rape victims on social media. Simcha did not have anything to do with that, that I am aware of.
Mr. Wagner, have you read any of the letters they’ve sent?
Joe Wagner’s comment reveals the CASC’s penchant for obfuscation.
To be clear, in the Christendom alum Facebook page, one alum took issue with the fact that the CASC members and friends seemed hell bent at laying all the blame for sexual assault and rape on the college.
This person argued that the parents are primarily responsible for teaching their children about things like rape and consent–not the college. The alum also contended that young women need to take ownership of their own actions that they alone placed themselves in positions where they were alone drinking with young men that this is dangerous spiritually, morally, and physically. This alum specifically pointed out that they were NOT blaming the victims for their assault, but that they were doing saying was unjust.
Joe’s “friends” are trying to fool people into believing that they didn’t try to get their fellow alum fired, and that their efforts are not malicious and vindictive.
Readers here should know that the CASC leadership has a very liberal/progressive bent and that, in general, their agenda seems far more informed by 3rd wave feminist ideology rather than Catholic principles. In fact, a large number of CASC members are fallen away Catholics with an axe to grind.
The truth is a victims of their agenda.
You’re killing me Lou
I really don’t think you should be patting yourself on the back just because “for years now” you haven’t been *punishing* women for coming forward with rape claims. Wow. That’s … not at all impressive. State-of-the-art? That’s not state-of-the-art for the 90’s! Yes, it’s a requirement of Title IX, and it certainly is a bare minimum thing you can do, but Title IX requires a lot more than that, which Christendom does *not* do. For instance, so far as I know, it still doesn’t actually adjudicate rape cases at all. It doesn’t have a trained sexual assault nurse examiner available. RA’s are not given any training about how to report cases they hear about.
Counseling is good, though perhaps you should have mentioned it’s a new initiative just this year.
As for women’s achievements at Christendom … pick up your latest Instaurare, flip through the pages, and see who’s being praised for what achievements. The men are in there for their jobs. The women are there either for having babies or for being nuns. I know Christendom women who have done some really impressive things, but it doesn’t appear that Christendom helped them or is proud of their accomplishments.
And professors –well, I’ll excuse you for not knowing, because you aren’t in the classroom with your colleagues when they say these things. But Blum (no longer there) said women shouldn’t vote, and criticized my paper on women’s role in society for saying they should. Marshner is well-known to talk about false rape claims as a common circumstance, which they are not. And Cuddeback said, in a classroom where I was sitting, that women are less in the likeness of God than men are, because we are less rational.
I had lots of professors that have been the opposite — absolutely encouraging women to do their best, and treating us the same as the male students. But it would be wrong to deny that the opposite did exist too.
Correct me if I am wrong, but my understanding is that the local hospital doesn’t even have trained sexual assault examiner RN on staff and you want the college to? The county which has a population of 39,000 can’t staff one but the college should?
Kate Leonard said,
“Correct me if I am wrong, but my understanding is that the local hospital doesn’t even have trained sexual assault examiner RN on staff and you want the college to? The county which has a population of 39,000 can’t staff one but the college should?”
In that case, how about Christendom throw its weight behind getting a trained RN at the local hospital?
How on earth is sexual assault supposed to be prosecuted in that area if there is nobody qualified to do examinations?
Since Christendom already has a nurse, it would not be very burdensome for them to pay this nurse to take SANE training courses. Just because Warren Memorial Hospital doesn’t care much about women (it’s closing its L&D ward as well) doesn’t mean Christendom is off the hook.
“I really don’t think you should be patting yourself on the back just because “for years now” you haven’t been *punishing* women for coming forward with rape claims.”
This is a strange statement. First of all, the critique argued with is leveled not just against Christendom past, but Christendom present. Clearing the record on Christendom present is one part of a reasonable response. What is wrong with stating (and backing up) “You say X is the case from year 20XX to now, X is not the case in that time period”? Someone can point out errors, or lies, or inconsistencies in part of the story, drawing into question the credibility of that part, without going into detail on everything. And mocking them because they don’t go into detail into everything isn’t argument, it’s just silly emoting.
Furthermore, when has Christendom ever actually (and provably) punished women for BEING raped?
“Wow. That’s … not at all impressive. State-of-the-art? That’s not state-of-the-art for the 90’s! Yes, it’s a requirement of Title IX, and it certainly is a bare minimum thing you can do, but Title IX requires a lot more than that, which Christendom does *not* do. For instance, so far as I know, it still doesn’t actually adjudicate rape cases at all. It doesn’t have a trained sexual assault nurse examiner available. RA’s are not given any training about how to report cases they hear about.”
First of all, the idea that Christendom needs to have a trained SANE on staff is a ridiculous recommendation. As far as I’ve been able to tell from the stories out there, few if any penetrative rapes (which is what you generally use a SANE for) occur off-campus. Do you want Christendom to employ a SANE 24/7? No, that’s stupid. It doesn’t have the resources, and its resources would be spent better elsewhere. The local community, on the other hand, should have one. Even if Front royal doesn’t, rape is such a truly serious thing that catching the rapist is worth the 30 minute drive to Winchester.
Second, if RAs don’t have training on reporting rape, yeah, they definitely should.
Third, adjudicate rape cases? The only people that can actually adjudicate them is the legal system. Furthermore, there is at least one story out there where the victim did go to the hospital, did get a rape kit done, and the school did “adjudicate” the case by expelling the man (not the woman).
“Counseling is good, though perhaps you should have mentioned it’s a new initiative just this year.”
My understanding from talking with friends who are alums is that this initiative did not just start this year, but 2 or 3 years ago.
“As for women’s achievements at Christendom … pick up your latest Instaurare, flip through the pages, and see who’s being praised for what achievements. The men are in there for their jobs. The women are there either for having babies or for being nuns. I know Christendom women who have done some really impressive things, but it doesn’t appear that Christendom helped them or is proud of their accomplishments.”
I just picked up (on the website) the most recent instaurare. I have no idea what you are talking about. On their news about alumni section, there is at least one woman on there where they are talking about her getting a PhD? Furthermore, it is a 40th anniversary edition.
Also, you seem to discount how having children is impressive and an accomplishment. Ditto for becoming a nun. You just seem extremely bigoted, like people who use IQ test averages to fuel their racism. There are different kinds of IQ, and different kinds of accomplishment and impressiveness. Seriously, shame on you for criticizing women, by such a nasty implication, who choose to live their lives as mothers or nuns. Do you hate our fellow women that much that you’re willing to say they are somehow less because they don’t achieve what is deemed “successful” for men? Because they achieve what they desire, instead of what you or others might call “real accomplishment”? I don’t know you, so I’m hesitant to say that you are self-loathing, and so I imagine you just misspoke and didn’t mean to demean your fellow woman who has chosen and enjoys the life of motherhood or being a nun, and who sees those things as accomplishments in themselves.
“And professors –well, I’ll excuse you for not knowing, because you aren’t in the classroom with your colleagues when they say these things.”
How much of what you are claiming is related by other people? How many of the rapes or sexual assaults were you present for? The men in those situations might say the same thing you are saying, so why should we find you credible about this stuff?
“But Blum (no longer there) said women shouldn’t vote, and criticized my paper on women’s role in society for saying they should.”
I don’t know who Blum is. I don’t disbelieve you, but I do find it hard to believe this. Do you still have the paper so you can reproduce the remarks he made?
“Marshner is well-known to talk about false rape claims as a common circumstance, which they are not.”
I’ve seen in other places where this claim is disputed about Marshner. My understanding is he just used an example for moral theology. Are you saying that false rape claims should never be discussed?
Also, who knows how common false rape claims are. Rape claims that are adjudicated in court sometimes come to wrong results. Innocent people can be, and probably are convicted, and guilty people can be, and are definitely acquitted. I’ve not personally seen any reliable statistic on this. They aren’t reliable because they are in many ways self-reporting. I’m sorry, as a woman, I often decide how I feel about things after the fact. Sometimes, if I’m honest, that means I misconstrue what happened to make me feel better about myself. I’m not saying that’s all, and I’m definitely not saying that is most alleged victims. My point is that memories are unreliable, uncomfortable and difficult situations often take on proportions that are not just to other participants in the minds of those participants. Its natural, but it also makes self-reporting difficult. Furthermore, what is socially acceptable is not always objectively speaking what should be considered “right” and “wrong.” At frat/sorority parties I’ve attended I’ve had my ass grabbed, and I’ve seen other women get their asses grabbed, and it’s just kind of the culture, and no one claims sexual assault. Though, some look back and blame the men only, even though they brought themselves into that “culture”. (Not saying that culture is good, I’ve changed a lot, and it clearly isn’t. But hey, “if you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen” is a saying for a reason.)
“And Cuddeback said, in a classroom where I was sitting, that women are less in the likeness of God than men are, because we are less rational.”
I don’t know Cuddeback. I wouldn’t be surprised if you mistook him. Talking to others I know who went there, my understanding is that he teaches philosophy, particularly classic philosophy. Sorry, saying the greeks thought a certain way is not saying that that way is true. I imagine there was a mix up there. A good way to clear this up is to shoot him an e-mail and ask, and then to produce his response.
“I had lots of professors that have been the opposite — absolutely encouraging women to do their best, and treating us the same as the male students. But it would be wrong to deny that the opposite did exist too.”
I’d be very surprised to hear or see any professor at a place like Christendom encourage women to not do their best. Perhaps you have a fragile psyche, which might explain your perceptions. I don’t know. I just know common sense and that most people, even conservative Catholics, are not that way.
“Even if Front royal doesn’t, rape is such a truly serious thing that catching the rapist is worth the 30 minute drive to Winchester.”
Is Christendom going to provide transportation? And will they publicize that they will do so?
“Are you saying that false rape claims should never be discussed?”
Did he put at least equal weight on true claims?
I think that the danger of a professor overemphasizing false claims is that students will take away from the lecture the idea that if they are sexually assaulted, they will not be believed. And worse, it has the potential of convincing predators that they can prey and their victims will not be believed.
“I’m sorry, as a woman, I often decide how I feel about things after the fact.”
Lord have mercy.
Do you seriously think that self-deception is a uniquely feminine quality?
Have some self-respect and start saying what you mean and meaning what you say.
“Is Christendom going to provide transportation? And will they publicize that they will do so?”
Wait, why should they provide transportation? What’s wrong with when you’re raped off campus, calling 911? What’s wrong with immediately after being raped on campus with calling 911? Wouldn’t the emergency services provide you transportation? What about friends, or RAs, or anyone?
I don’t understand your point here, or how this obligation would arise on Christendom’s part. It seems that if someone says “I was just raped” and calls 911, or tells a friend, they’re going to get the ride to the hospital. Who has ever denied any of these women a ride? Perhaps you’re not saying someone has, perhaps you misspoke, in which case I get it. This is an emotional topic, and issues get confused. This is not an issue I’ve seen (women who have been raped not being able to get the transportation they need from emergency services, or friends). Maybe someone has mentioned it on the dozens of blogs that have been talking about this in the past few weeks. If what you’re suggesting is “a thing”, then I might be able to get behind such a policy, but as it stands, it seems like a weird demand/requirement/expectation given common sense and common human behavior.
“Did he put at least equal weight on true claims?”
I have no idea, and you don’t have proof one way or another.
“I think that the danger of a professor overemphasizing false claims is that students will take away from the lecture the idea that if they are sexually assaulted, they will not be believed. And worse, it has the potential of convincing predators that they can prey and their victims will not be believed.”
I don’t see how “some women make false claims” = “people will not believe my true claim.” The two are not logically connected, and you further down accuse me of not saying what I mean. You seem to be implying that women are not rational. Frankly, that offends me, and should offfend you in hindsight.
Plus, where is your evidence of any emphasis or over-emphasis on the part of the professor with regard to “false claims”? I don’t even know what you are addressing in his comment.
My initial comment: “I’m sorry, as a woman, I often decide how I feel about things after the fact.”
Amy P’s comment: “Lord have mercy. Do you seriously think that self-deception is a uniquely feminine quality? Have some self-respect and start saying what you mean and meaning what you say.”
First of all, no, I don’t think it is a uniquely feminine quality. And I’m not entirely referring to self-deception if by self-deception you mean something intentional. I absolutely do believe we are more emotional than men on the average. If you don’t, we’ll just have to agree to disagree on that one. And I also believe that emotions tend to cloud issues. Clearly, not everyone who has had their ass grabbed not having fully formed feelings at the time later then claims that they were sexually assaulted. Clearly not even most women do that. My point is more subtle than that and goes to a subset of women of the subset of women who get their asses grabbed. Not every woman who gets their ass grabbed is at a frat/sorority party when it happens. But some who are at parties like that, some I’ve known, color with their later emotions the earlier event in a way that at the time, if questioned about it immediately after the butt grab, they wouldn’t have colored it.
And regard to saying what I mean, I think I’ve made it very clear what I mean in my posts. 🙂
Sheila grew up and a very rigid Catholic community and she now is an atheist.
Keep in mind that Sheila Connolly is a fallen away Catholic (atheist) with an axe to grind.
Which was my own private struggle till a friend of yours dug through my writings to discover this and expose it publicly, against my will. Your side isn’t really looking good with this.
Here’s a big story, if you want it:
MANY, MANY CHRISTENDOM GRADS ARE NO LONGER CATHOLIC.
The admin wants to deny this, because they’re selling parents a guarantee that they can’t provide: send your kids here, and they will be Catholic for life. It isn’t true.
Do I blame Christendom for my loss of faith? No, not really. I had a positive experience there. However, if I’d gone somewhere else, I might still be Catholic. I couldn’t say.
By the way, Lou Massett, it’s rude to print someone’s last name when they aren’t using it with their comments.
For those reading along, let’s save “Harry” the trouble of further researches on my blog (looks like he read hundreds of posts last night, in the wee hours of the morning). You can click over there yourself.
Sheila,
Wasn’t it you who stole screen shots from the Christendom Alumni private Facebook page and shared it with a blogger who used them to defame the alumni community? Or was it another member of the CASC?
Do you really want to discuss online etiquette?