SIMCHA FISHER

What’s for supper? Vol. 425: Two pies for Millie

Happy Friday! Before we get to the food, I want to acknowledge the passing of my beautiful friend Millie, age 90.

She had a rough couple of last months, but rallied so much at the end, everyone thought she was getting better. She visited her grandchildren and ate a lobster, and then she died in the night.

I really loved her, and she loved me. I don’t know if you could say we knew each other deeply, but we felt strangely sympatico and enjoyed each other a lot. Please pray for Millie and her family!

Okay, Millie would totally agree it’s time to talk about food now. Here’s what we had:

SATURDAY
Leftovers and pizza pockets

We had tons of leftover chicken because two of my brothers and two of my nephews had been over on Thursday. In fact they came back in the evening after dinner on Saturday, so we had them a total of three nights! I haven’t seen my brother Jake or his kids in years, and it was pretty great. Sonny has literally never been happier. I don’t know what it was, but he feel hysterically in love with Jacob and stayed dialed up to eleven the whole time he was here. They were incredibly good sports about it.

The cat was not. I guess he felt left out, and sulked in the bathroom much of the time, and only started gracing us with his presence again a few days ago. It’s so funny. When I was growing up, cats were mainly decorative creatures that you didn’t interact with much. I was not prepared to even be aware of this much of the emotional life of animals!

SUNDAY
Pork spiedies, fries, berry crumble

Sunday of course we all went to Mass, and then after we had some final donuts and the fellers started their long drive home, I got some pork marinating for supper,

Jump to Recipe

then roped the kids into moving some rocks around for me, and I started rearranging the garden in front of the house. This involved excavating and moving a giant granite post and digging up many dozens of day lilies, and I don’t really have a clear plan yet, but I certainly did dig up a lot of day lilies.

The plan is to make the path diagonal to the door, rather than perpendicular to the house. I thinnnnnk I’m going to build a sort of permanent stone wall/planter under the double windows on the right, and then fill everything in with shade perennials. We do have a lot of rocks. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this.

Supper was spiedies. The pork is cut into chunks and marinated — and if you do this recipe, do try to get fresh mint, because it really makes a difference! — and then you roast or grill that along with a bunch of pepper and onion chunks.

Actually I made two pans, and roasted the meat in one and the veg in the other, and then combined them. I mention this so you don’t think it’s okay to crowd the pan.

Then you toast some rolls and spread them with mayo, and pile on the meat and vegetables.

Ohhh. So good.

It was ice cream sundaes for dessert, and I got a little offended at how much they wanted for a little bottle of caramel sauce, so I tried that Instant Pot recipe for caramel sauce. You take the labels and tops off the cans of caramel, cover the tops with tinfoil, put them on a trivet, and add water around the cans, halfway up. Then you close the lid and pressure cook for 40 minutes. You’re supposed to do a quick release, but I forgot I was making caramel, so it did a natural release.

So, the important thing to know here is that one of these cans turned out to be fat free sweetened condensed milk. God alone knows what that could possibly be made of, but I certainly didn’t buy it on purpose. But when I read that you were supposed to take the labels off anyway, I surrendered to my fate and just cooked them both.

When I took the tinfoil off, it was pretty obvious which was which.

Or, it was pretty obvious that they were two different kinds of condensed milk. Hmm.

Anyway, you let them cool for a bit, then add some vanilla and beat it up until it’s smooth. One was a little lumpier than the other and wasn’t getting smooth fast enough with fork beating, so I threw them both in the Kitchen Aid and whisked them together.

And that was the most delicious caramel I’ve ever eaten. It tasted like Werther’s. I guess probably I’ll be just buying regular sweetened condensed milk, but I’ll definitely make this again.

Note: When it cools, it gets a little blobby, so if you want caramel that oozes, you should warm it up.

MONDAY
Grilled ham and cheese, vegetables and dip

Monday I sat myself down and sternly reminded myself that, harsh and unjust as it may sound, someone who wishes to call herself a writer, and in fact who wishes be paid for writing, must actually write something at some point. So I wiggled and whined and complained and got up to clean a bunch of stuff, but eventually ground out a couple of essays.

It was Memorial Day and the kids were home, and there was lots of fresh whipped cream left over from the sundaes, so I figured I might as well make dessert with all the berries I got because they were on sale. I can’t find the recipe I used, but I seem to remember I fudged it anyway, and then I got confused with the struesel topping and didn’t use enough flour, and by the time I figured that out, it had already gone pasty, and was not going to be streuselly at all.

However, you can’t really go wrong with blueberries and strawberries with something sweet baked onto the top.

It turned out just about every person living in that house had been helping themselves to the big bowl of whipped cream in the fridge, which I can’t complain about because I didn’t tell them not to, and also because I ate about half of it myself, so there was only a little bit of fairly deflated cream left, and it was actually the perfect companion to my hot berry splat

It was splatty and DELICIOUS. Man, I love berry season.

TUESDAY
Fish tacos, guacamole and chips

Tuesday we had a meeting, and it turned out that Damien and I were not actually needed, so we ended up just chilling in a waiting room for an hour, and it was actually lovely.

Got home and made some quick guacamole

Jump to Recipe

and we had fish tacos with batter-fried fish from frozen, sour cream, salsa, guacamole, cilantro, lime wedges, and — not shredded cabbage, because they didn’t have cabbage (#aldistyle), so instead I put out one of those bags of chopped Asian salads, which is mostly cabbage.

We haven’t had fish tacos for a while, and they were great.

Didn’t even notice the rogue carrot shreds.

And yes, I wrote another essay.

WEDNESDAY
Chicken pie with bacon

Wednesday was the day I found out Millie had died. I had been meaning and meaning and meaning to go see her, but I wasn’t even sure if she was home or at the nursing home, so I called her house and no one answered, so I called the nursing home, and they put me through to her room, but no one picked up. So I figured I would just go. But I didn’t want to come empty handed, so I made a couple of mini pies for her, hoping she’d be well enough to eat them. She loves chicken pie.

Here’s my chicken pie recipe. It really outrageously savory and tasty. It has bacon, leeks, potatoes, and chicken. (I’ll put my recipe for pie crust below the chicken pie filling recipe.)

Jump to Recipe

I cut out little feathers for the top of the crust, brushed them with duck egg yolk, and baked them up. Very pretty.

Then I went to the nursing home and they were like, yes, she’s here, no, we can’t find her name, no, she’s not here, we’re sorry, we don’t know. And I got a pretty bad feeling, so I called Millie’s daughter, and that’s when I got the news. She was so apologetic that they hadn’t called, if you can imagine — I’m just the neighbor! — but I think they actually did, and I didn’t pick up because I didn’t recognize the number.

So, well, I pulled over to the shoulder of the highway and bawled for a while. Then I went to the chapel and said a decade for Millie. I still had time before I had to get the kids, and I couldn’t think of anything else to do, so I mooched around a thrift store and found a Lady and the Unicorn tapestry pillow which I was pretty sure Clara needed, and I was right about that.

It turned out she was still at work, so I traded her the pillow for a bunch of fresh baguettes, a day-old sourdough loaf, and some pastries. She went with me on the school run and I was pretty glad to have some company. Then we all went home and, well, ate bread steadily until it was supper time. Like it says in the Bible, when you are sad, eat bread, and then pie. I think it’s in Proverbs.

The pie was gorgeous.

The potatoes were a tiny bit underdone, though, so I put it back in the oven and finished it up. Man. Really nice crust, too – thin and flaky.

It didn’t exactly hold together as a solid, but I don’t know if that’s what you want in chicken pie anyway.

That evening, I was potting some flowers and some of Millie’s children came over with some beautiful handmade items from her house — a quilt, some sets of placemats, and two quilted bags. Lovely. They invited me to come in and pick out anything else I might want. So I went over and it turns out she had an entire room I didn’t know about, and it was absolutely stuffed with every conceivable kind of fabric. I had to laugh because she always talked about how cluttered her house was, and I always said it didn’t seem that cluttered to me; but I guess the whole time, even if she didn’t go in there, she could FEEL that other room. I know she had plans for all of that fabric, too. Quilts, bags, clothes for her grandkids, clothes for her grandkids’ dolls, and so on and so on. I have never met a more hardworking person in my life.

Really wish I had gone to see her one day sooner. I really do. If there is someone you have been meaning to visit, please go ahead and do it now!

THURSDAY
Bo ssam, rice, steamed broccoli, pickled carrots and radishes

On Wednesday, I got a hunk of pork brining for bo ssam. On Thursday morning, I took a look at the schedule and realized it was going to be a DOOZY, so I started the pork cooking in the Instant Pot, rather than in a low oven. I also threw a bunch of carrots and radishes in the food processor and started them quick pickling.

Then I duct taped myself to my computer and wrote another essay. Also got the kids to Mass (Ascension Thursday is still on Thursday in our diocese!), took a kid to a meeting at the school she’s transferring to, got cash for a field trip, went back to Millie’s house and got a dresser, and picked up the kids, and we had a schedule complication where a kid had to be at a place and she was okay with being early but not THAT early, so we launched Operation Kill Time Without Spending Money, and lurked about at the park for a while. I did lose Corrie, because of course I did, but then we found her, and got home.

My friends, that house smelled of FEET. Very bad feet, like malevolent. Feet that want you dead and damned. I was kind of baffled, because the windows are open and yes, we have teenagers, but we also had teenagers yesterday and it didn’t smell like this yesterday. So I did some sniff-sleuthing, and figured it out.

It was the pickled radishes.

I have made pickled radishes before! They just smelled like vinegar! I have no idea what happened here, but BLURGH.

I mean, yes, I ate them. In the car, on the way to the art gallery, because goodness knows it didn’t already smell bad enough in my car already.

Also I had two hampers full of canned goods from Millie’s pantry, because I am gonna bring them to Vincent de Paul, but first I have to make sure they’re not eleven years old.

Oh, so the bossam was actually not that great. It came out of the IP kinda dry and tough, and I was a little low on brown sugar, so when I put the last little topping on and put it in the oven to glaze up, it was a little lackluster

and I mean that literally. It usually comes out of the oven absolutely GLEAMING. And I forgot to get lettuce to wrap the meat and wrice in. But it was fine.

Oh, I forgot to link to the recipe. Here it is. I don’t usually make the extra sauce; I just do the salt and sugar brining, and then the brown sugar-cider vinegar-salt thing for the top. And usually it turns out great!

Poor Damien has been driving around all week and went straight from Concord to the court house in Keene to the art show. Anyway, Lucy’s work was extremely cool, as usual.

Blessedly, Sophia took the other kids to see the art show after they ate, and stayed to bring Lucy home afterward, because Damien and I were just about deconstructed with exhaustion. Damien’s been doing a million extra things this week — getting the pool into shape, performing minor surgery on one of the ducks, fixing the lawn mower, and so on. And just cheerfully agreed to figure out how to move the hose spigot to the outside of the house, so I don’t have to go in the scary basement.

The baby ducks have been spending their whole day outdoors this week, and only coming inside for the night. They get along great with the big ducks! Coin immediately recognized them as Guys He Is In Charge Of, and busily herded them toward the pen where the food is. So I have no worries that they’ll do fine when they start spending their nights in the duck house. They need to grow some more grownup feathers, so they stay warm and dry enough.

They still pile themselves on top of each other all the time, which cracks me up. They have NO concept of personal space, and basically live on top of each other as often as they can, despite having an acre of land to roam around on; but they are also apparently completely oblivious of each other.

I am so very fond of these dumb, dumb creatures. We don’t know yet if they’re girls or boys, though. If there is one boy, that will be fine, in proportion to the number of females we have — but if there are two or more boys, we’re gonna have to figure some things out!

Right now, Shaq and Tulip (the pekins) are still yeeping, and only Zippy has learned how to quack. Hilarious.

FRIDAY
Spaghetti

Today, I’m gonna go back to Millie’s house and get her bed, which feels A LITTLE WEIRD, but it’s a beautiful little carved wooden bed, painted white, and Corrie really needs a bed. Millie would be so absolutely delighted to know that she’s getting it.

And we shall have spaghetti for supper. One of the kids mentioned that we are having spaghetti a lot lately. And she is right! We are.

5 from 1 vote

White Lady From NH's Guacamole

Ingredients

4 avocados
1 medium tomato, diced
1 medium jalapeno, minced
1/2 cup cilantro, chopped roughly
1 Tbsp minced garlic
2 limes juiced
1 tsp chili powder
salt and pepper
1/2 red onion, diced

Instructions

Peel avocados. Mash two and dice two.
Mix together with rest of ingredients and add seasonings.
Cover tightly, as it becomes discolored quickly.

5 from 1 vote

pork spiedies (can use marinade for shish kebob)

Ingredients

1 cup veg or olive oil
1/4 cup lemon juice
1/2 cup red or white wine vinegar
4 tsp red pepper flakes
2 Tbsp sugar
1 cup fresh mint, chopped
8-10 cloves garlic, crushed
4-5 lbs boneless pork, cubed
peppers, onions, mushrooms, tomatoes, cut into chunks

Instructions

Mix together all marinade ingredients.

Mix up with cubed pork, cover, and marinate for several hours or overnight.

Best cooked over hot coals on the grill on skewers with vegetables. Can also spread in a shallow pan with veg and broil under a hot broiler.

Serve in sandwiches or with rice.

5 from 1 vote

Rebecca's chicken bacon pie

Ingredients

double recipe of pie crust
1 pound bacon, diced
4 ribs celery, diced OR one big bunch of leeks, diced
1 onion, diced
1 bunch thyme, finely chopped
3 chicken breasts, diced
2-3 potatoes, peeled and diced
6 Tbsp butter
6 Tbsp flour
3 cups concentrated chicken broth (I use almost double the amount of bouillon to make this)
2 Tbsp pepper
egg yolk for brushing on top crust

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 425.
In a large pan, cook the bacon pieces until they are browned. Take the cooked bacon out and pour off most of the grease.
Add the onion and celery to the remaining bacon grease and cook, stirring, until soft. Return the bacon to the pan.
Add the thyme, pepper, and butter and cook until butter is melted. Add the flour and whisk, cooking for another few minutes.
Whisk in the chicken broth and continue cooking for a few more minutes until it thickens up. Stir in the chicken and potato and keep warm, stirring occasionally, until you're ready to use it.
Pour filling into bottom crust, cover with top crust, brush with beaten egg. Bake, uncovered, for about an hour. If it is browning too quickly, cover loosely with tin foil.

5 from 1 vote

Basic pie crust

Ingredients

2-1/2 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
1-1/2 sticks butter, FROZEN
1/4 cup water, with an ice cube

Instructions

Freeze the butter for at least 20 minutes, then shred it on a box grater. Set aside.
Put the water in a cup and throw an ice cube in it. Set aside.
In a bowl, combine the flour and salt. Then add the shredded butter and combine with a butter knife or your fingers until there are no piles of loose, dry flour. Try not to work it too hard. It's fine if there are still visible nuggets of butter.
Sprinkle the dough ball with a little iced water at a time until the dough starts to become pliable but not sticky. Use the water to incorporate any remaining dry flour.
If you're ready to roll out the dough, flour a surface, place the dough in the middle, flour a rolling pin, and roll it out from the center.
If you're going to use it later, wrap it tightly in plastic wrap. You can keep it in the fridge for several days or in the freezer for several months, if you wrap it with enough layers. Let it return to room temperature before attempting to roll it out!
If the crust is too crumbly, you can add extra water, but make sure it's at room temp. Sometimes perfect dough is crumbly just because it's too cold, so give it time to warm up.
You can easily patch cracked dough by rolling out a patch and attaching it to the cracked part with a little water. Pinch it together.

5 from 1 vote

quick-pickled carrots and/or cucumbers for banh mi, bibimbap, ramen, tacos, etc.

An easy way to add tons of bright flavor and crunch to a meal. We pickle carrots and cucumbers most often, but you can also use radishes, red onions, daikon, or any firm vegetable.

Ingredients

6-7 medium carrots, peeled
1 lb mini cucumbers (or 1 lg cucumber)

For the brine (make double if pickling both carrots and cukes)

1 cup water
1/2 cup rice vinegar (other vinegars will also work; you'll just get a slightly different flavor)
1/2 cup sugar
1 Tbsp kosher salt

Instructions

Mix brine ingredients together until salt and sugar are dissolved.
Slice or julienne the vegetables. The thinner they are, the more flavor they pick up, but the more quickly they will go soft, so decide how soon you are going to eat them and cut accordingly!
Add them to the brine so they are submerged.
Cover and let sit for a few hours or overnight or longer. Refrigerate if you're going to leave them overnight or longer.

Finding the sweet spot: Courtney Eschbach-Wells on singing at Mass

Courtney Eschbach-Wells has a “do not play” list for her funeral. Eschbach-Wells, 44, is not facing the grim reaper just yet, but as a lawyer, she likes to have her affairs in order. She’s also of Slavic descent, so she’s “morbid by nature,” she said.

Most importantly, she is a Catholic cantor, and over the last 20 years singing at St. Joseph’s Cathedral in the Diocese of Manchester, New Hampshire, she’s had abundant time to form strong opinions about hymns.

Eschbach-Wells, who has a clear, bright soprano voice, can’t remember a time when she didn’t sing.

“It’s as natural as breathing for me,” she said.

She sings in her garden, she sings to her chickens and her bees, she sang to her baby (now 14), she sings while commuting to work as a bill drafter for the New Hampshire General Court, and she tries not to distract her co-workers at the State House by singing at her desk.

She also has some strong opinions about that age-old question: why (other) Catholics don’t sing.

“We’re not a singing culture,” she said. “We don’t have a sporting culture where we sing; we don’t have a going-out culture where we sing.”

The one exception is karaoke, but that’s mainly something to do with a group of friends who have had too much to drink. Americans simply don’t readily sing in groups with people they don’t know, and that includes at Mass.

The popular recorded music people hear every day is so highly produced, it’s intimidating, Eschbach-Wells said, and makes them think they can’t sing unless they sound like that.

“But a good choir does not need a ton of Taylor Swifts. It just needs people who can try, and who can try to learn.”

That doesn’t mean any liturgical music will do.

“You’re trying to find that sweet spot where the choir serves two functions: song leadership, singing the hymn so you have voices to follow; and also providing something where, at certain points in the Mass, your active participation can be just listening. So the music works two ways,” she said.

And music does work, in a way that nothing else can.

“Music takes you out of yourself. It reaches a different part of your brain,” Eschbach-Wells said. For her, it’s old English hymns that hit the mark.

“There’s something about it that always plucks that perfect chord in my heart, like when you hit a tennis ball with a racket in just the right spot: ‘Ahhh, yeah, that’s it,” she said.

But the words of the hymn are important, too. Hymns are a wonderful way to learn Scripture; and sometimes they can hit an unsuspecting ear with surprising sharpness…. Read the rest of my latest for Our Sunday Visitor.

This profile first appeared in OSV Magazine. Photos by Michael Richards.

What’s for supper? Vol. 424: How I learned to stop worrying and love the Fire Cherry Bomb Pop eXtremes: Spice to Nice

Happy Friday! We are having a COUSIN day, which happens all too infrequently. My brother is up with two of his sons, and they and Corrie are happily working out the rules of some complicated board game.

SATURDAY
Japanese food

Saturday was an uncharacteristically sociable day for the Fishers. Corrie had a birthday party, Lucy had her senior prom, for which she dressed in the way she saw fit:

and Damien and I went Out. Lena had bought tickets to Stephen Malkmus, but couldn’t make it, so she gave them to us. First we went out to eat at the new Japanese restaurant in town, and had some very delicious steak tips

then we got gelato and strolled around

and then it was concert time! Super fun.

It has taken me almost 30 years, but I have finally warmed up to Stephen Malkmus/Pavement (whereas Damien has been a longtime fan). I do think about an hour was as long as I want to hear it at one time, though. It escaped me, previously, how sad some of the songs are. Being there live and letting the layers of sound reverberate around and seep in was really quite moving. What do you know about that!

Lucy’s prom was on a boat on a lake (they opted to spend their money on boat tickets, rather than on a bunch of balloon arches and streamers and bubble machines, and I think that was brilliant), and it rained and thundered the whole time, but they had a good time. We all had a good time!

SUNDAY
Chicken on salad, strawberry rhubarb pie

Sunday I had to go shopping, and also did a bit of gardening. The original plan was to make a salad with chicken, almonds, and strawberries, but I had the first rhubarb of the season from my garden, so instead, I made some croutons to bulk up the salad (greens, chicken, toasted almonds, feta cheese, and croutons)

and then used the strawberries for a pie. I never have the proportions that any strawberry-rhubarb pie calls for, but it doesn’t really matter. I can’t find the recipe I followed, but it was a pretty simple one. I think it just used flour to thicken it.

I made a big batch of pie crust

Jump to Recipe

and made one really big pie, with a very sloppy lattice crust

Not bad! I took this picture to show that you can leave the rhubarb in much smaller pieces than I previously realized, and it still tastes good.

I love rhubarb so much.

MONDAY
Pokish bowls

I had shrimp from something or other that I had defrosted but didn’t cook, so I wanted to use it today; but most of the family (bafflingly) doesn’t like shrimp. SO I bought some ahi tuna for poke bowls, which just about everybody does like.
BHUT, I realized that the kind of tuna I’ve been serving raw is maybe not super duper the kind you are supposed to eat unless you’re trying to acquire a really close and personal group of friends, by which I mean parasites. Oops.

So I looked up how to cook tuna, and it turns out you’re just supposed to sear it really quickly. I truly do not understand how this is safer than eating it raw, but this is what all the pictures looked like. (The kids requested just plain, no seasonings crusting the outside.)

However, I don’t see any signs that we have worms or anything, so I guess it’s fine? I don’t know.

I also sauteed up the shrimp really quickly with a little Taijin seasoning, and I made a big pot of rice, and we had the fish and shrimp and rice, plus salt and pepper cashews, sugar snap peas, and mangoes, and sesame seeds.

Delicious. I see that I also got some frozen pot stickers, which I don’t really remember, but that’s why I take pictures!

TUESDAY
Bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches

Tuesday was the day I decided to Do Something About The Egg Situation. We have a huge backlog of duck eggs, which the kids will eat if they’re baked into something, but if they’re still eggform, they don’t like them.

So I cleaned out an old broken mini fridge, set it up on the side of the road with an ice pack, printed out and framed my PayPal and Venmo QR codes, and painted a big sign:

I am selling them six for $4 and $7 for a dozen, which is pretty cheap considering how big they are, but I sure have a lot of eggs! I’ve gotten a few sales, and I feel pretty good about it.

For supper, Corrie helped me fry up a few pounds of bacon

and I fried up a bunch of chicken eggs in the iron frying pan. I rustled up a bunch of mason jar rings and sprayed them with cooking spray, just to keep the eggs a little bit contained. It worked pretty well!

I let them cook most of the way, plucked the rings off, and then flipped them briefly.

Yummy sandwiches.

Mine had American cheese, because sometimes that’s exactly what you want.

WEDNESDAY
Carnitas, tortilla chips, beans and rice

Wednesday I made the fastest carnitas ever. I used this great recipe

Jump to Recipe

except I used Diet Cherry Coke and tangerines, and it’s such a great recipe that it still turned out great. I actually just let the tangerine peels cook right down and then mashed them into the meat, rather than fishing them out, and it was great. I spread the meat out on a tray and threw it under a very hot broiler for a few minutes, and oh man. Good stuff.

We had a bunch of leftover rice from the poke bowls, so I sauteed up some garlic and onions, then a whole bunch of spinach, a can of kidney beans with the liquid, and a bunch of jarred salsa, plus cumin and chili powder and maybe some paprika. It was excellent.

I had my carnitas with sour cream, salsa, and plenty of cilantro, and it was such a nice meal, I skipped the chips.

THURSDAY
Oven fried chicken, corn on the cob, chips, strawberry shortcake

Thursday two of my brothers came over! I haven’t seen them for such a long time.

We had oven fried chicken, corn on the cob, chips, and strawberries on angel food cake with whipped cream. I forgot to take any pics of dinner, but it turned out pretty great. Very satisfying on a cold, drizzly day. Here’s the chicken recipe:

Jump to Recipe

and it was definitely the right call to do store-bought cake and canned whipped cream, so I could use up all my energy yucking it up with my brothers.

I also got a fairly insane alternate dessert from Aldi:

Fire Cherry Bomb Pop eXtremes: Spice to Nice. I don’t even know what this could be, but I’m anticipating some kind of cinnamon situation, like Atomic Fireballs? We haven’t eaten them yet, so I will report back. I am grateful that I don’t have the job of coming up with completely new kinds of food every six weeks, though.

FRIDAY
Spaghetti

My brother and his kids were very good sports about camping out in the living room with the dog, who is hysterically in love with them, but mostly my brother, and the dog is . . . well, he’s getting confused about what kind of emotions he’s feeling, but they are quite intense. So that’s exciting for everybody.

And in the time it took me to finish this post, the game has gone the way of so many board games, alas. Maybe we need some Fire Cherry Bomb Pop eXtremes: Spice to Nices to smooth things over.

5 from 1 vote

Basic pie crust

Ingredients

2-1/2 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
1-1/2 sticks butter, FROZEN
1/4 cup water, with an ice cube

Instructions

Freeze the butter for at least 20 minutes, then shred it on a box grater. Set aside.
Put the water in a cup and throw an ice cube in it. Set aside.
In a bowl, combine the flour and salt. Then add the shredded butter and combine with a butter knife or your fingers until there are no piles of loose, dry flour. Try not to work it too hard. It's fine if there are still visible nuggets of butter.
Sprinkle the dough ball with a little iced water at a time until the dough starts to become pliable but not sticky. Use the water to incorporate any remaining dry flour.
If you're ready to roll out the dough, flour a surface, place the dough in the middle, flour a rolling pin, and roll it out from the center.
If you're going to use it later, wrap it tightly in plastic wrap. You can keep it in the fridge for several days or in the freezer for several months, if you wrap it with enough layers. Let it return to room temperature before attempting to roll it out!
If the crust is too crumbly, you can add extra water, but make sure it's at room temp. Sometimes perfect dough is crumbly just because it's too cold, so give it time to warm up.
You can easily patch cracked dough by rolling out a patch and attaching it to the cracked part with a little water. Pinch it together.

Carnitas (very slightly altered from John Herreid's recipe)

Ingredients

large hunk pork (butt or shoulder, but can get away with loin)
2 oranges, quartered
2-3 cinnamon sticks
4-5 bay leaves
salt, pepper, oregano
1 cup oil
1 can Coke

Instructions

Cut the pork into chunks and season them heavily with salt, pepper, and oregano.
Put them in a heavy pot with the cup of oil, the Coke, the quartered orange, cinnamon sticks, and bay leaves
Simmer, uncovered, for at least two hours
Remove the orange peels, cinnamon sticks, and bay leaves
Turn up the heat and continue cooking the meat until it darkens and becomes very tender and crisp on the outside
Remove the meat and shred it. Serve on tortillas.

Beans and rice

A good side dish, a main course for meatless meals, or to serve inside carnitas, etc.

Ingredients

3 cups uncooked white rice
1 15-oz cans red or black beans, drained
1 20-oz can diced tomatoes with some of the juice
1 diced jalapeno
1/2 cup cilantro, chopped roughly
1 small red onion, diced
2 Tbsp minced garlic
chili powder
cumin
salt and pepper

Instructions

Cook rice. Add rest of ingredients, adjusting spices to taste. If it's too dry, add more tomato juice.

Oven-fried chicken

so much easier than pan frying, and you still get that crisp skin and juicy meat

Ingredients

chicken parts (wings, drumsticks, thighs)
milk (enough to cover the chicken at least halfway up)
eggs (two eggs per cup of milk)
flour
your choice of seasonings (I usually use salt, pepper, garlic powder, cumin, paprika, and chili powder)
oil and butter for cooking

Instructions

At least three hours before you start to cook, make an egg and milk mixture and salt it heavily, using two eggs per cup of milk, so there's enough to soak the chicken at least halfway up. Beat the eggs, add the milk, stir in salt, and let the chicken soak in this. This helps to make the chicken moist and tender.
About 40 minutes before dinner, turn the oven to 425, and put a pan with sides into the oven. I use a 15"x21" sheet pan and I put about a cup of oil and one or two sticks of butter. Let the pan and the butter and oil heat up.
While it is heating up, put a lot of flour in a bowl and add all your seasonings. Use more than you think is reasonable! Take the chicken parts out of the milk mixture and roll them around in the flour until they are coated on all sides.
Lay the floured chicken in the hot pan, skin side down. Let it cook for 25 minutes.
Flip the chicken over and cook for another 20 minutes.
Check for doneness and serve immediately. It's also great cold.

If you’re doing the work, why give credit to God?

Humans of New York is a deservedly popular photoblog featuring people on the street, along with excerpts from conversations about their lives. The other day, it featured a young woman who looks frankly at the camera and packs a tremendous amount of life into her statement.

She begins, “I was feeling frustrated.” She had been volunteering at a food pantry and hated how they were “meeting people’s physical needs, but not their relational needs.” Because she is pro-life, she prayed about what to do, and she and a friend started a group for new moms at her church.

“That first night nobody showed up, but by then I was convinced that God wanted me to do this,” she said.

So she kept promoting it, and before long a pregnant mother with two toddlers needed help desperately, so her group stepped up and helped her through the birth and beyond.

“She later told me that she’d never experienced that sort of unconditional love. And that’s exactly what we wanted. To create a place where people could feel known and loved,” she said.

The group grew in strength and size, meeting weekly and continuing to have intense conversations in the parking lot after the group closed for the night.

She says: “We’d been meeting for about eighteen months when I had my miscarriage…. I remember how much I was looking forward to the next meeting, because I knew that people were going to, like—love me…. I remember thinking: ‘Wow. I’m not sure what I would do without this group.’”

This extraordinary witness garnered the standard things people say when someone calls themselves “pro-life.” Pro-lifers loved her and said that they knew lots of people like her. Some pro-choicers admired her work and praised her consistency. A few pro-choicers snarkily tapped out because the phrase “pro-life” gave them an insurmountable ick.

But there were also several iterations of a different comment that worried me: They liked her work, but criticized her for giving credit to God. Here’s a typical example:

She’s amazing. But something that gives me pause about this post is that this woman cares deeply for her community and was inspired to help them through her humanity, but chalks it up to God wanting her to do it. Like, no. Celebrate your ability to feel empathy and act on it. It has nothing to do with God. It’s so ingrained in religious communities to think so poorly of yourself that you can’t recognize your own successes as your own.

I reread the passage a few times, thinking I had missed some uncomfortably fanatical passage where the woman in the photo says she is a mere worm or nothing but a useless vessel through which God works. But all she said was that she was convinced God wanted her to do it.

She barely even mentioned anything spiritual or divine. Her whole statement was about understanding that it is her duty to build human relationships because that’s what people need. She was elbow-deep in the nitty-gritty human end of her faith from day one, and by the end of her remarkable short witness, she showed how her work, meant to benefit other people, ended up serving and saving her, as well. She doesn’t “think poorly of herself” at all, that I can see. She does, however, recognize that there is more going on in her life than, well, her.

Why do we have trouble believing people who say they do something because God called them to do it? When a star athlete says he owes his victory to his grandma, who always believed in him, nobody complains. When a groundbreaking researcher credits an elementary school librarian who said he could do great things one day, that is universally considered nice and good and heartwarming. But when a Christian says, “I did this because God wanted me to,” then suddenly it is psychologically unhealthy or a sign of poor self-esteem. Why?

The obvious reason is that people don’t believe in God. So hearing “God wanted me to do it” comes across as, “I did it because The Octopus King, mighty are his suckered arms, hath willed it.” It sounds nuts.

But I think it also points to something possibly even sadder than not believing in God: They don’t realize that what we are supposed to have with God is a relationship. A real, literal relationship, something with give and take and affection and humor, sacrifice and insight and gratitude, something that any normal human being would recognize as a relationship. This is what we are supposed to have with God.

And yes, sometimes he asks us to do things. Very often, the things he asks us to do end up being the things we ourselves need.

Why do so many non-Christians fail to see this? Partly because of the hypocritical example of famous Christians. There’s no doubt about that: If you’re on TV and you make a point of saying you’re Christian, there is a chance you are about to do something vicious and cruel. That doesn’t help.

But the other reason is that Christians also don’t see it.

Read the rest of my latest for America Magazine.

Image source (public domain)

What’s for supper? Vol. 423: A week of winging it

Happy Friday! I remember the days when I used to huddle on the toilet with my laptop, getting as much writing done as I could while the kids were occupied in the bath. Now my kids are older, my time is more and more my own, and I’m sitting here drying off from the incredibly rowdy sink bath I just gave the ducklings, trying to get some writing in before, I don’t know what, the end of the month, or the end of the world.

The whole week has been something of a rowdy sink bath, which I guess means it got the job done, but it wasn’t necessarily the kind of thing that would make people want to eat in my kitchen.

Actually I ended up with some pretty tasty meals, considering the lack of planning. And the surfeit of ducks.

Here’s what we had:

SATURDAY
Aldi pizza

Damien is slowly recovering, but he’s been SO sick with bronchitis, and dang, that man does a lot around the house. Which I try to notice when he’s doing it, but I REALLY notice it when he’s not doing it. So I made the executive decision to skip the dump run this week and just do the Walmart shopping, and then we went to Moe’s college graduation! Summa cum laude, with a special award in literature!

The speakers were truly terrible (Jodi Picoult, who basically just bragged about how some people couldn’t handle it when she wrote “erection” in one of her books, so thanks for that, Jodi), but we’re extremely proud of Moe. The next day he moved to his new apartment, and the next day, he started his new job as youth librarian at a public library! But on Saturday, we went and got yummy Chinese food with the graduate, and the kids at home had Aldi pizza.

SUNDAY
Burgers, chips

Sunday was Mother’s Day, Damien (still quite sick!) was rushing to finish fixing Moe’s brakes, and the kids were helping him move, so I had a very satisfying afternoon uprooting some chokecherry trees that were threatening a baby lilac

and then we had a tasty meal of burgers and chips, with coconut custard pie for dessert.

Yeah man. Nothing like a burger after yard work. Like I said on Facebook, the kids gave me truly excellent presents, not least of which was seeing everybody pitching in to help each other out because they love each other.

Good stuff. Good kids. Good day.

MONDAY
Pasta with spicy spinach sausage sauce (?)

I went shopping again on Monday and picked up a little food without a clear plan. Got home and made a sauce with what we had.

I squeezed about a pound of hot Italian sausage out of its casings and browned that up, then added some diced onion and a lot of roughly-chopped garlic. Then I added oregano, a lot of paprika, and a little cayenne pepper, a can of pureed tomatoes and a can of crushed tomato and a big slosh of red wine, and then I cooked in a big bag of baby spinach until it was all cooked down.

I mixed it up with a few pounds of cooked penne, and served it with freshly-grated parmesan on top. I wasn’t really sure if people would like it, even though it smelled fantastic, so I made four big loaves of french bread.

Here’s my recipe for that:

Jump to Recipe

I proofed the dough in the slow cooker set to “keep warm,” and it came out super puffy, which is fine with me.

People scoff at puffy fluffy American-style bread, but you know what? It is puffy and fluffy, and some people are into that! You know, one time someone referred to me as “that great whale of a woman,” and it really stuck in my head. I guess I have a certain sympathy for sort of loosely-shaped, warm and blobby creations, be they whales or women or loaves of bread. Or be they whatever.

Anyway, it was a nice meal, although a little spicier than I meant it to be.

I did like the combination of the paprika and the spinach. I started abruptly loving spinach during my first pregnancy, and I have never looked back.

TUESDAY
Spicy chicken sandwiches, chopped salad

I had a bunch of chicken thighs and decided it would be worth my while to skin and bone them to make these wonderful sandwiches, so I prepped that before we had to get a kid to not one but two medical appointments. Which turned out to be mighty frustrating, so I was glad we had a delicious supper.

The recipe calls for whole shishito peppers, but I had a bunch of red, orange, and yellow bell peppers instead, so I just cut them into big slabs, browned them up a bit in the seasoned oil that the chicken had cooked it, and then finished them under the broiler.

Isn’t that beautiful?

The sandwiches were tasty as always. I used Tony Cachere’s seasoning on the chicken, and I guess some kind of bulky rolls, and we had the roast peppers, raw red onion, melted American cheese, and BBQ sauce.

One of my all-time favorite sandwiches.

I had a couple of bags of some kind of Southwestern chopped salad kits that were on sale that I kept forgetting to serve last week, and they turned out to be kind of a coleslaw-style mix of chopped cabbages, with crunchy tortilla strips and some sort of shredded cheese, and I guess chipotle dressing. They were fine.

WEDNESDAY
Sausage potato asparagus soup, french toast casserole

Wednesday I had a bit of a dilemma: I had to make supper, and yet I had not gone shopping for supper, and the only reason a moth didn’t fly out of my wallet was because I couldn’t find my purse. So I mooched around the kitchen a bit and found: Sausage I bought for pasta but didn’t cook, some very old potatoes, an old onion, and some more asparagus from the garden,

and a leftover loaf of fluffy puffy french bread. And a stray pouch of instant mashed potatoes. And a lot of duck eggs, of course. This felt PLAUSIBLE.

It wasn’t exactly soup weather, but it’s not hot yet, either, so I settled on soup.

I browned up the sausages and cut them into coins, then added some butter and threw in a bunch of garlic and diced onion and cooked that until it was soft. Then I fixed the mashed potatoes with milk, rather than water, plus extra milk, and added that, plus a bunch of chicken broth and a lot of pepper. Then I threw in the potatoes and the asparagus (chopped into pieces), and kept it simmering until the potatoes and asparagus were soft.

Really very fine soup! Hearty and full of flavor, and the asparagus made a nice herby counterpart to the spicy sausage, and added some good texture, too.

I knew the kids weren’t gonna go for it, and they also don’t like duck eggs that are identifiable as eggs — i.e., they will eat them baked into things, but not scrambled or fried or as omelettes. So I tore up the french bread

and made a french toast casserole with milk and duck eggs, vanilla and sugar, with butter dotted on top, and more sugar and some cinnamon. Baked until firm. (Actually I baked until the top was firm but the inside was still a bit gooshy, so we just popped it in the meekrowahvay.

All good! We got home quite late on Wednesday, because a kid needed a prom outfit, which we miraculously found at the Salvation Army. Well, it’s maybe less of a miracle and more of a situation where the kid has a very specific style, which perhaps I cultivated in her by shopping a lot at the Salvation Army, and also she’s a bit of a weirdo. Anyway, I really liked the soup.

I cut up the potatoes that were too sprouty even for soup, and set them to dry so I could plant them the next day. I also saved out the sprouting eyes I cut out of the firmer potatoes, and I planted those, too, plus another sprouting onion I found. I’m not sure what-all will come up. We will see!

THURSDAY
Roast pork ribs, corn on the cob

Thursday I did a ton of gardening. I carted around so much compost, and I got my pumpkin seeds and corn and potatoes planted, and I repaired and added a bunch of fencing.

The fence is constructed more or less in the same way as I put meals together this week: It may not be pretty, but it does the trick (in this case, the trick of keeping hungry ducks and wild rabbits out). I also confirmed that I have THREE peach seedlings growing! Last fall we extracted the seeds from inside the peach pits from my tree and planted six of them in pots in the ground, so I’m really happy with this. I have been keeping an eye out to see if any of the HUNDREDS of peach pits that fell to the ground had sprouted spontaneously, and they haven’t! I guess they’re like the ducks: They can probably manage to reproduce on their own under the right conditions, but a little help comes in handy.

Then I had a medical appointment I was kind of dreading, but it went better than expected, and then I charged into the supermarket on the way home and brought home a truly random assortment of foods that I thought could be served quickly. Thursday ended up with a pretty coherent meal: Roast pork ribs (salt and pepper them heavily, put them on a pan with drainage right up under a hot broiler, and flip them once) with BBQ sauce, corn on the cob, and salt and vinegar chips.

Maybe not the most nutritionally balanced meal known to mankind, but it took about 20 minutes to throw together. Really sweet corn, yum.

FRIDAY
I don’t really know

What I have is frozen shrimp that was on sale, and some cucumbers. I always think that surely, surely the kids must secretly like shrimp, because who doesn’t like shrimp? But they really just don’t. Damien is also neutral on shrimp at best. I think I might saute shrimp for myself and cook rice in chicken broth to pacify the kids, and they can have ramen or peanut butter or whatever. And cucumbers!

It’s a half day because of Teacher Appreciation Week, so I gotta change out of these wet duck bath clothes and run and get the kids and pick up a present for a kid’s friend, and then we have, you’ll never guess, a medical appointment, and Damien is gonna cover adoration while I take the kid to that, and then he will pick up the other kids who have a full day because nobody appreciates their teachers. I feel pretty strongly that I am forgetting something, but I guess it will just have to be a surprise!

Tomorrow I gotta go shopping, and we gotta get caught up on the dump, and I gotta go to confession, and Lucy is going to the prom, and Corrie is going to a birthday party, and then Damien and I are seeing Stephen Malkmus! Lena gave him two tickets and he asked me out on a date, and I said yes even before I remembered I had a bunch of coupons for free frosties at Wendy’s. So, quite a Saturday for the Fishers. I may or may not be driving to Rhode Island on Sunday.

And that’s-a my story! If you’re a teacher, I appreciate you, even if I didn’t even briefly consider signing up to bring in finger sandwiches or mini cupcakes.

French bread

Makes four long loaves. You can make the dough in one batch in a standard-sized standing mixer bowl if you are careful!

I have a hard time getting the water temperature right for yeast. One thing to know is if your water is too cool, the yeast will proof eventually; it will just take longer. So if you're nervous, err on the side of coolness.

Ingredients

4-1/2 cups warm water
1/4 cup sugar
2 Tbsp active dry yeast
5 tsp salt
1/4 cup olive or canola oil
10-12 cups flour
butter for greasing the pan (can also use parchment paper) and for running over the hot bread (optional)
corn meal for sprinkling on pan (optional)

Instructions

In the bowl of a standing mixer, put the warm water, and mix in the sugar and yeast until dissolved. Let stand at least five minutes until it foams a bit. If the water is too cool, it's okay; it will just take longer.
Fit on the dough hook and add the salt, oil, and six of the cups of flour. Add the flour gradually, so it doesn't spurt all over the place. Mix and low and then medium speed. Gradually add more flour, one cup at a time, until the dough is smooth and comes away from the side of the bowl as you mix. It should be tender but not sticky.
Lightly grease a bowl and put the dough ball in it. Cover with a damp towel or lightly cover with plastic wrap and set in a warm place to rise for about an hour, until it's about double in size.
Flour a working surface. Divide the dough into four balls. Taking one at a time, roll, pat, and/or stretch it out until it's a rough rectangle about 9x13" (a little bigger than a piece of looseleaf paper).
Roll the long side of the dough up into a long cylinder and pinch the seam shut, and pinch the ends, so it stays rolled up. It doesn't have to be super tight, but you don't want a ton of air trapped in it.
Butter some large pans. Sprinkle them with cornmeal if you like. You can also line them with parchment paper. Lay the loaves on the pans.
Cover them with damp cloths or plastic wrap again and set to rise in a warm place again, until they come close to double in size. Preheat the oven to 375.
Give each loaf several deep, diagonal slashes with a sharp knife. This will allow the loaves to rise without exploding. Put the pans in the oven and throw some ice cubes in the bottom of the oven, or spray some water in with a mister, and close the oven quickly, to give the bread a nice crust.
Bake 25 minutes or more until the crust is golden. One pan may need to bake a few minutes longer.
Run some butter over the crust of the hot bread if you like, to make it shiny and even yummier.

What’s for supper? Vol. 422: Habemus papam! Let’s eat!

I can’t even think of a lame food pun for the title, that’s how excited I am! But before we get back to chattering about the pope, here is what we ate this week:

SATURDAY
Leftovers and french bread pizza

Not a very sumptuous collection of leftovers,

so I splurged a bit on these frozen pizzas that everybody likes. Damien and I also polished off the last of the butter chicken, and I can report that it used its time in the fridge very well, just getting more delicious.

SUNDAY
Grilled ham and cheese, chips, vegetables

Honestly it says “vegetables” on the blackboard menu, but I don’t think that really happened. My personal vegetable consumption has gone way, way up, but I haven’t managed to drag most of the rest of the family into that, yet.

I did have my first asparagus harvest, though!

You’re supposed to wait three years before you start to pick it, so that’s what I did. Now I’m wishing I had planted more! But I’m very glad I got this started. When I first started gardening, I was all about bright, showy annuals. Then I started investing a little more in perennials. A few years ago, I started thinking about what I really wanted out of life, and laid in some long-term beds. It’s just a garden, but, yanno.

Also Sunday, I spent a few hours lopping off blackberry canes and brambles. Of which we have thousands and thousands. Wicked, wicked things.

I comforted myself by making some rice pudding. We had quite a bit of leftover basmati rice from last week, so I excused it from Leftover Day and basically followed this recipe except I skipped the raisins

because the kids don’t like cooked raisins. I should have left them in, because I DO like cooked raisins, and I was the one who ate most of the rice pudding. I mean I ate so much that I think I shouldn’t make it again for a year or so, until I grow up. But it was wonderful pudding. All four adult duck ladies have been laying every day, and duck eggs are SUPERB for baking.

Speaking of superb, the new ducklings have been doing just great. They’re growing insanely fast — I mean like I leave the house for two hours and they’re visibly bigger when I get back. Lots of videos on my Facebook page if you want to see their shenanigans!

MONDAY
Chili verde, tortilla chips

Monday was Cinqo de Mayo, which is something I didn’t even know anything about until I was in college, and it felt very global and cosmopolitan to celebrate this exotic holiday by going to Applebee’s and encountering my first avocado. Then I started to hear about how “uhhhh, no, it’s not Mexican fourth of July, STUPID” and I was like, oh, sorry. Now apparently it’s considered kind of culturally gauche to mark it at all? I truly don’t know. I saw this and felt a kinship:

The moral of this story is, cultures may shift, but ham is forever.

We had no ham or cigarettes or Aquanet in the house, but I did take May 5th as an opportunity to make chili verde, which Damien and I love and no one else does, oh well. I roasted up the tomatillos, peppers, onions, and garlic, and then put them in the food processor with cilantro, and because I hadn’t put on my contact lenses yet, I REMEMBERED TO WEAR GLOVES.

This is half-dumb, because yes I protect my fingers from getting peppery, but if I’m not wearing contact lenses, my eyes water because of the onions; but it’s also half-smart, because if I’m wearing glasses, I can take them off and actually read the recipe. You may THINK that the solution would be to put on contact lenses to protect eyes from both peppery fingers and oniony fumes, and then to add reading glasses to I can also see small print. However, this is not taking into account that I have lost every single one of my reading glasses, and I’m really just not ready for a beaded lanyard tethering me to the necessary glasses nestling on my bosom all day like some kind of cartoon librarian. I’m not ready!

Anyway, here is the recipe:

Jump to Recipe

I made a slight tweak: I roasted the garlic in its skin, and then just squeezed the soft insides out into the food processor. It was a bit faster than peeling all that garlic before roasting it, and the taste was great.

I cooked the chili all day and it turned out fab. It’s been chilly and rainy all week, and this wonderfully spicy meal was very warming, and produced a decent amount of broth without me having to add any beer or extra broth.

Served it with cilantro, shredded pepper jack cheese, sour cream, lime wedges, and tortilla chips.

Yum. I think the kids had Spaghetti-o’s.

TUESDAY
Pizza

Tuesday were two rather draining appointments and then day 2 of digging out blackberry root balls. Again, I say: HORRIBLE plants. See how bare the dirt in in the area where I was digging?

That’s because blackberries won’t let anything else grow! Even wild mint, which is every gardener’s invasive nightmare, got chased out of this area.

However, eradicating blackberries is great for working out any pent-up emotions you might be harboring. I had my shovel, my Japanese gardening knife, my pickaxe, and my heavy duty tarp, and by the time I put them away for the day, I was way to tired to feel anything except hungry.

Happily, I had made three pizzas in the morning: One plain, one pepperoni, and one black olive. Sooner or later I will have to face the fact that we’re on the cusp of becoming a two-pizza family. I used to make SIX extra large pizzas. I do make more than we will eat for one meal, because the kids like leftover pizza; but we’re not keeping up, harrrrooo. (That was just a crooning sound of sorrow for the march of time.)

Tuesday I also made a new garden bed! Look at that tremendous soil.

This area is near the stream and also next to the compost heap, so you could probably live off the soil alone, without even planting anything. However, I am going to plant corn this weekend.

WEDNESDAY
Hot dogs, cheezy weezies

Wednesday I cleared out my pumpkin patch and heaved a bunch of compost onto it,

and then I worked on the new fence a bit, and then I dug out more compost and ferried that over to the soon-to-be corn patch.

I would apologize for filling a food post with so many photos of dirt, but I know you guys! You like looking at pictures of dirt! Also you can see that my wattle fence held up just fine over the winter. I would like to add more this summer, but I don’t know if I will have time. I suddenly have lots of projects planned.

Speaking of projects, of course Wednesday was the beginning of the papal conclave! I got to watch the cardinals all taking their oaths in the Sistine Chapel, and that was very cool. We Catholics are so good at drama.

On the way home from school, one of the kids wanted to open a bank account, which always takes a million years longer than I expect. But at least we finally got it done. And I did snap this attractive photo of the bank office, with a somewhat disconcerting corporate poster.

They’re as stable as a squirrel, great. I couldn’t really complain, because it turned out the kid didn’t have any actual cash for the $10 minimum deposit to launch the account, and neither did I, and then they said well maybe it only needed to be $5, and then they said probably a dollar would be okay, so I found some change, and she deposited that. I made sure she understood that was her Christmas present this year.

We just had hot dogs and cheezy weezies for supper, and again I had worked up quite an appetite with my pickaxe and my buckets! Crazy how delicious a hot dog can be when you’ve been working outdoors, not to mention watching a conclave and looking for spare change.

Wednesday night, I started marinating the meat for Thursday’s dinner, because I knew it was gonna be a busy day. Damien has been sick all week, and when I say “sick,” I mean he’s LETTING ME DO THINGS FOR HIM and SLEEPING and TAKING MEDICINE. So you know it’s pretty serious. I think it’s bronchitis, and he’s starting to feel a bit better, but it’s rough.

THURSDAY
Chicken shawarma, fresh pita, tiramisu

Thursday was when we were celebrating Moe’s birthday, which was actually the day before. In the morning, I started the tiramisu, which is usually one of Damien’s signature dishes. I followed the recipe he uses, except maybe I can blame the conclave, because I got distracted and mixed together the custard and the whipped cream! So rather than six layers, there were only four. Gutted, as the brits say.

All I could do was sift some cocoa powder over the top, put it in the fridge, and hope for the best. Then I prepped all the shawarma fixings, made some garlicky yogurt sauce, and that’s when the white smoke came out! Most of the kids were at school and Damien was still conked out, so I made the ducks watch with me.

This is very exciting for Shaq, Zippy, and Tulip, because they were born in that time period when everyone was briefly a sedevacantist, so they’d never had any pope before, much less one from Chicago with Hatian grandparents and a special affection for the poor in Peru!

I did drag Sophia, Elijah, and Damien in before Leo appeared on the balcony, and wow, that was exciting. Wow, wow, wow. Here’s my camera roll, when I found it needful to take multiple photos of the TV screen, because where else am I going to find a blurry picture of the pope?

Anyway, boy, that was a thrill! Still had to make supper, though, so quick quick I started the pita dough before I had to run out for the afternoon drive (and you can see I got a couple more pictures of our local church, which had already switched from black to yellow and white bunting).

I still haven’t really settled on a good pita recipe. I ended up using this recipe from Food By Maria, and no, I didn’t read it all the way through, what do you take me for. So I was a little dismayed to find that you have to let it rise twice, and the second rise is a full hour, and that each pita bread takes six minutes to cook. Actually I think I’ve made this recipe before, and probably found it by googling “simcha fisher pita,” but I still had no idea what it said.

I started the meat cooking about an hour before dinner, and Moe and Clara came over and chatted with me while I fried the pita, and honestly, everything turned out great.

Shawarma was delicious. I was out of red pepper flakes, so I put Aleppo pepper in, and also I couldn’t find the garlic press, so I put the garlic cloves in a bag and hit them with a meat tenderizer, and put in big smashed chunks. When I took the chicken out of the marinade, I fished out all the garlic and strewed that over the top, along with the red onion quarters. I think I’ll do all those things from now on!

It was completely delicious. The chicken was so tender, it didn’t need to be cut up, but had turned itself into lovely little bite-sized chunks, and the generous onion quarters sort of cuddled themselves around the chicken, and it was just a real treat all around.

The pita was also quite good. It did not separate into two layers, but it was chewy on the outside, fluffy on the inside, and had a good, rich flavor.

I’ll probably use this recipe again, even though it was a bit of a hassle. I did two pans at once, so it took me about half an hour to fry up twelve pieces.

Supper was very jolly! I wish everybody could have made it, but it was a good crowd.

Then we had the tiramisu, and it was not a failure! I was afraid that, because the cream was mixed into the custard, the sweetness would be too diluted and it would taste bland; and I was afraid that I had mixed it so much that all the air would be knocked out of the cream and it would be thick and dense. Neither thing happened!

Pictures of tiramisu always look a little ghastly, for some reason, but here’s the inside:

Just so you can see how the lack of layers worked out. But it did set up nicely. Anyway, everyone liked it and I was so relieved.

Today is Moe’s awards ceremony, then tomorrow is his graduation, and then Sunday he’s moving to his new apartment, and Monday he starts his new job! Glad I got one last shawarma into the boy before off he goes. Harrrooooo.

If you couldn’t tell by the Frog and Toad shirt and the Ferdinand the Bull tattoo, he’s going to be the new youth librarian at a public library. That was my father’s first professional job, too. He would have been very proud of Moe! I am. I’m proud of all my kids.

FRIDAY
Mac and cheese

I have already made the mac and cheese, and we are out of milk so I made it with leftover heavy cream from the tiramisu, and I used so much cheese, I think it may be illegal.

So, like I said, habemus papem! I don’t like every last thing I’ve heard and read about him, but I like an awful lot of it, and overall, I’m incredibly hopeful and excited. The way he speaks and the way he has comported himself so far is immensely appealing. I’m so ready for some good things to happen. And if it doesn’t, well, at least we have food.

Spicy Chili Verde

You can decrease the heat by seeding the peppers, using fewer habañeros, or substituting some milder pepper. It does get less spicy as it cooks, so don't be alarmed if you make the salsa and it's overwhelming!

Ingredients

5 lbs pork shoulder
salt and pepper
oil for cooking
2 cups chicken broth or beer (optional)

For the salsa verde:

4 Anaheim peppers
2 habañero peppers
4 jalapeño peppers
4 medium onions, quartered
12 tomatillos
1 head garlic, cloves peeled or unpeeled
1 bunch cilantro

For serving:

lime wedges
sour cream
additional cilantro for topping

Instructions

Preheat the broiler.
Pull the husks and stems off the tomatillos and rinse them. Cut the ends off all the peppers. Grease a large pan and put the tomatillos, peppers, and onions on it. Broil five minutes, turn, and broil five minutes more, until they are slightly charred.
When they are cool enough to handle, you can at this point remove the seeds from the peppers to decrease the spiciness, if you want. If you roasted the garlic in its peel, just squeeze the insides out and discard the peels.
Put the tomatillos, peppers, garlic and onions in a food processor or blender with the garlic and cilantro. Purée.
In a heavy pot, heat some oil. Salt and pepper the pork chunks and brown them in the oil. You will need to do it in batches so the pork has enough room and browns, rather than simmering.
When all the meat is browned, return it all to the pot and add the puréed ingredients.
Simmer at a low heat for at least three hours until the meat is tender. If you want thinner chili verde, stir in the chicken broth or beer. If you don't want the pork in large chunks, press the meat with the back of a spoon to make it collapse into shreds.
Spoon the chili verde into bowls, squeeze some lime juice over the top, and top with sour cream and fresh cilantro.

Chicken shawarma

Ingredients

8 lbs boned, skinned chicken thighs
4-5 red onions
1.5 cups lemon juice
2 cups olive oil
4 tsp kosher salt
2 Tbs, 2 tsp pepper
2 Tbs, 2 tsp cumin
1 Tbsp red pepper flakes OR Aleppo pepper
1 tsp cinnamon
1 entire head garlic, crushed OR bashed into pieces

Instructions

Mix marinade ingredients together, then add chicken. Put in ziplock bag and let marinate several hours or overnight.
Preheat the oven to 425.
Grease a shallow pan. Take the chicken out of the marinade and spread it in a single layer on the pan, and top with the onions (sliced or quartered). If you kept the garlic in larger pieces, fish those out of the marinade and strew them over the chicken. Cook for 45 minutes or more.
Chop up the chicken a bit, if you like, and finish cooking it so it crisps up a bit more.
Serve chicken and onions with pita bread triangles, cucumbers, tomatoes, assorted olives, feta cheese, fresh parsley, pomegranates or grapes, fried eggplant, and yogurt sauce.

Yogurt sauce

Ingredients

32 oz full fat Greek yogurt
5 cloves garlic, crushed
1/4 cup lemon juice
3 Tbsp olive oil
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
fresh parsley or dill, chopped (optional)

Instructions

Mix all ingredients together. Use for spreading on grilled meats, dipping pita or vegetables, etc.

A hymn for the conclave

Come Holy Ghost, Creator Blest,
And in our hearts take up Thy rest;
Come with Thy grace and heav’nly aid,
To fill the hearts which Thou hast made,
To fill the hearts which Thou hast made.

[DEEP BREATH. MAKE SURE DOOR IS LOCKED AND CARDINALS CAN’T HEAR. DOUBLE CHECK THE DOOR. TURN ON WHITE NOISE MACHINE.]

O Comforter. You know the deal
No man is worthy to wear that seal.
Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Christ
That’s a big deal, any way it’s sliced.
That’s a big deal, any way it’s sliced.

O Comforter, to Thee we cry,
We need a pope who is just the right guy.
One who is wise, and not insane,
And always naps when he’s on a plane
And always naps when he’s on a plane.

Come Holy Ghost. We’ve been so lucky
John Paul was great and Ben 16 was ducky
Francis’ church….. Read the rest of my latest for The Catholic Weekly.

Beauty in every body: The portraits of Igor Babailov

To paint a portrait, you first have to fall in love. This is what Igor Babailov believes, and he should know. The Russian-born artist, who’s made his home in the United States for 35 years, has painted hundreds of portraits, from George W. Bush to Nelson Mandela, from Patriarch Kirill of Russia to Akira Kurosawa to Hillary Clinton, and not one but three popes — John Paul II, Benedict XVI and Francis.

“I have to fall in love with the person I paint, otherwise it will never happen. It has to come from my heart,” Babailov said.

The artist, who is also a teacher and speaker, remembers unveiling Francis’ portrait to the pope, who listened attentively as he explained, through an interpreter, the composition of the work and all the details he had included.

“His eyes lit up when I pointed at the children,” Babailov said. “He loved children.” Francis pointed toward his own heart and murmured that he was touched.

The portrait is titled “The Holy Cross” and shows Francis standing under the Holy Family. Behind him, a faint rainbow traces a bridge between Hagia Sophia and the dome of St. Peter’s, which is lit from inside, with a line of pilgrims making their way toward the door. The composition of the entire piece is essentially cross-shaped, with Pope Francis at the center, covering his silver pectoral cross with his hands in a gentle, protective gesture, and looking heavenward with his characteristic placid smile.

Below him we see Francis in two vignettes emblematic of his papacy: in one, sheltering and embracing poor children, and in the other, about to press his lips to the newly washed foot of a dark-skinned person in a wheelchair.

“A portrait is not just a visual likeness; it’s the story of who the person is. That’s why I incorporated him washing feet. That was him in his heart. That was his nature,” Babailov said.

In fact, visiting prisoners — although he was too ill to wash feet, as in former years — was one of the last things Francis did. On Holy Thursday, he visited inmates at Regina Coeli prison in Rome; on Easter Monday, he died.

Photography vs. portraiture

It’s a tricky business, faithfully portraying a real human being with a complex life and legacy. But Babailov insists that a thoughtful painting is better than a photograph for preserving someone’s likeness for future generations.

“For some reason, we trust the camera. But a camera is a cold-blooded machine,” he said. It flattens everything, and it can’t make any decisions about what is and is not important in an image. An artist can make these distinctions and can organize a work to draw the eye first to what is most meaningful.

“Everything is important to a camera,” Babailov said. “But an artist can select.”

Babailov said that, although the three popes whose portraits he painted were very different, they all had in common a palpable sense of holiness. Not so with everyone who sits for one of his portraits! Babailov has accepted commissions for all sorts of people.

Although he spends hours gazing into the face of his subject — trying, in a sense, to read their souls — he never feels the need to edit out anything he sees or to flatter his subject.

“That never, ever, ever comes to my mind. Just the opposite: I see beauty in everyone,” he said. “That may sound strange. People have contradictions. But as a portrait painter, I have to fall in love with the person I paint.”

Trained to observe the human form

He is in love, in fact, with the human body itself, from the inside out. Babailov, whose father was a painter and whose mother was a teacher, painted his first portrait at the age of 4….Read the rest of my latest for Our Sunday Visitor.

What’s for supper? Vol. 421: Spwing gets sewious

Happy Friday! If you follow me on social media, you know this week was DUCKLING WEEK. Over three weeks ago, we put six eggs from our flock in the incubator (the first batch having failed). Our attempts at candling (holding the eggs over a light to see what’s inside) were inconclusive, and to be honest, I figured we were just drearily waiting out the clock and then we’d throw them away, because obviously they weren’t going to hatch and everything is terrible and nothing turns out. Very sad.

But I was WRONG AGAIN.

I’ll tell you all about it! But first, here is what we ate this week:

SATURDAY
Leftover buffet plus hash browns

Some very fine leftovers, too. The oven-fried chicken from last week was still great, even if it looks a little gnarly in this photo.

Looks like we finally polished off the last of the lamb, too.

SUNDAY
Butter chicken, basmati rice, cucumbers, naan

Sunday I was planning a bunch of yard work, but it was cold and drizzly, so all I managed was to prune my peach tree.

Peach trees are supposed to be shaped like cups, so first I clipped off all the growth in the center, so it would get plenty of light and airflow; then I clipped off anything that seemed dry or damaged. Then I lopped off some really high or heavy branches, to encourage it to make fruit where I could reach it, and not to get too weighed down. I really hate pruning, but it has to be done! I probably could have been a little more aggressive, but it’s definitely an improvement, and I’m less worried that the tree is going to split this year. I dearly love this tree and want to take good care of it.

It really was nippy out, though, and starting to rain in earnest, and the warm kitchen was calling. I have been using this butter chicken recipe from Recipe Tin Eats, and it’s just about perfect, so I haven’t tried any other. The only change I made was to use my fancy garam masala that was a gift, and mmmmm it was nice.

I love this butter chicken so much.

Somehow makes me nostalgic for my childhood back in India.

I made a big pot of basmati rice to go with it, and then felt it would be a shame not to have some fresh naan, as long as I was in the kitchen and had already wrecked the place up, not to mention it was chilly and drizzly, not to mention I really really love naan.

I generally use the King Arthur Flour recipe, and although it never rises as much as the recipe says it will, it comes out tender and pleasant.

I made a double recipe, which is supposed to yield 16, but I cut the pieces bigger, so I got 12. I use an iron frying pan and cooking spray, and I wipe the burnt flour out of the pan with a wet cloth in between each piece. I also brushed them with melted butter before throwing them in the oven to stay warm. I sometimes don’t bother with this step, but it really makes them extra lovely.

I was gonna make some kind of peanutty-coconutty cucumber dish, but considered my audience and just served plain cucumber slices. The butter chicken is not really spicy but it’s VERY rich, so it’s nice to have a cooling accompaniment with it. Excellent meal altogether.

MONDAY
Chicken quesadillas, chips and salsa

Monday morning, Damien discovered how to make me get out of bed in two seconds, rather than my customary 46 minute slither: He said one of the eggs was shaking! Sure enough, there was a little chipped section and you could even see a silly little orange bill poking out from time to time.

I was just so amazed. I really thought those eggs were done for, but no! Most definitely somebody inside, trying to get out and get going.

Here’s a short video of that stage. You can hear the duckling peeping from inside the egg, and you can hear little answering peeps from the other eggs!

It took quite a while. After about six hours of very slow progress, the tiny prisoner finally managed to crack the shell in a long line, and you can see the little yellow feathers sticking out (so we knew it would be a pekin, rather than a Swedish black cross. The only drake is a pekin, and two of the ladies are pekins and two are Swedish blacks). The hatching process was flurries of activity as the bill pokes out over and over, and then some long periods of just sort of pulsing and breathing, and then long periods of quiet resting, followed by another spasm of activity. Hard work!

Then fiiiiinally, finally, the little dude managed to get free! Poor little thing, he was exhausted.

But he immediately wanted to be up and staggering around, with plenty of toppling over, extravagant stretching, and resting his poor head on the incubator floor. Elijah and Sophia were home and named him “Shaq,” because he is so mighty and powerful.

The ducklings stay in the incubator for 24 hours after they hatch, to keep them warm and in a humid environment. It was lots of fun watching his down dry out and fluff up as he got stronger and steadier and more able to hold his head up. Within a couple of hours, he was helping himself to a little snack of his own discarded and rather goopy eggshell, bleh!

Eventually I had to make supper, and, feeling a little awkward with the duckling right on the kitchen island, I shredded up a rotisserie chicken and made quesadillas.

Two other eggs had started to crack by this point, and we kept waiting for them to hatch, but after many hours of no apparent progress, we finally went to bed.

Here is Shaq, patiently waiting for some siblings to come out and play.

TUESDAY
Bagel, egg, cheese, and sausage or ham sandwiches

Got up Tuesday morning and saw a ball of black fluff lying still in the incubator, and it sure looked dead. But it wasn’t! It hopped up and started to muscle its way around! What a relief. Two ducklings!

We were expecting a Swedish black from this one, because the egg was somewhat smaller, and we were correct. I was thinking that his silly black and orange feet and black and orange bill were cross-breed colorations, but actually now I think those are within the normal range of Swedish black coloration. Anyway, he is definitely silly-looking.

Corrie named him “Zippy,” and he is a bit of a punk and a troublemaker.

The third egg was still slowwwwwly getting chipped away, and we could hear plenty of peeping, but it was starting to get a little nerve-wracking, and I was really worried that it would tire out before it could break through. But then FINALLY, finally, just before dinner time, baby #3 emerged. We actually got to see this one break out of the shell right in front of us.

Another pekin! But he looked poorly, quite weak and tired from that long struggle. Also Zippy kept nipping and pecking at him, so I pulled Zippy out a few hours ahead of schedule and put him in the brooding box with Shaq. (The red light is from a heat lamp. Looks a little weird, but keeps them toasty warm.)

Dinner was bagel sandwiches,

and once again I felt rather boorish, frying up a panful of fresh duck eggs about a yard away from a close relative.

Just all part of the rich tapestry of life. Good sandwiches, too.

I was still worried about the third duckling. He was looking a little sturdier, but his eyes were still kind of swollen and he seemed like he needed to rest a lot more than the others did, so I fed him a little warm sugar water from a spoon before bed.

and that is pretty much the cutest thing I’ve ever been a part of in my life. Then we went to bed and hoped for the best.

WEDNESDAY
Caprese chicken burgers, tater tots

Wednesday morning, three healthy ducklings! Shaq and Zippy had worked out their differences and were snuggling happily, and #3 was looking fluffy, alert, and wonderful.

He’s such a sweetie. It had been determined that this duck was Benny’s to name, and so when the kids got home, she settled on “Tulip,” which is perfect.

Wednesday was a rigamarole as usual, but it turned out there was no catechism, so I got home not insanely late, and we had tater tots and chicken burgers, which I gussied up with tomato, basil, and cheese on baguettes with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. We had sliced provolone and also a bit of that homemade mozzarella left, which was yum.

AND I ATE MINE OUTSIDE. I think this is the first time it’s been warm enough for that. Quite delightful. Except that I had a chance to take a good long look at the space between the patio and the house, and I couldn’t help but notice that there were three Christmas trees there. Which is not very House & Garden of me. Also, way more blackberry bushes than I wanted to be seeing.

THURSDAY
Gochujang pork ribs, rice, quick pickled carrots

Thursday it was warm and lovely, and after I got supper started, I decided it was time to wage serious war on the blackberries. Wild blackberries are good to eat, but they’re aggressively invasive, and they choke out anything else you want to grow; and the canes are absolutely bristling with really wicked thorns, and even if you avoid them, they reach out and grab you as you pass by., and I’m not making that up! They reproduce by seed, cane, suckers, tip layering, and by any passing idle thought, and anything you to do them just makes them stronger and angrier.

I tell you, between this and the ducklings, and the dog getting millions of ticks on him, and the cat going berserk for reasons of his own (mouse in the house, plus general neurosis. He did catch the mouse eventually; neurosis still flourishing) it’s been quite a week of nature in all her wondrous works! Quite a week.

I had done a bit of blackberry lopping on Wednesday, but I devoted several hours to it on Thursday. It really is more a matter of control than eradication, but if I manage to get them to grow more in a different spot and less right next to the patio, I’ll be happy. My plan is to dig up as many root balls as I can, and then keep clipping them throughout the spring and summer whenever they come up, and then to put down a tarp in the fall, and starve them of light and moisture. It won’t work, but that’s what I’m going to do. (I’m not opposed to herbicides in the right situation, but this area is too close to my gardens and the ducks.)

I’m sure this is way more than you want to know about blackberry suppression, but the truth is, I can’t find my reading glasses, so I really don’t know what I’m writing. It’s anyone’s guess.

Anyway, for supper I made a gochujang marinade for a bunch of boneless pork ribs

Jump to Recipe

and set that to be saucy, and then I got some carrots pickling. I can’t find the cutting disk for my food processor, and all I had were baby carrots, so I was reduced to hand-shredding baby carrots on the grater, and it was not ideal. I ended up chucking them in the food processor and pulsing it a few times, so we basically had pickled carrot nubbins. STILL DELICIOUS.

I have a recipe for pickled vegetables,

Jump to Recipe

but I didn’t bother looking it up. I put together 1.5 cups of water and 1.5 cups of white vinegar and 1/4 cup sugar and probably 1/2 tsp salt, and heated it up and stirred it until the sugar dissolved. Then I let it cool, then added the carrots.

Before supper, I got a pot of rice cooking, drained the vinegar off the carrots, and broiled the pork. I turned it once and basted it with the leftover marinade, and oh man, that pork turned out spectacular. No camera filter here; just the afternoon sun and the glory of gochujang.

Sweet and spicy and a little sticky on the outside, and really juicy on the inside. I found some crunchy noodles and it was a very nice meal.

Then I suddenly got clobbered by an inescapable nap. The kids had gone to a movie and when they came home, I was just waking up, and they asked if there was any pork left. What? Yes, definitely?? There were like ten ribs left over.

But wait. Had anyone cleared that plate of ten succulent pork ribs off the table after dinner?

Yes! Someone had.

And you’ll never guess who that someone was.

Ah well. So the kids went back out to get themselves some frozen pizza, and we all agreed that Sonny is a very charming and winsome guy, so we won’t murder him. Then we pulled some more ticks off him and took the ducks out for a little frolic, and I dunno, guys. Maybe it’s just the nap talking, but I think it’s a beautiful life.

FRIDAY
Spaghetti

Today we’ve had multiple doctor appointments, unrelated to the violent stomach bug that seems to have come for a visit.

However, the apple trees are flowering, the tulips I planted are about to join the daffodils, my strawberries, asparagus, rhubarb, and garlic are all coming up nicely, and I’m thinking of putting in basil, pumpkins, eggplant, and maybe corn and potatoes this year. I got a free bench off Facebook marketplace, and I’m going to give it a nice coat of paint and drag it down to the stream this weekend. I’m hoping to get back to the treehouse this weekend, and I have some exciting plans for a shade garden in the front of the house.

And did I mention? we have ducklings!

All three apparently healthy and fit. Even though I’ve seen it twice before, I cannot believe how fast they are growing. We have put the incubator away for the year, because that was quite enough excitement for one spring.

Peep peep!

Gochujang bulgoki (spicy Korean pork)

Ingredients

1.5 pound boneless pork, sliced thin
4 carrots in matchsticks or shreds
1 onion sliced thin

sauce:

5 generous Tbsp gochujang (fermented pepper paste)
2 Tbsp honey
2 tsp sugar
2 Tbsp soy sauce
5 cloves minced garlic

Serve with white rice and nori (seaweed sheets) or lettuce leaves to wrap

Instructions

Combine pork, onions, and carrots.

Mix together all sauce ingredients and stir into pork and vegetables.

Cover and let marinate for several hours or overnight.

Heat a pan with a little oil and sauté the pork mixture until pork is cooked through.
Serve with rice and lettuce or nori. Eat by taking pieces of lettuce or nori, putting a scoop of meat and rice in, and making little bundles to eat.

5 from 1 vote

quick-pickled carrots and/or cucumbers for banh mi, bibimbap, ramen, tacos, etc.

An easy way to add tons of bright flavor and crunch to a meal. We pickle carrots and cucumbers most often, but you can also use radishes, red onions, daikon, or any firm vegetable.

Ingredients

6-7 medium carrots, peeled
1 lb mini cucumbers (or 1 lg cucumber)

For the brine (make double if pickling both carrots and cukes)

1 cup water
1/2 cup rice vinegar (other vinegars will also work; you'll just get a slightly different flavor)
1/2 cup sugar
1 Tbsp kosher salt

Instructions

Mix brine ingredients together until salt and sugar are dissolved.
Slice or julienne the vegetables. The thinner they are, the more flavor they pick up, but the more quickly they will go soft, so decide how soon you are going to eat them and cut accordingly!
Add them to the brine so they are submerged.
Cover and let sit for a few hours or overnight or longer. Refrigerate if you're going to leave them overnight or longer.

What’s for supper? Vol. 420: Get your veils ready

You may notice that today’s Vol. is 420. I was gonna make a pot joke, but, much like people who smoke a lot of pot, those tend to be lame. I decided instead to stay classy and stick with my usual highbrow humor involving dog balls.

Well, happy Friday WITH MEAT. This is a whole week of Sundays, liturgically speaking, and I can’t say that we rested a lot, but we certainly ate well! Here’s what we had this week:

SATURDAY
Passover seder food

I’ve been wrestling with various things, and so this is the year we decided we were going to have Passover on its actual date, rather than on Holy Saturday. So I looked it up and found that the last day of Passover WAS on Holy Saturday. I took this as a little ass-pat from God, signaling that it’s ok to do our best to honor both my Jewish heritage and our Catholic faith this way, and we were going to have a nice, gradual transition into peeling them apart next time. THEN I realized that people generally have their seders on the first or second day of Passover, and not the last day. Oh well! Next year. (If you didn’t follow that, don’t worry about it. It’s just me fretting.)

So I spent most of Holy Week cooking and baking. We did manage to do Stations of the Cross a few times this Lent, and got to confession, and on Friday I printed out an at-home Tenebrae service, collated and stapled a packet for everyone, located seven candles, and then took a three-hour nap instead. Which is just as well, because even with older kids, getting ready for Passover and the Easter Vigil on the same day is a LOT.

Here’s the table, ready for the ceremonial part of the seder:

Elijah did a huge part of leading the seder this year, and he did a wonderful job. It was lovely.

Everyone loves the seder. It is such a gift.

Then it was time to eat!

The menu is: Chicken soup with matzoh balls,

gefilte fish,

chopped liver,

spinach pie,

cinnamon garlic chicken, roast lamb,

and charoset;

and for dessert, store-bought macaroons, chocolate-covered jelly rings, jelly fruit slices, chocolate-covered coconut, and pistachio halvah; and I made a lemon sponge cake and chocolate-covered matzoh caramel crunch.

The recipes for everything I made are on this page, except for the sponge cake. I followed this recipe from Cinnamon Schtick, except that I forgot to add the lemon juice and orange juice; so instead, I simmered up the juice with a bunch of sugar and made a citrus syrup, and then I poked lots of holes in the cake and drizzled the syrup over it before wrapping it up for later.

It was GREAT. I rushed taking it out of the pan, so I broke it, but that was okay because it gets cut up anyway. I think I will do it that way from now on, with the syrup drizzle.

So, then, after everyone ate as much as they could manage, we rested up a bit and then cleared things up a bit, and Damien did a first load of dishes, and then we got dressed for the Easter Vigil! We are extremely photogenic and our house looks really nice right now!

Without naming names, the one for whom lack of sleep would have been most disastrous did sleep through most of it,

which is a good thing because it was three hours long. Gorgeous liturgy, beeswax candles, glorious music, lots of adult baptisms and confirmations. Wonderful. Exhausting. Wonderful.

Moved the easter baskets to the dining room and conked the heck out.

SUNDAY
Leftovers

Leftovers, of course. The best leftovers of the year.

Plus of course Easter candy.

Later in the day, I boiled a few dozen eggs, and we colored them outside, because it suddenly got warm, finally!

We blew a few duck eggs and I dyed one with feathers, which are, of course, waterproof. Might make it into a Christmas ornament at some later date.

MONDAY
Buffalo chicken wraps, cheez balls

Monday I very reluctantly dragged myself off shopping. It was hard to feel the urgency about bringing yet more food into the house, but we really did need to eat dinner.

I always get a little riled at how expensive frozen buffalo chicken is, so I got a bunch of cheap frozen chicken fingers and cooked them, then covered them in buffalo sauce (melted butter, a little honey, and a bunch of hot sauce) and cooked them some more.

We had wraps made with tortillas, ranch or blue cheese dressing, shredded pepper jack cheese, shredded lettuce, and crunchy fried onions.

The buffalo chicken was . . . okay. I guess it needs to be batter fried, rather than breaded, in order to taste like store-bought buffalo chicken. The flavor was fine and I was so hungry, they actually tasted great to me, but the kids were less enthusiastic.

Monday was a fairly exciting day because I forgot to tell you that, on Sunday night, as we were drifting off to sleep after that lonnnnnnnnng weekend, the smoke alarm went off. Turned out to be the lint in the dryer! Some things had come apart and the lint was everywhere and was smoking! So, but we did not burn up, hooray smoke alarm!

However, on Monday, Damien had to work on the dryer. The laundry room is a TIGHT SQUEEZE, and when he moved the dryer, the sink got knocked out of the wall, and the pipe broke and started spurting water everywhere, which tripped a fuse and put the power out. The cat chose this moment to nab a mouse and start dashing around the house with the squealing victim in his mouth, and the dog, of course, elected the follow the cat around, because he really needed to know what the cat’s butt smelled like right then.

We’re just gonna draw a veil over the next forty minutes or so, but the upshot is that Damien fixed everything and threw the mouse outside and the dog found out the information he needed and now everything is fine, amen. For my part, I supplied stifled giggling throughout.

TUESDAY
Muffalettish sandwiches with homemade cheese, Doritos, vegetable platter

Tuesday, Corrie suddenly remembered that I promised I would start on her treehouse over vacation, and here it was Tuesday already. So to the hideout we went, and honestly, we’re going to have to draw another veil over the part where we finally agreed on which tree it would be, but I have to admit, she picked a really good tree.

I had bought a used copy of Tree Houses You Can Actually Build, but it turned out it was a book we couldn’t actually manage not to lose, so I found a kid whose library card hasn’t been suspended and sent her in with a sticky note with the title on it, and now we have another copy of the book!

Then I remembered I was planning to make cheese for supper, so I did that, but I was super distracted, and something went a little amiss. It actually tasted fine — very light and pleasant in flavor — but it was quite grainy and kind of unsightly.

However, I was on a roll, so once the cheese was done I zooped off to Home Depot and bought eight pressure treated 2×6 boards and a dozen lag bolts. I had set aside some cash for the Sunroom Which Is Not To Be, so I figured I would invest a little into making the frame for the treehouse really strong with new materials, and then we can just bash the rest of it together with whatever crap we have lying around. There’s not a metaphor there; you’re wasting your time. Just keep scrolling.

So then we had sandwiches for supper. I can’t really call them muffaletta sandwiches, but they were tasty. I made an olive salad with green and black olives, banana peppers, parsley, olive oil, and red wine vinegar, and I sliced up some baguettes and we piled on sandwich pepperoni, hard salami, mortadella, and ham, and the shaggy mozzarella I had made.

Actually quite a good sandwich, and I sure was starving by dinner time.

WEDNESDAY
Oven fried chicken, baked potatoes, corn on the cob

Wednesday, I prepped the chicken and also made a marinade for Thursday’s meal and got that meat marinating, and then I started right in building! And almost immediately realized that I really can’t do this myself, REALLY. I could, with great effort, trundle the wood onto the site, but that was as far as I got. So I trimmed the boards down to seven feet and then realized I needed to go to, NO, NOT Home Depot. Harbor Freight, which is Home Depot for losers. I got a drill bit that’s 75% the size of the lag bolts I want to put in, and I bought a pack of ten phillips head drill bits, because I’m an unreformed loser of drill bits. And I can’t be alone, or why else would they sell them in packs of ten?

So it was QUITE a bit more of a struggle than I expected, but we finally got one board up in the tree, nice and centered and leveled. We just screwed it into place, to be drilled and bolted later.

Check it out: A Level Board Up In A Tree.

It is going to be a seven-foot square platform with the tree in the center

with a railing around the outside, and no walls but a tall post in each corner holding up a slanted, transparent plastic roof. She wants a rope ladder so she can pull it up after herself, and nobody is arguing with that.

In the afternoon, I threw some potatoes in the oven, dredged the chicken in seasoned flour and got that cooking, zooped off to drop off Corrie for a sleepover, came home, turned the chicken and started the corn boiling, and we had a very delicious, summery meal.

Oh, here is my recipe for oven-fried chicken.

Jump to Recipe

The weird thing was, Sophia, Lucy, and Irene had left for a concert in Boston, and Corrie was away with her pal, so it was just a little bitty family of five at home. Naturally, I had cooked for twelve. Luckily, Clara stopped by, so I foisted some chicken on her. Lena also came by, but escaped chickenless.

THURSDAY
Pork gyros with spicy fries and homemade pita

Thursday I had a neat interview in the morning, and then in the afternoon, Damien and I put up a second treehouse board. I guess I was thinking that the first board would be the hardest one, because it was, I don’t know, the first one.

But it turns out the second one is actually harder because . . . .you have to make it not only level in itself, but level with the first one, and flush on the ends, and also you are screwing it to a tree which is guess what? Round! And also, the world’s greatest tree house tree happens to be growing out of the side of the stream bank, so there isn’t actually anywhere to stand, per se. And I guess I assumed that all drill bits are magnetic so they don’t just randomly fall out of the drill, but guess what? They are not! And they do1

If you have any veils left, it wouldn’t hurt to draw it over the struggle we had with multiple levels, multiple pencil lines, multiple pencils, and of course multiple drill bits which are now presumably a few miles downstream.

But we got that mofo in, and it is level in every direction, and flush. And thorough!

Then we had to both get back to our actual paying jobs, and then I had to make supper.

LUCKILY, as I mentioned, I had genius-ly started the pork marinating the night before, and I also had made some garlicky yogurt sauce.

Jump to Recipe

So in the afternoon, first I made some pita bread. I cannot even imagine what made me decide to try a new recipe at this time of day on this kind of day, but that is what I did. I made a double batch of this recipe from King Arthur Flour and it was not that great!

Truth be told, I was rushing the teeniest bit, so I probably made multiple mistakes, so it’s probably not the recipe’s fault. It wasn’t terrible, it was just not the puffiest pita known to mankind.

(This is obviously the underside of the pitas; the topsides were a little bit puffy.)

The meat, however. Oh.

I had a semi-boneless pork butt, and I had cut it into sort of thick, flat slabs, and then I scored them deeply, like I was cutting a mango out of its skin, and that’s how I marinated the meat. I was planning to broil it in the oven, but I forgot I would be needing the oven for french fries. So I just seared the hell out of the meat in frying pans. I had three slabs about this size:

When they were deeply browned and a little charred on both sides, I hacked it into pieces with some kitchen scissors and continued cooking it until it was cooked through, letting it absorb plenty of the juice and marinade.

So we had warm pita, yogurt sauce, tomatoes, feta, spicy fries, and some very saucy, juicy pork, and some hot sauce on top. Too messy to really assemble into a gyro, but DANG. It was delicious, and so juicy.

Just the best thing I’ve eaten in a long, long while. I hope I can recreate the marinade. I started with a recipe, but it didn’t taste like much, so I added a bunch of stuff. Here’s the best I can remember:

Jump to Recipe

Although I wonder if there was some lemon juice in there. Anyway, they were the best gyros I’ve ever made.

FRIDAY
Burgers, chips

And we’re wrapping up Meatster Week with hamburgers, which have become something of a luxury item.

I have one last picture on my camera roll for the week, and I don’t remember which day this was, but it’s proof that I did get a few workouts in

A lot of yoga is about subtle things, like how you place your feet or where you turn your gaze. And sometimes Sonny really helps me with that. What a gentleman.

One last veil for the dog balls, folks. You know what to do.

Oven-fried chicken

so much easier than pan frying, and you still get that crisp skin and juicy meat

Ingredients

chicken parts (wings, drumsticks, thighs)
milk (enough to cover the chicken at least halfway up)
eggs (two eggs per cup of milk)
flour
your choice of seasonings (I usually use salt, pepper, garlic powder, cumin, paprika, and chili powder)
oil and butter for cooking

Instructions

At least three hours before you start to cook, make an egg and milk mixture and salt it heavily, using two eggs per cup of milk, so there's enough to soak the chicken at least halfway up. Beat the eggs, add the milk, stir in salt, and let the chicken soak in this. This helps to make the chicken moist and tender.
About 40 minutes before dinner, turn the oven to 425, and put a pan with sides into the oven. I use a 15"x21" sheet pan and I put about a cup of oil and one or two sticks of butter. Let the pan and the butter and oil heat up.
While it is heating up, put a lot of flour in a bowl and add all your seasonings. Use more than you think is reasonable! Take the chicken parts out of the milk mixture and roll them around in the flour until they are coated on all sides.
Lay the floured chicken in the hot pan, skin side down. Let it cook for 25 minutes.
Flip the chicken over and cook for another 20 minutes.
Check for doneness and serve immediately. It's also great cold.

pork gyros marinade (non-tomato)

Ingredients

1 cup olive oil
1/4 cup white wine vinegar
2 Tbs honey
2 Tbs sumac
3 Tbs paprika
3 Tbs garlic powder
3 Tbs onion powder

Yogurt sauce

Ingredients

32 oz full fat Greek yogurt
5 cloves garlic, crushed
1/4 cup lemon juice
3 Tbsp olive oil
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
fresh parsley or dill, chopped (optional)

Instructions

Mix all ingredients together. Use for spreading on grilled meats, dipping pita or vegetables, etc.

White Lady From NH's Guacamole

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pork spiedies (can use marinade for shish kebob)

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Rebecca's chicken bacon pie

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Basic pie crust

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quick-pickled carrots and/or cucumbers for banh mi, bibimbap, ramen, tacos, etc.

Ingredients

For the brine (make double if pickling both carrots and cukes)

Instructions

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Basic pie crust

Ingredients

Instructions

Carnitas (very slightly altered from John Herreid's recipe)

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Beans and rice

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Oven-fried chicken

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French bread

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Spicy Chili Verde

Ingredients

For the salsa verde:

For serving:

Instructions

Chicken shawarma

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Yogurt sauce

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Photography vs. portraiture

Trained to observe the human form

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Gochujang bulgoki (spicy Korean pork)

Ingredients

sauce:

Serve with white rice and nori (seaweed sheets) or lettuce leaves to wrap

Instructions

quick-pickled carrots and/or cucumbers for banh mi, bibimbap, ramen, tacos, etc.

Ingredients

For the brine (make double if pickling both carrots and cukes)

Instructions

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Oven-fried chicken

Ingredients

Instructions

pork gyros marinade (non-tomato)

Ingredients

Yogurt sauce

Ingredients

Instructions

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