Seven Quick Reasons the author of SGNFP is one classy dame

–1–

When I first submitted the ebook manuscript to Amazon, I got this message:

The book “The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning” you recently submitted to KDP has possible spelling errors in your converted file. Consider correcting these and resubmitting.

Here are the errors we recommend you address by correcting your manuscript:

judgey
providentialism
caritas
intercoursal
coitalicious

That advice, I did not take.

–2–

If you order it new, full price, from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or from the publisher, you can get it for under $10. But if you are really into taking advantage of those special financing offers, you might want to snap up this deal:

My cart is eligible! I feel so privileged.

–3–

At no point in any part of this book do I suggest that a typical example of someone who has a legitimate reason to avoid pregnancy is someone who is in a concentration camp.

–4–

The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning was written by someone who feels comfortable quoting Pope Pius XII’s Address to Italian Midwives, and then backing it up with a picture of thumbs-up Garfield. New Evangelization FTW!* Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

PIC thumbs-up Garfield

–5–

If you read it, you will become qualified to weigh in on the debate of the century: who sounds more uncomfortable? The priest interviewer trying to delicately ask why a woman who had nine children in sixteen years is qualified to speak about family planning? Or me, trying to answer that question while ignoring the child wailing, “Mamaaaaaaa, Boomer frew up on the tweadmiwwwwwwwwww!” outside the bedroom door?